Day 11: Loneliness During the Holidays: Finding Connection and Support
Hello everyone,
7 Cups has an exciting therapy update to share this month. To celebrate, we’re doing 25 days of Gratitude, Self-Care, and Personal Growth. Read more here.
Loneliness is a very complex and deeply personal experience. It can manifest in different ways for different people - some may feel a constant ache in their hearts, a longing for companionship that seems out of reach. Others may feel a deep sense of emptiness, as if something is missing from their lives while some may feel a sense of isolation, even amid a crowded room.
And the holidays can amplify these feelings of loneliness. The emphasis on family and togetherness can serve as a painful reminder of what is lacking in our own lives. The holiday season is often portrayed as a time of joy, love, and togetherness. But for many people, it can be a time of intense loneliness and isolation. Whether due to the loss of a loved one, being far away from family and friends, or simply feeling disconnected from others, the holidays can bring about a profound sense of sadness and longing.
Please know that you are not alone in your loneliness. Many others are also struggling during this time of year. It may not always be evident, but others understand and can relate to what you are going through. Here are some steps you can consider to take this holiday season!
- Acknowledge your emotions and experiences. It is okay to be not okay during holidays. It is okay to acknowledge and accept your feelings. It is okay to feel sad, lonely, or even angry. It is important to give yourself permission to feel these emotions and not judge yourself for experiencing them. Please know that your feelings are valid.
- Create new traditions: If you are experiencing loneliness due to any reason, maybe consider creating new traditions that honor your emotions and help you find solace or even modify the existing ones. This could involve engaging in activities that bring you comfort and some kindness to yourself, such as reading a favorite book, taking a nature walk, or indulging in self-care practices. By creating new traditions or modifying existing ones, you can make the holiday season feel more personal and enjoyable.
- Acts of giving back & kindness: Giving back to others in need can provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment. You may consider volunteering or engaging in small acts of kindness to others. By focusing on helping or supporting others, you may find a renewed sense of connection and meaning during the holiday season.
- Practice self-compassion: When you are feeling lonely, it is important to be kind and gentle with yourself. Please know that to prioritize your well-being and treat yourself with the same compassion you would show to a dear friend. It is important to take care of yourself physically and emotionally during the holiday season. Make sure you are getting enough rest, eating well, and engaging in activities that promote your well-being. This could be exercise, meditation, or simply taking time to relax and recharge.
- Seek support from others: Loneliness can be an isolating experience, but reaching out for support can make a significant difference. Consider joining support groups, talking to a friend who you can rely on, or exploring supportive communities where you can share your feelings and experiences with others who may be going through similar struggles and challenges of loneliness.
Now, I would like to hear from you. You can share your thoughts for either or both as you feel comfortable!
- How do you acknowledge your emotions during the holidays?;
- OR, if you can create a tradition to deal with loneliness during holidays, what will it be?
Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below, and let's support each other in finding comfort and connection during the holiday season.
@ASilentObserver
if you can create a tradition to deal with loneliness during holidays, what will it be?
watching movies, spending time outside in nature, going on a date by myself, self-care night!
@KateDoskocilova yaaay! Self care holiday sounds like a awesome idea ❤
@KateDoskocilova I honestly get a little depressed during the holidays because my family and my boyfriend are far away, but I love planing ideas on how to make the best of my time alone, either journaling or working on my goals, or even watching a good movie and having a glass of wine.
@LinaMTT96 I hear you Lina, holidays can bring up difficult feelings of missing loved ones far away. You mentioned finding joy in activities like journaling, working towards goals, and enjoying a comforting movie. Harnessing your inner strength and focusing on self-care seem to help you through challenging moments. I'm glad you find ways to be gentle with yourself. It is impoortant
I would try to learn some new skills as last year when I was feeling lonely inside, I started to learn singing and I felt like my thoughts have found a voice and when I now sing, I feel that I'm being heard somehow and it's a very good change in my life.
@RjOmar Omar that is nice thinking there. It sounds like learning singing was a very positive change for you during a lonely time. Finding an outlet to express your feelings through your voice seems to have brought you comfort and connection.
@KateDoskocilova I am glad finding ways to spend time with yourself during the holidays is important to avoid feelings of loneliness. A self-care night focusing on things you enjoy could be soothing.
@KateDoskocilova
Recognize and enjoy all happiness and joy that crosses my path.💖 There is always something to be very thankful and positive about!
@ASilentObserver I knew hristmas was a thing a couple of years ago. But to battle lonliness and unhappy thoughts, I buy myself toys😁😁😁😁 that way I can spend Xmas having fun 😁 yaaay! Xmas ❤
14 days to go 🎅🎅🎅🎅
@ASilentObserver thanks for this thread. It gives me food for thought.
One thing we are doing for the holiday is to have a mindfulness session on the 25th at 3:30 PM EST in mindfulness room and an an open chat session in the fifty plus room at 6PM EST so people have some place to share the holiday no matter what things look like in real life.
All are invited.
@soulsings
Oh how ive missed your sessions!
😊
@PetiteSouris hope to see you back again. https://www.7cups.com/forum/50plus/QAsDiscussionsResources_1770/50plusDiscussionsandTopicsDec2023toFeb2024_207920/
@soulsings Thank you for inviting us to the mindfulness and open chat sessions planned for the holidays. It sounds like thoughtful opportunities for connection where people can find support. You are compassionate and caring in creating safe spaces for others during this time.
@ASilentObserver your recognition and appreciation brings joy to me.
Thank you.
@Heather225 Thank you for sharing how you acknowledge your emotions during the holidays, H. It can be difficult to experience sad, anxious, or overwhelmed feelings at this time of year. Allowing yourself to feel and express what you are going through, while also practicing self-care, sounds like a focused and caring approach.
I also expect thos holiday to be very difficult to get through. I ended toxic friendships in July and have since been completely alone and everyone in family is in different country so I only talk to them via Skype. I hope I can manage this holiday. I plan to visit some places by driving around and cook most of my meals. Movies will also be on the list.
@sympatheticOrange8782 I hear you. Holidays can be very challenging because of our expectations that everyone is with their family except me. There are billions of people not with their families.
I like your idea of cooking meals. I try to cook special foods for the holidays and maybe freeze some for later. I even will take pictures and post them here on 7 Cups.
Also we have a friendly gathering on Monday the 25th 3:30 PM EST in mindfulness and 18+ over are welcome to the Fifty Plus Open Chat at 6PM EST . Both are moderated with the intention of making them a kind and supportive place to be.
many thanks. I will try to join the chat. I am very grateful for your words of kindness
@sympatheticOrange8782 so glad to hear your heart is open to joining our discussion. It also happens every week. Here is the full schedule https://www.7cups.com/forum/50plus/QAsDiscussionsResources_1770/50plusDiscussionsandTopicsDec2023toFeb2024_207920/
@ASilentObserver any one here ?
@kentyler2005 hi there. I did not see your post tilll today. How are things with you?
I mean it’s not like it’s gonna make a difference regardless of what you you still feel lonely in the end I feel very lonely right now and I’ve been feeling this way for a long time now even tho I live with my family I haven’t had the best interactions with my family I feel tho as if nobody really gets me or understands me at all let alone take the time to get to know me my family don’t make it any better they know i don’t have any friends and I think started to noticing that I don’t interact with people that much and I’ve had a couple of unsettling conversations with them about it and despite going through this they put the blame on you and paint you as the one at fault for being or feeling lonely and for feeling lonely what’s the point of even spending the holidays with anyone if things keep coming up to make me feel down for not being able to contribute very well for the holidays because of my position why even try giving back on the holidays if you don’t have much to give what’s the point of even trying to put in effort and make connections if it’ll just make you feel even more lonely than when once where before.
@TerryTHEwonderer You have been feeling lonely for a long time and it's difficult being around a family who don't fully understand you or make the effort to get to know you better. Feeling misunderstood can take a toll. You have gone through a lot and, understandably, the holidays might bring up difficult feelings. What matters most to you in relationships?
Well what matters most to me in relationships is feeling loved and comfortable and free to express yourself by others that’s how relationships should be but I don’t feel that around my family or anyone for that matter my family tells me they love me and I do believe but I don’t necessarily feel comfortable or comfortable to express my thoughts and how feeling around them and I don’t think they’ll understand it heck nobody understands me so it’s like I’m walking on eggshells around them or with other people as well.
@ASilentObserver
These days, as I am older, I try to counter feelings of loneliness with gratitude that I am still here & trying to stay present, in the here & now. I try to practice this every day, as loneliness doesn't recognize holidays, etc. As much I can feel the draw into "holiday spirit", I have found that approaching Solstice/Christmas like any other day, maintains emotional balance. I will be working over the holidays, providing care & support to older LTC residents, which I am happy to do.Us healthcare workers work 24/7, 365 days a year.
@CaringSub Thank you for sharing about how you find balance and meaning during the holidays. You are dedicated to supporting residents throughout the year. It sounds like focusing on gratitude for being present, and providing care for others, helps counter feelings of loneliness. What aspects of your work help maintain your emotional balance during this time?
I recently watched a good YT doc about the loneliness epidemic. It was very depressing. But by the time I watched the 'Solutions' I realized I am doing a lot of them already and felt better.
I reached out to family. Just a "Haven't heard from you lately? Hope all is well. Look forward to talking soon" message. I get "Call you back tomorrow." I'm still waiting weeks later. Four people ghosted me.
What does one do when the only people who know you exist are jerks who don't care if you exist?
@Positron2 That sounds like a lonely and painful experience. Reaching out to family yet feeling ignored can hurt. You must feel quite disappointed and let down. Please know that you deserve to have people in your life who make an effort to care for you as much as you care for them. While relationships can be challenging at times, hanging in there with compassion for ourselves and others is often the wisest path forward. How are you feeling in this moment?
@ASilentObserver
Unfortunately, I have to stuff them in order to keep those I live with daily, happy or pleased with me. Talking about any topic that is a no-no, just makes things very unpleasant and ends anything that might be happy and/or positive. I have to find ways to self-care and do things that make another person's holiday better and brighter!
@4Jasmine That sounds like keeping others happy comes at a cost to your own feelings and authentic self. Focusing on others to that extent can be emotionally taxing. What helps you feel better while still connecting with loved ones? You are caring and want the best for everyone. We are all here with you to support as well Jasmine
@ASilentObserver
Thank you.💖
@ASilentObserver
I am trying to find a good balance for everyone. I am aware it's not the perfect approach, but I'm doing my best in difficult situations.👍
@4Jasmine you trying jasmine and that's all counts! We are all here with you
@ASilentObserver
Thanks!👍
