Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check In - Saturday August 11th 2018
I love this community!
There, I said it. Love, love, love this community 💖💕
So Ive been a bit distant from here lately, but what I see is this community doesnt need any one or two individuals. It thrives and functions on its own. Members support members, supporting listeners, supporting members. That simple but effective interdependence of a functioning team.
But I'm conscious that can be hard for people new to a community, when they see a tight team of individuals and wonder whether theres a place for them amongst that. Let me tell you all, theres a place for everyone. Whatever your experiences in life, your thoughts, your fears, you will be heard. And you deserve to be heard, your voice is important.
So join in, join us, be part of the trauma family and feel the love. Youll be made very welcome.
Share a joke
Share a story
Share your life
Share your day
Share whatever you want in here
Because this is YOUR. SPACE.
We love you, and we are here for you💜
💜To add or remove your name to our new Trauma Sub Community General tag list to be notified of new threads in the Trauma Sub Community please click here
@Rain45 @Avaray @Shadeshack @BeeLeigh @Faeryschild @Lavendermoonlight @KLM3278 @jr50 @agreeableKite4304 @PhoenixPatronus @Morfo66 @raychascotch @KatieMoon1 @Tamba @Jenna0903 @melliotm @PanamaBanana @inventiveOrange1 @HearingYourHeart @TreesandWine @guyb @Sharkradio @MKjart @Lilyflower0817 @caterpillargirl @Survivetoalive @exuberantTriangle2562 @coraline23 @Ivorycat5573 @fearlessPear8268 @SemicolonSurvivor @weare1 @weareall1 @Annaka1 @moonchild95 @summernight69 @sheaintgotnoshoes @rationalWillow8882 @DeborahUK @AMusicalSilence @catsith @energeticPenny8 @Rebekahwriter13 @behindhazeleyes @sensitiveShade5337 @singercrystalspirit @wittyTree8219 @Ocendade @Rpjrx @Brooke12 @tenacity37 @Raveninthelabrynth @Axeman53 @kkSp3nc3 @blissedNblessed @Softforesthsp77 @AriannaPink @sereneSoul23 @promisemehope @IPreferWinter @Zombii @Godborned @Jessica86 @resourcefulPond1641 @Lilibuth12 @Tir @Michelle0608 @The_Final_Chapter @Halogen @BubblegumPuppy68 @ScarletPear1945 @CaloenasNicobarica @Hoxenos @Christine1980 @TheresaWilliams @Compassionatelistener108 @LovelyChantel @Pureriver56 @unassumingSummer6022 @Reedrainshimmer @resourcefulPond1642 @Kuma0187 @NonHoPaura @courageousNorth9872 @NacienteLuz @Waterlily16 @Helpfulsoul64 @TheHoneyDoll @Saif1for1Resilience @butters45 @purpleWest8143 @silverIceCream21 @Dandelionmoon @Bumblebee16 @consciousawakening @Shaiya365 @archerzvy @JJi @CopingwithTrauma @musicheals61 @disneynerd23 @ScarletPear1945 @Longday08 @sittinginahoneymoon @Quietbeach @loyalYard9488 @thatdramaticsoprano @understandingJackfruit9057 @amiableZebra3993 @Waterstreams057 @placidFriend3007 @AndreT @orchard9786 @sociableSailboat9634 @Calmlake1999 @emotionalMaple9419 @calmballoon3183 @disneynerd23 @MomRNFNP @Pdanziger @easymap6620 @MoreThanAConqueror18 @candyhaunt @namelessgirl99 @plumLake851 @streamoftears @quixoticRaven @Redhawk6547 @Sk1ttles @Shayc1 @Samdoc99 @Mikathewolfdog @Tacomytaco @stella17 @blinkk @PaperCrane1123 @Equalnotabove @felicia96 @CartoonDarling @Tayboi @Compassion21 @lilblackcat89 @ashes @selfdisciplinedTriangle5384 @amiableSummer3420 @FangsInsanity @Anj0806 @Spoonog @rissadawn @brokenflutterby @g00dwitch @No715 @SpruceRaven @tidyMoon3222 @helpfulHuman4992 @Djs3 @dynamicHemlock1736 @Hope3729 @hardworkingStrawberries3477 @courageousCake401 @humorousBeing8966 @NancySV1 @mysticPhoenix883 @oceanmom @gymnast9460 @Nonbinarywaffle7706 @Tbeth @felixfriend @Chels @8883ef @DaisyLion @forcefulSkies @spotthedot @courteousNorth5140 @Alcynically @ArianaMay @SB @affectionateNorth4018 @J12g34 @FloweringBunny @loyalDrum2337 @nolongerafraid
@DeborahUK
Hiiii Miss Deborah!!
@sensitiveShade5337
Hi Shade
@LoveFromSara
Hi.. help meeee 😞😞 I'm scared
@sensitiveShade5337
actually it's fine
@sensitiveShade5337
Sure?
Im here (Sorry, apperantly not getting the correct notifications...)
@sensitiveShade5337
Did you find a way to ground?
@DeborahUK
So yesterday I told people things that I hadn
@Roslyn992
Wow! Well done! Honestly, its such a big deal to speak out, and I really hope you continue on that journey of giving some importance to your needs, rather than those of everybody else.
Much of what youve written is focussed on the impact on others. But what about you? What about your needs? Do you recognise you matter too? So those feelings of guilt, please consider what exactly you have to feel guilty about. Can you put yourself outside your situation for a moment. Imagine a colleague or a friend telling you what youve just told others. Would you think she should feel guilt? Would you think she should put everybody else above herself? Or would you perhaps think she deserves some care and compassion?
You dear friend, you deserve that care and compassion. If what helps you is changing your shift pattern, then ask for that change. And if it proves too difficult, perhaps a compromise can be reached. But please, please, please put your needs as high as everyone elses. You have every right to be heard and to be cared about.
@DeborahUK I worry about people. My empathy and my compassion make me better at my job but sometimes it is overwhelming. People
@Roslyn992
Hi Roslyn,
Thanks for checking in and sharing, im so happy you managed to tell and that your friend was able to really be there for you, making things a tiny bit easier. that is very valuablae.
You are really taking some big steps, and im glad it seems to be working out, even though its exhausting and leaves you feeling a bit raw. Keep up the good work, but dont forget that it can be okay just to take small steps too, maybe even pause and just rest if things gets too overwhelming.
@LoveFromSara
It is very difficult for me to think about getting help. The last two times I have tried have gone very badly. I told myself I wouldn
@Roslyn992
Im glad to hear that you have good things in your life and that you are able to focus on that, Roslyn, that can be really helpful, sadly its often not enough. Trauma can be insidious and sneak into our life even though things are going great.
Im glad your partner makes you want to seek help, sometimes doing it for others can be easier than doing it for us selves. Calling a helpline is really hard, it takes courage, you doing that tells me you are motivated and maybe getting ready to try again. Im sorry your first two attempts ended so badly, sadly it does happen, but there are good help to get out there.
Keep taking steps reaching out, Roslyn, make sure you get the support you need, you deserve it. Whatever happens, you will always have support here
@LoveFromSara
Right now it
@Roslyn992
Im sorry its hard right now, Roslyn.
I think a lot of us have the mindset you are describing. It can make things hard. But maybe being avare you of that mindset and see how it might not be helpful can be a start?
@LoveFromSara
Right now I hate myself for reaching out to people. I found the busiest most overworked woman I know who is already under a lot of pressure and looks after a lot of people and I just made her day ten times worse
@Roslyn992
Wow that's a very hard day you had there!! Well done hun you were so so so strong, just getting those words out can feel like choking and I am super proud that you managed.
It also sounds like you have a great friend there which is awesome :) everyone needs a rock in their ocean, even if only for a little while.
One step at a time and at your own pace, remember healing takes time and to be honest rushing it does nothing (I know I tried). You just told someone, that's a huge step. Wait for that to sink in and then deal with the next problem.
*Non threatening hugs if you want them* :)
@DeborahUK
I almost broke down in my session today but I was brave 
@humorousBeing8966
I wonder what you fear about breaking down? Why this sense that holding it all in is brave? Dont you deserve to be heard? For what it counts, I think you do. In fact I know you do. You dont have to be this person who never shows any emotion and never sheds a tear. Its okay to be you. Its okay to feel. Wouldnt it feel quite brave to do just that?
@DeborahUK
I don't want to get hurt again....crying would make me vulnerable and I will get taken advantage of again...
They're going to convince me of a perspective that will only hurt me in the long run.
I don't know if I can take anymore pain
@humorousBeing8966
Ah okay, I hear you. Yes, your thoughts sound very reminiscent of past experiences. But can you see the differences now? When you say your ‘session, Im assuming you mean some sort of therapy? In which case this is in a safe environment with a person there who is focussed on your well being and safety, and not out to harm or take advantage of you.
So yes, I get that trigger, but I wonder if you can ground yourself into that moment, the here and now, and recognise you're safe now, and youre in good hands.
@DeborahUK
I don't know if I can trust her because the last one said the wrong things :(
hi Debora
Good to see you.
@scarletPear1945
Hey you found us! Were you on the tag list?
@DeborahUK
Yes my name is there
@DeborahUK
Yes my name is there
Hmm.
@DeborahUK thank you Deb. you are very appreciated.
@inventiveOrange1
Aah, thanks Orange. Its nice to be here and see so many friends, both old and new. I hope youre doing okay.
@DeborahUK Great to hear Debs. Im fragile but here x
@inventiveOrange1
Im sorry to read youre fragile. But yes, youre here, facing the day, reaching out. Let me reach out to you, hold your hand, and reassure you life wont always feel like this. There are highs and lows in life. Hang in there dear Orange, ready to ride those highs. Phew, what a journey!
@DeborahUK Great to hear Debs. Im fragile but here x
Hi Deb 
I'm feeling overwhelmed today. I would really like a hug.
@FloweringBunny
Dial-a-hug ........ taaa daaa! Your hug is duly served. Just the right warmth, safe, secure, full of kindness and compassion. Come here Bunny, my arms are open 🤗
@DeborahUK *hugs* thank you
@DeborahUK
Joining this community was very intimidating for me. I lurked in the shadows for a long time before I first posted. A point came when the pain was greater than the fear. I feel like I say the wrong things or use the wrong words. I'm an unknown. I appreciate the people here and that this group exists.
I'm going to crawl back into my corner now, as today is proving to be too much.
@practicalIdeal2007
Well let me join you in that corner. I often think you meet the most interesting people in lifes corners, so Id love to hang out here with you a while. Im so pleased you spoke up so I could spot you. Must get these corners better lit eh? Now then, you say the wrong things you reckon? Ooh err, I wasnt aware there was a right and a wrong. Thats me and you both putting our big feet in it then. Feels good though dont you think? Who wants to conform after all? Yay to the corner crew!
@DeborahUK
If conforming was the goal, than I'm in real trouble 
. Thanks for joining me in the corner.
@practicalIdeal2007
Hi Deal,
Do you mind me joining you in the corner?
You did a very brave thing comming out of that corner and speaking up, I hope you feel like it was worth it. If not every day, then some day. And its okay to retreat back to the corner sometimes, we all do.
@practicalIdeal2007
Thank you for coming out of your corner to meet us. I have found this by far one of the most supporting and comfortable places on the internet and I hope it can do that for you too.
You were super brave to come and speak to us and I hope you continue to do so :).
*Comes in sits in comer with for solidarity :)* *gentle non threatening hugs if you want them*
@Lilibuth12 @LoveFromSara @Avaray @practicaldeal2007
Well, this corners getting quite crowded now isnt it? Good to see you all here though :)
@DeborahUK
Sometimes sitting alone in the dark corner is hard, but leaving it is even harder. Today is one of those days that I just can't seem to leave the house, even though I have things that need doing. I appreciate all the support.
@DeborahUK My day was kinda special. My daughter bought a car today, and her dad and I came along. It was a fun time, which is cool because he is my ex. We seperated almost 20 years ago.
After that I had a really awesome talk with my other daughter. Told her a bit about how things are going and she was just so supportive and awesome.
It is almost scary to feel this good.
@nolongerafraid
Oh Mas, enjoy those moments. Try not to doubt theyre deserved or that theyll last. It sounds like your family bring you so much joy, and that your daughters are growing up to be just as awesome as their mum.
@DeborahUK Enjoying every minute
@nolongerafraid
Mas! Im so happy you caught a break and that things are good today. New car for your daughter? Sounds exciting. Having a real talk and getting support from your other daughter? Sounds wonderful, connecting and enpowering.
Make sure to hold on to that moment and those feelings, Mas, you deserve them
@LoveFromSara Thanks Sara!
So I've been feeling a bit like this for the past couple of days (but especially today):
Was it because I was annoyed? (Oh I was, yes) Was it because I was tired (yeah I guess I was kinda tired this week)? Was it because I visited a place that's like the American DMV today? Was it because my plans for this Saturday did not work out so well so far?
A couple days ago I ran out of my allergy medicine. My current medication isn't working so well for me anymore so I wanted to switch. Suffered a bit until I remembered/had time to go out to get some. Saw a sale tag (ooh, and a bonus pack!) so I got that one. I feel awful today. I'm experiencing my regular allergy symptoms and I feel sleepy!
Going to try to be semi-productive with whatever is left of today (doing some laundry now), then I'm going to throw a pizza together because Boston Pizza is overpriced cardboard trash.
Doesn't that bunny look comfortable?
@Torremp
Finally a bunny that realises theres more to life than carrots! Good analogy though in a way. However tired and beaten we get by life, we need to keep facing it head on, getting out there, staying productive. Only that way will we be able to discover what else life holds for us. Our own opportunity to move on from carrots to pizza - okay, maybe not such a good analogy!
I genuinely believe we can make opportunities for ourselves though, but theyll seldom come knocking if were just laying in bed staring at the ceiling. Not that I dont advocate for ceiling staring some days, just not every day!
Good to hear youre still battling on Tor, even when life keeps slapping you round the face with a wet fish :)
@DeborahUK
Sometimes I'm just tired of fighting.
Hey everyone :)
Just wanna say how great all you guys are. I am genuinely so touched by the support offered here and by how vunerable people feel they can be here. I've seen people come out of their shells over the last year, people join, and people stay. It's been an awesome experience and I honestly can't thank all of you guys enough.
I don't think I would be here today with out all you people and honestly it makes me feel safe to get on with my life and try the best I can. Because when I fall over I have you guys and really it's a pretty damned great safety net to have.
Noone understands the need to make a fort like you guys do or the desperate desire to feel safe. I've always felt alienated because of these feelings before, it's nice to have a place to call home in that respect.
Okay overly emotional moment over. But anyway thanks guys, and welcome new people!!! This place is a judgement free zone, speak out or lurk it's up to you, be yourself. But when that day comes when you have to talk there's a place here for that :).
@Lilibuth12
Beautifully put Lili, and expressed far better than I ever could. But yes, this truly is a beautiful community, offering both hope and support. Thank you for all your contributions towards it xx
Im doing ok. Therapy is coming up soon with my therapist. I think she will help me move forward with the next step in my journey.