Traumatic Experiences Community Check In - Saturday September 1st 2018
Theres A Hole In My Sidewalk: Autobiography In Five Short Chapters ~ Portia Nelson
Chapter I
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost … I am helpless.
It isnt my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
Chapter II
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I dont see it.
I fall in again.
I cant believe I am in the same place.
But, it isnt my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
Chapter III
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in … its a habit … but,
my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
Chapter IV
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
Chapter V
I walk down another street.
Can you identify with this story? Its so easy to just keep doing what weve always done, making the same mistakes, sticking with whats familiar. But what if we took a different street? What if we thought differently, felt differently, acted differently? What sort of adventure might we find ourselves on?
Its officially a new season starting today. Summer is over in the UK. Its the first day of Autumn, or Fall to our American friends. What a good time to start over, to make some changes, to take a different street. What could you do differently? What change do you want to see?
Im supposed to be working on a better way to handle flashbacks this week. Here i am at almost 4am and they just keep coming. Im trying to keep my mind busy but as soon as i close my eyes they are there. I just want to sleep im so tired.
@Npepsicola
I'm awake to ❤️❤️ So you are NOT alone ❤️❤️ Have you tried grounding? Do you have a stuffed teddy to hug and feel safe with? I do and he helps a lot. I can share him with you 🐻❤️ His hugs are very powerful, so be prepared. You've been warned! ❤️ Let me remind you also that you are safe now!!! You are here!! In the present and you are safe!!!! I'm here with you and you can feel the bed beneath you. The mattress against your back, the blankets cover you! They are soft and you can know they protect you as they wrap you up and hold you gently, as you feel relaxed and very safe!!! Good night and sweet dreams! ❤️
I was always told that I never learned and I guess I've internalised that. I give up on change before it's even started because I am scared and tired and I just don't want to go through any more unknowns. I want predictable even if that is full.of negatives.
However I have changed, I've changed alot about myself and after each new trauma I changed myself a bit more. Sometimes those changes led to dark scary alleyways with loads of holes and other times to much safer streets. Eventially you get fed up with holes and start doing recon on new roads before traveling. Change is scary and I do hate it, sometimes it's easy to perceive even the positives as holes but you can only try :) I will say though changing Street is great, but do check which street you are changing to, because desperation can lead to dark paths.
@Lilibuth12
I love the wisdom of this post. And even though you initially say you gave up on change, it sounds like youve tried a lot and achieved a lot. Change isnt always smooth, but if you dont like the place youre currently at, it almost has to become an inevitability. Keep doing your recon of new roads before travelling - I loved the thought of that!
@DeborahUK
I'm not really sure what habits I need to change...and what entails this different path I should take to feel differently. I guess I need to be out and only home to sleep and shower. Being home doesn't make me feel right anymore.
The thing is maybe I've been continuously changing my path and trying new ones. maybe not even until I reach a hole in the ground or the dead end. Perhaps I just keep changing streets because none has worked so far. I don't know. I'm trying to find similar themes but I can't or I'm not convinced there are similarities.
