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practicalIdeal2007
13,875 M Pacing Forward 10
PathStep 236 Compassion hearts1,852 Forum posts699 Forum upvotes1,213 Current upvotes1,213 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2023 Member sinceMay 29, 2018
Bio

About me huh.
I use writing as way to understand and express myself
he/him pronouns
I'm a bit of a walking mess

A poem I wrote on hope …

Hope
A hope so fleeting you can hear the skitter of it's toes.
It creaks and groans with untold woes.
It tries to tread through the grotesque grime.
Attempting to reach the mind in time.

Recent forum posts
The Journey: Into or out of darkness
Trauma Support / by practicalIdeal2007
Last post
 November 23rd, 2018
...See more I'm not really sure what the point of this space is, but sometimes I need somewhere to put things. To write thoughts and ideas swirling around in my head. To share things I've written or want to write. The thread in the "My Story" section is important and holds it's own meaning, but I feel I need a new space to put these things. I'm not sure where I'm going right now, or if I'll even get there.
My Story
Trauma Support / by practicalIdeal2007
Last post
 November 26th, 2018
...See more I'm not sure what to say here. How little say, how much to say. My story is a nightmare. A nightmare that some simply dismiss as fiction because it's too much. People tell me that "most people couldn't handle what I've been through". To me this says that I should give up because I can't handle it either. My early years were surrounded by abuse physical, verbal and sexual. We didn't do love, hugs are compassion in the house I grew up in. I was molested by a family friend from 5-13. At 13 I discovered I was pregnant and had an abortion. That decision still haunts me today. I escaped the situation by moving in with a 27 year old man. I eventually married him. When I realized he was a pedophile it was too late. I had no one else in my life and I was stuck. At 19 I finally escaped his grasp. My life reached a point of semi stability. I was then in a major accident that resulted in a traumatic brain injury, among other things. My partner at the time could not handle the situation and left. Alone, hurting and depressed I spiraled through life for many years. I finally started to make some progress and move forward. Then in March I was assaulted by 3 men in the park. Any progress I made came crashing down. I've been fighting for a reason to keep on ever since. I have been diagnosed with PTSD, Borderline Personality Disorder, Sever Anxiety and Sever Depression. The nightmares, flashbacks and unexplainable feelings I get are more than I can bare. I know that nobody can fix it. I can't fix it. I've tried. I only wish there was some hope to hold on to. Some reason to believe that I won't be stuck in this dark pit forever. There's so much more to this story, but I won't get into it. I'm sorry if this is too much information. I'm not sure what else to do at this point. Thank you for reading.
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