Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Sunday, 10 December 2017
Good morning everyone,
Yesterday, we wrote about the very special individuals in each of our lives who have been important or made a difference as we all make those positive steps in the healing process. Today, I am hoping to continue with that positive theme. If you would like to, please share a time when things may have seemed a bit more chaotic than we would prefer and through mindfulness, the smile of a stranger, a call from a friend or just watching a sunset things seemed to settle us into a safe, less chaotic and more joyful place.
I will be happy to begin as I happen to have had one of those seemingly chaotic days on Friday. I was in a hurry to get home as the snow began to turn our 5 lane highway into the equivalent of a parking lot. I promise, my car was actually in Park for most of my commute. I finally arrived home only to discover that the power was out. Oh my, all of those committments were stalled temporarily. So, I did the one thing that I truly love and went for a walk in the newfallen snow. The moment I walked outside and became mindful of the beauty that surrounded me, heard the laughter of the children and received warm smiles from neighbors the stress just melted away. I sat with the scene for a while and realized that this was one of those times when I was not in control of the things creating my anxiety, but certainly was in control the time I spent appreciating the positive aspects of the moment.
If you cannot think of a specific time, that is okay too. I would love to hear from you and know how you are doing today. It is always nice to see the familiar faces of my trauma family pop up on the screen.
As always, be kind to yourselves and make sure that self-care is a part of your day.
@Compassionatelistener108
Friday was my crazy day too.
I hate grocery shopping, so many people, especially at Christmas, public transport, etc, but at the end of it, i always make myself stop, sit in my favourite cafe, where the staff are beautiful and only see me once a fortnight, but still know me by name and what i order and drink my coffee.
I've had stronger days right now, but I'm doing ok today.
@Tenacity37 Holliday is definately way stressful for me too. It's cool you were able to manage the situation and enjoy your day despite the crazyness. Well Done! 
@Tenacity37
That sounds like a wonderful way to unwind after a crowded trip to the market. Isnt it nice to walk into a place that we know, the people are kind and always greet you with a warm smile.
I am glad that you are doing okay right now. I hear that it may not be the easiest time but you are certainly doing your very best. That alone is quite admirable.
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@Raveninthelabrynth
Thank you, Raven!
@Compassionatelistener108 My Pleasure Dear. I guess for me there are more like rough moments, never anymore a complete day. I tend to change my focus really quick these days. I always seek beauty and humour and, and have learned to find it anywhere and under most conditions.
@Raveninthelabrynth
I love the way you see the positive. I believe your presence with your sense of humor gives many people the smile that makes their day just a little bit brighter. ☀️
@Compassionatelistener108 D'aww shucks 
@Compassionatelistener108 im glad you got home safe. Our area near London grinds to a halt when it snows so we are trapped at home now. Despite a head cold managed a hike in the woods and hubby helped push cars out of the village. Trying not to beat myself up for not hiking into the hospital as i know staff struggling to make it in, but i know i need to rest so i can do it tomorrow.
Sending hugs to all.
@inventiveOrange1 Hey Orange, sorry your trapped at home. The head cold doesn't sound fun either. I hope you recover quick and can enjoy some home time. :)
@Raveninthelabrynth thanks Raven x
@inventiveOrange1
Orange, it is amazing that both you and your husband give so much of yourselves to others during such a time of need.
I was talking with a friend not too long ago as I have spent a little bit of time in London, York and a few other beautiful locations. I cannot imagine myself making it through the roundabouts in the snow ☺️
I hope you also allow yourself to get a lot of rest and feel better soon. Sending some hot tea your way.
@Compassionatelistener108 needing that tea. And yes the roads are still shocking. Thanks and hugs.
I spent most of last night helping my brother who was completely drunk and throwing up. Today is his birthday, and he wanted to ring it in out at one of the bars. So we started at a bar none of us had been to before that was actually pretty cool. By the time we left there, it was down to just me and him. He was a little stumbly when we left there but he was still pretty good. So we went down to a bar that I really like that hed never been to. When we were there he kept saying how much he appreciated me being there and staying out with him until midnight because our mom and step dad and his girlfriend had gone back home already so it was just us. When it did turn midnight he was so excited that wed made it to midnight and he high fived me and told me again how much he really appreciated me being there. He shouldnt have gotten another drink though lol. Cuz after the next drink he started barfing. To his credit, he made it into the toilet each time! I mean, I had to hold him up to walk him home, and he kinda fell right inside the door and some came up on the rug, but other than that he was good! Then my mom made me stay with him all night cuz I paid for his drinks. So, that was good (not the barfing but my brother never says how he feels about anything so the fact that he kept telling me how much he appreciated me being there was good), but now I have to finish some finals on basically zero sleep 🙃
@BeeLeigh Sounds like a rough nite indeed. Good Luck with your studies. :)
@Raveninthelabrynth
Thanks Raven! It wasn
@BeeLeigh 1 Paper, 2 finals left. We got this. ;)
@Raveninthelabrynth
Yeah we do!! 2 papers and 2 finals left!! 😎
@BeeLeigh Rockin ar werldz 
@Raveninthelabrynth
Yeah we are! 💪🏻😎
@BeeLeigh
There was good and bad, I'm glad you were able to see the good between the bad too though! A lot of people would have ignored the fact he was expressing appreciation and focused in on the bad, the fact you were able to pick out positive outcomes is really good! I hope it did you some good, seeing the positive is hard to do but can benefit you greatly!
@Diandra
It wasn
I am not doing so good today. My head hurts from wrestling with all the emotions that are racing. I feel like my head wants to just explode. Words are so important but words can be the most misunderstood thing in life. Words have much power. Words can give life or take life away.
Many of you have encouraged me to hang in and to reevaluate some things, well I have spent a few days searching myself, my intents and my motives behind what I say and how I receive what others say to me.
We are all encouraged to talk about what is bothering us and to seek counsel when necessary
My question is: how do you talk open and honest with people if your motives and intents are already on trial? how can I be free if you tie my hands and say I am free? How can you tell me to share if you silence my voice. Then tell me it's all in my head. Well if I am the dysfunctional one I think you may be right it is in
my head
@scarletPear1945 We must choose the ones we open up to wisely. Therapists, Listeners, and other such support aren't there to judge you, nor invalidate you. s and Family aren't always a good whoice as they can be judgemental and have their own opinions. Do hang in there, please keep exploring your thoughts and feelings, but perhaps consider the ones you chose to speak to more carefully.
@Raveninthelabrynth
It's my therapist
Today is one of those days when just can't find peace, all seems very annoying even if it's not and all I want is to sit in blanket fort.
@Morfo66 *Raven sets up a 3 room Blanket Fort and stocks it with snacks, water, and juice. :)
Hang in there Morfo some days are just kinda crummy, It will pass. What would you rather be doing other than bumming out?
@Raveninthelabrynth
Thanks! <3 I would stop feeling sad and go to sleep.
@Morfo66 Hmm... <3... another Math Problem...
Two! Two is less than three.
@Raveninthelabrynth i want snacks... wheres my snacks :P hehehehe
I began to panic when I realized two days later that I had missed an appointment. I'm concerned whether or not the place will charge for $100 for the missed follow-up appointment, or if that charge is only for the procedure appointment (which I did attend). I had a lot of stress realizing I could be charged so much money and the guilt, shame, and fear of it slipping my mind. I wrote the appointment down in my planner, but I forgot to consult my planner. I got caught up in blaming myself, telling myself I should be more responsible, and asking how I could have let that happen, worrying if I could afford the potential fee.
I took a moment to stop and take and breath. I took my time to address each concerning thought in my head. I'd probably be able to afford it, along with all the other expenses I'll be expecting this holiday season. I thought of options I could consider, just in case I ended up short. I was out doing errands when I had realized, so I asked myself, "Is there anything I can do about this now?" I couldn't call because I didn't have the number. I'd have to go home first to find the number to call the office. So I asked myself, "What can I do to help myself calm down and make it through this? What are my next steps?" I decided that when a worrying thought came up, I'd tell myself my plan to finish up my errands, go home, and call the office to ask about the fee and rescheduling. Then I focused on listening to calming music and breathing through the anxiety as I bussed home.
I called the office and left a message. I felt a lot better creating that structured plan for myself and after calling, I felt a lot less stressed about the whole thing. I'm hoping they'll get back to me soon so I can arrange to pay the fee, if required, before I leave on Wednesday for a holiday trip.
@Zeraphim Excellent Work! That's how we do it, make a firm and decisive plan and carry it out. It's great you broke your stress down in a logical manner. :) As far as the fee, if it is the first time and un intentional often many places will forgive the fee. Never know, but if you offer them money, they'll take it. 
Keep up the Great Work, and have a wonderful and safe holiday.
@Raveninthelabrynth Thank you for all your kind praise! Your reply made me smile. :) I hope you also have a wonderful and safe holiday. <3
@Zeraphim Thank You
<3??? The same Math Problem, I must have gotten it wrong... Ok, One! One is also less then three 
@Raveninthelabrynth Ah, I was hoping it would turn into a heart. <3 often turns into a heart on other social media. What I meant was 
My birthday is Wednesday and I know it sounds like a bad lifetime movie, but after the year I had, I wanted a boyfriend for my birthday. However I met a guy just before Halloween and it was nice and exciting at first, but then I realize he was not the same guy. . . It was like he split personality. . . Fun Tigger, which as time went on I rarely saw and wanted to complaining Eeyore. I have my own issues of depression, anxiety, and pstd which ive been holding back because i been trying to help him, but whatever i say rarely matters, because once he stops complaining over one thing, he'll easily find another.
We agreed to just be friends. I have this feeling his next thing he'll complain on is my birthday. He was the one who promised me to take me and such. . . I never asked for it.
I'm just not looking forward to my birthday and it sucks.
@Rebekahwriter13 Aww hon, don't let awkwardness spoil your great day. If he contacts you, you can simply say "I have other plans sorry". Or even "I'm sorry but I'm not feeling comfortable with this and would rather go about other plans".
It's good to set boundaries and hold them, don't be too shy to rule your world.
I wish you a Happy Birthday, I hope you have a wonderful time.
@Raveninthelabrynth
I don't have other plans or friends that aren't busy as (all of them have kids.)
Hi. The last part of the week, I hadn't been feeling well, but on Friday it snowed and I was able to see, via social media, family and friends smiling and playing in the snow. My daughter enjoyed it as well. So, that made me smile and it took my mind off of my grief.
@JJi It's awesome you were able to take your mind off your woes and focus on others having a wonderful time. That is a great gift.
Seeing your children having fun is a true blessing.
Get well soon my friend.
Dmö
@Abdallah2017 Hi, are you speaking of Dmö in Ankara Turkey, or the German for Diabetis? Either way we need to keep our posts in English please. I hope you are having a great day.
