Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Monday 27th August 2018
When I first saw this picture I felt a lot of different feelings - sad, mad. scared, happy, curious...it was a lot of feelings!!! Then I noticed that my feelings were changing as I looked at different parts of the picture - different parts of the tree. But the thing that I found most interesting was that I didn't notice the "whole picture" until I took a step back.
This made me think that maybe this is how it is with our healing and our trama. Sometimes we get so stuck (or caught) in one part, we don't see the whole picture. We fail to see the "seasons changing."
When you look at this picture what do you feel and see? Can you imagine that your life is like this tree? Can you get yourself to see the whole picture and maybe even see the beauty that has come from ashes? This is your SAFE place! Share a little, a lot, or just say Hi. Your thoughts and your voice are cherished & you are LOVED! ❤️
@KLM3278
Oh KLM, I don't have time to fully respond at the moment, but I think you just nailed it. I don't see the full picture. I see the destruction and the pain inlife, but I fail to recognize the beauty. I fail to step back far enough to see beyond the pain. What an amazing picture.
@practicalIdeal2007
It really is an amazing picture!!! Did you notice the people in the tree? I'm glad this is helpful to you. Feel free ro share more comments are you need. I think all of us understand what you said so far. So the hard part is now figuring out how to step back and see the beauty. See the whole picture. This is very personal. I think it's part of our healing journey and part of God's work in our lives. For me, I see the beauty in how I can now help other people who are hurting. If I hadn't had my tree the way it was, I wouldn't have empathy - empathy and helping people is beautiful because every person is worth so much!! ❤️❤️ Thinking of you tonight. ❤️❤️
@KLM3278
I didn't see the people. There is so much to see in the picutre. Much like there is so much to see in each of our lives. There is so much depth any meaning beyond what a single glance allows. I get so used to not stopping to look at things. Not stopping to really think about it, take it in and understand it.
Thank you.
Hi !
The picture is beautiful KLM, I wish I was able to write something interesting but I'm not ok now, so I will just send you a lots of love to all.
@Coly
It's ok to not be ok tonight. Thank you for sharing how you are right now. I wish I could come visit you and make you some tea & fresh chocolate chip cookies!!! Then I would hug you if it would he ok by you .. and we'd drink tea and I'd just sit there with you to remind you that you're not alone in your section of the tree!!! ❤️❤️
@Coly I hope things get better for you soon
@Wildheart123
Thanks Wildheart
@Coly
*waves* 
@KLM3278
that's a beautiful picture and really great thoughts thank you for sharing that...
I think you are perfectly right, most things in life are like this picture... when you look at them from an inner perspective, you only see parts of it and you might only see the dark and scary parts... sometimes we need to take a step back and look at the whole picture... seeing the big picture is sth really important for me, seeing through things, recognizing different sights on things, hearing different opinions... what you said, this taking a step back and looking at the whole picture, for me that symbolizes not judging anything or anybody... always take a step back, breathe, pause, think... see the whole picture, look behind that tree, look in all directions... it's never only about one opinion, about one view on anything, it's about the big picture....
thank you very much for this post, I hope it makes more people take a step back and look at the whole picture.... for me this was a nice thing to wake up to
@courteousNorth5140
I'm real glad this was helpful and a good thing to wake up to. Thank you for sharing ❤️❤️
@courteousNorth5140
What you said makes me think of mindfulness and choosing to focus on the positive, and how we as humans have an inherent negativity bias, and so we need to work extra hard to notice the positive just to overcome that natural bias. Sometimes I know I have thought it was "foolishly" optimistic, but I have learned it isn't, really, it's simply trying to become more balanced.
@singercrystalspirit
yes SInger, I think that's quite true what you're saying about the balance.. everything has to be in balance, the good and the bad, the light and the dark, that's how it works... we only can handle the negative if we can open our eyes for the positive... and we can only see the positive when we open our hearts and stop hating... especially we as trauma survivors know how hurtful hate is, how hurtful it is to only see one side of a story, like believing the simple explanation for a black eye, like not listening to somebody's intentions, like not respecting somebody's feelings... there always has to be a balance and the balance between love and hate is just peace... that's what I wish for...
@courteousNorth5140
Beautifully said 😊😊😊
@KLM3278
Wow, I love this picture!! That's so true -- looking at each quadrant brings different emotions to go along with that season. That makes me remember something my dad told me months ago when I was having a really tough time... He said, life has seasons, you're in a rough one. It'll turn around.
It can be really challenging to see the bigger picture when we get "caught" in the details of where we are at the moment. Speaking from experience here lol. I'm honestly not sure I could spout off any strategies how -- I'd have to do some research!
@singercrystalspirit
Research is always a good thing ❤️❤️❤️❤️
@KLM3278
Right!?
@KLM3278
Hi KLM,
I have a hard time describing what I feel all the time so I'm just going to start by describing what I see. The vibrant colors in the image was the first thing that captivated me, namely the vibrant yellow-orange-red in the top left quadrant. These colors made me think the tree was on fire. It is a stark contrast to the desolate scene and mellow colors in the top right quadrant. Other than that, I noticed how the lights shining past the clouds in the bottom two quadrants looked like lightning, and how the sharp distinction between the red and green leaves makes the right bottom quadrant look fake.
Perhaps this image does reflect my perception of my life as of late. I see only the extremes, and they're either like the blazing heat in the hot summer, or the harsh wintry storms -- there has been no peaceful times, only times where I need to escape from external forces. Also, it seems like the peaceful times are just fake and preparation for the worst that will follow -- just like how the vibrant red leaves that will fall in the autumn, are signals of the harsh winter to come.
Maybe some time away from it all, to reflect at the small changes that have developed, will help me see the whole picture, and maybe it'll help me relate to or find joy within the more peaceful times, if they were ever present.
@humorousBeing8966
Safe HUG if you want one ❤️ You really noticed a lot. I think that's amazing that you can notice so much and then think about it the way you are. Maybe in a strange way that is a step towards some peace? Its so hard to find yourself in the fire or complete cold. I like the idea of stepping back and looking at the whole picture because for me I do find some peace in seeing what I have made it through and I'm thankful to God for that. Can you share something that you think maybe could help you find some peace? What would you need to see in your life to feel that? ❤️
@KLM3278
Thanks for your kind words :) You are so generous with your kindness.
I think lately I've been finding peace with letting go of things. Maybe letting go of all that anxiety regarding anything, but at the same time it's only letting go of everything did I find some peace. Maybe finding out that I matter and that my own comfort isn't selfish and greedy. I still need to find what exactly matters to me and what I need to invest my resources in, as well as what exactly are the resource-draining things that I need to let go. Perhaps even defining clearly what those resources are -- what are the things that motivate, inspire, and nourish me, and what are the things that do the opposite.
Hope you and everyone is having a fantastic monday :D
@humorousBeing8966
Hope you are having a good Monday too 😊
@KLM3278
Love the picture KLM and love the thoughts you share too. Thank you. Also love and appreciate the way you show love and care and support for us here with your gentle touch.
When looking at the picture I first saw the seasons and the contrast between these. How some seasons in our lives are cold and hard like winter, and then there is new growth in spring, followed by a calm and blooming summer in the sun, and then the vibrant colours and strength of autumn. Agree that when we pause and step back we see the big picture, and notice how we have weathered the seasons and how each has had some significance.. how beauty comes from ashes. x
@rozie
😊😊 I love watching in my life when its seasons match up with nature
I feel like i definitely prevent myself from seeing the whole picture. Im stuck in winter, and i dont know if its because its where ive always been so its familiar, or i dont think i deserve anything different. Either way it is cold and dead and im so tired of waiting for spring. Maybe i do self sabotage, i dont really know. I sometimes wish someone out there would tell me the truth of what they see, or that i could see the world through a different lens. Everything is so relative, so confusing.
@Npepsicola
♥️ Sometimes winter seems so long simply because it
@Npepsicola
Let me really challenge you how someone here challenged me about my thinking like that. NO WAY!!!!!! There is NO WAY you "deserved" any of the things that happened to you!!!! It's NOT your fault!!! It was NEVER okay! - Why is this so hard to believe? I don't know the answer. I don't know psychology. But I guess for whatever reason we often struggle with thinking we deserved bad things and we still do. I know the truth now - and I hope you will come to know it also. You are NOT what happened to you. You are a survivor now and everyday you can take another step forward away from the past. Your healing is at your own pace and only you can take the steps. ❤️ We are all here cheering you on because we believe in YOU!!! The brave, strong, capable, loving, caring, smart, beautiful and wonderful humanbeing that you are!!!! 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃 I'll pray for you tonight!! You're are loved! You are safe!!! You are very important in this world!!!! ❤️❤️
Just wanted to say hi. Feeling alone today.
@RedHawk6547
Safe HUG ... you are not alone!! We are HERE! 😃❤️❤️😃😃❤️❤️😃❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Why do you feel lonely? Or alone? I really understand ❤️❤️
@KLM3278
Thanks for the safe hug. I'm feeling lonely because I have no friends but online. Don't get me wrong I'm glad I have them. It's just hard when you have no one except a therapist to talk about things with. I'm a single mom so it just me and my daughter. It's hard for me to meet people and make friends because of major trust issues. I'll be ok just have to remember I'm not alone here.
@RedHawk6547
I understand your struggle about not having friends. I've been starting to make some. It is hard. And trust issue make it even harder. How wonderful you have a daughter!!! I bet she loves you a whole LOT!!' ❤️❤️❤️❤️ I'm glad you're here! Because as I've been told a lot - we are real!!! We aren't pretend people ❤️❤️❤️
Just a thought? Do you attend a church? It's such a great way to people. And they often have programs for kids! And ways to connect with other single mothers even. BIG SAFE HUG!!!!!
@RedHawk6547
Hi Red ☺️ or do you prefer Hawk?
I
@singercrystalspirit
Sorry it took me so long to post. I decided to go to bed early last night. I was not in a good place and was hoping getting some sleep would help. It has helped some. Hope you are doing well.
@KLM3278
It's one of my favorite pics as it shows all emotions and and seasons.
It remind me of the main building at the Cleveland Clinic, my brother would have to go to building M for his heart surgeries, and they would have an art piece of motion. It was, I think an apple tree, and it would grow and the leaves would change. Then the snow would fall, it was on projection screen and the cycle was like 6 minutes long, but I would always watch it whenever I we there.
The happy spring, the exciting summer, the colorful fall, and cold yet beautiful winter. It was comforting.