SITUATIONSHIP!!
I've been in a girls' school since my childhood. I've had my first guy interaction with this guy, lets call him Z . He is my father's best friend's son. So we met at his house then we went on a family trip and I started liking him. We are from different cities. When I got back home we started having conversations on *** messenger and I grew fond of him even more. A year later I decided to confess him. When I did he didn't give me a clear response. I felt broken. I started distancing myself but still preserving our friendship. A year later, he confessed he started liking me too but he refused to get into a relationship as we belong to different cities and he didn't want a LDR. So it grew into a situationship. Things were normal in the starting but as the time passed, our expectations towards each other increased which we were not able to fulfill. I started having anxiety attacks. So I turned my full focus towards my career and he also felt, that maybe I am moving on from him, 6 months passed like this, then I went with my parents to meet my grandma who lives in the same city as him and his house is a just a few streets away from hers, so we also went to his house. I had acted extremely casual, didn't even allow him to hug me when I came home I got his message. He asked why was I acting so distant, I told him it's nothing like that and the conversation went on. So my hopes got back, then he confessed to me that he still likes me and that he thought I had moved on from him, but he still didn't want LDR.
I came back to where I was 6 months ago, I lost all my moving on progress and now it is tough for me to move on again. WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW!!!!! I can't block him or cut contacts with him as he is a family friend and my parents' don't know about our situation so I don't wanna involve them. Feels like I'm stuck. I just wanna fall out of love with him and behave like normal friends do.
@Muskyy
You shouldn't think a lot about such things, this is for the first time you felt this way so it's natural to get confused. But in reality many people meet strangers, they become friends, then bestie, then sometimes lover and again stranger. So there is no harm in self doubting your thoughts, but you shouldn't go back to the same person who hurt you already, if you feel that it was misunderstanding by you, then I won't say to give him a second chance.
You will meet many people who will make you feel better and you will get attached to them, but that doesn't mean you can always spend your time with them. Wait for the right time and right person, for now don't play wrong moves because you wanna experience new things (sometimes people do with wrong person and suffer more) and you should focus on yourself !
Incase you find this insufficient to decide, feel free to share your thoughts ðŸ’
@LazyTongue Yeah I totally agree with you, but how should I treat him? We are best friends so he knows if there is a behaviour change in me. I can't end my friendship with him. So how should I treat him?
@Muskyy
Nothing lasts forever, learn to say no to anything which you don't like or want.
Your whole life is waiting for you to enjoy every rollercoaster ride but if you like bumpy rides then choice is all yours!!
Still having doubts? you can tell .......
@Muskyy I am sorry you are in a complicated relationship. He seems to be making a relationship not possible by his hesitancy to have an LDR. I do not know what you should do.
If you had a friend with a similar situation like you have, what would you tell them?
Is this your first relationship or have you had others? How did those go?
What do you hope to get in a relationship? Do you think that is realistic?
Maybe thos questions will raise some points that may help you. hope you find something to focus on besides this frustrating situation with no easy resolution.
@Muskyy I've learnt it the hard way....but love is supposed to be simple. The relationship you have with a person should be uncomplicated and things should feel easy. A home where you feel safe, understood and comfortable. No boy is worth the effort until then. We often think about others so much that we forget to prioritise our own mental health. Sometimes we need to have the courage to take the hard decisions and just focus on ourselves. Do not lower your standards for friendships and relationships. Whatever decision you take, it should only help you feel peaceful. Life is a rollercoaster, where your decisions our your safety belt, and you get decide which person you are willing to make your partner, someone who makes the ride peaceful and safe.
@passionateSea2002 thanks for your thooughtful reply.
