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Sometimes I hate being a man

User Profile: Theother172
Theother172 January 28th

I know women suffer a lot of horrible things, but I'm tired of some women saying that all men are abusive and violent. I was in X once, and I said something about a case that had happened in which a hospital worker abused another person. I said that the problem wasn’t that he was a man, but that he was an abuser. I also said it was a matter of lack of professionalism—I regret saying that because I think it sounded insensitive, but I didn’t mean it that way. A girl said that being a man and being an abuser are the same thing. They insulted me a bit, and now I feel guilty, and deep down, I kind of hate being a man because of this. :(

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User Profile: toughTiger6481
toughTiger6481 January 28th

@Theother172

do not take it personally.... nothing is ALL ....... 

feel empathetic by those who can not see the difference between ALL men and abusers. Those people  who continue to make statements like that are both intellectually and emotionally immature.  It is not worth trying to converse with those who feel  people need to be labeled and grouped then stereotyped by their personal lens......  

1 reply
User Profile: Theother172
Theother172 OP January 28th

Thank you tiger 💜

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User Profile: CatListener
CatListener January 28th

Do not feel bad. Being a man and an abuser are two different things. Your comment was on point: that man was unprofessional and an abuser and does have nothing to do with gender. Sending hugs! Cat

1 reply
User Profile: Theother172
Theother172 OP January 28th

También soy de Argentina jsjs, thank you Cat

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User Profile: kalymmenon
kalymmenon January 28th

Do yourself a favor and don't attach yourself to the ignorance of others. Let them talk; you know you. Know yourself as a man; vices are not excuses for being ignorant of virtues.

1 reply
User Profile: Theother172
Theother172 OP January 28th

Thankss

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User Profile: Mina08
Mina08 January 28th

@Theother172 I can appreciate how frustrating and hurtful it can be to hear those things. I can assure you that there are women out there, myself included, who are aware of the difference between abusers and the rest of men, in spite of our repeated adverse experiences with men, and lack of positive role models in our personal life.  Not only that, we are also aware that there are men out there who are incredibly caring and brave, and who are actively helping others and making the world a safer place. I hope that you have women around you who can hold space for you and not react in a dismissive or insulting way when you express your feelings about this subject.

1 reply
User Profile: Theother172
Theother172 OP January 28th

I have some, don't worry about that. My problem is that I don't like to be seem as a monster :(. Thank you

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Hey, I get where you're coming from. As a woman with my own perspective, I can tell you that being a man and being abusive are not the same thing, just like being a woman and being a certain way aren’t the same thing. It’s so important to recognize that abuse is about behavior, not gender. Men are not inherently bad because some men behave badly, just like women aren’t inherently a certain way because of the actions of a few.

I get that it hurts when people misinterpret what you said or react negatively. You were expressing something valid. It’s okay to speak up, even if the response isn’t always what you expected. Just because someone doesn’t agree with your perspective doesn’t mean you’re wrong or that you should hate yourself. YOUR VOICE MATTERS, and you don’t need to apologize for it.

Keep being you, and don’t let one tough interaction shake your confidence. You’re not defined by anyone else’s opinion or reaction. You’ve got your own truth to stand on. And most importantly, don’t let this one moment make you feel lesser.

1 reply
User Profile: Theother172
Theother172 OP January 29th

Thank you 💜, I will try

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User Profile: Tinywhisper11
Tinywhisper11 January 29th

@Theother172 in my opinion women and men can be just as bad as each other. You being a man and feeling bad because of it, is really upsetting to hear🙁 I'm sorry sweetie 🙁 but you have no reason to feel bad. Labelling a whole group of people as one thing, is very ignorant🙁 I hope the positive messages here make you feel better ❤ gives you a giant tiny hug ❤

1 reply
User Profile: Theother172
Theother172 OP January 29th

Aw thanks 💜

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User Profile: quietlistener2023
quietlistener2023 February 12th

@Theother172

I can understand why you would feel that way. In reality I see nothing wrong with what you said. Some men can be abusers but men can also be heros. I do wish we could have more heros in the world. Men can be the protectors of women carers of women at times but at times can be abusers. I think - or hope - that the abusers are a lot less. 

Women can also be abusers. In fact, I unfortunately see quite a few women now abusing men or falsely accusing them and use the fact that they are women to get away with it. I feel sad to see some men deeply hurt and suffering from aggressive wives. Yet women can also be a source of peace and comfort for a man

So I think the issue is exactly as you pointed out that abuser is not the same as being a man, the same as gold digger cannot applied to all women.  Generalising people due to gender or something else can be hurtful. 

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User Profile: Theother172
Theother172 OP February 12th

You are right, thank you :)

1 reply
User Profile: quietlistener2023
quietlistener2023 February 12th

@Theother172

You are welcome! 

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