September 9-15 questions and answers by Lisa, the therapist, THREAD CLOSED do NOT post more questions please
Hi everyone!
Welcome to the first in a series of monthly events called "The Therapist's Office". This is a thread dedicated to your questions about therapy and how you might benefit in coping with particular challenges you face in your life. The therapist’s answers to your questions will follow some time within a week after the thread is started, in this case by the 15th of September. To subscribe, so you can follow this thread and the therapist's answers, either post a question in this thread and/or hit the subscribe button in the upper right to get alerts when new posts are made to this thread.
We welcome your questions, but what type of questions should I ask? We welcome questions about therapy and coping skills for particular mental health challenges you face.
This month's therapist answering questions is Lisa Meighan MBPsS, Counselor and Director of 7 Cups online therapy program. To learn more about them check out their profile.
Please avoid asking the therapist for specific advice like "should I date this guy after meeting him online?" You may ask the therapist for coping options with the particular mental health challenges you face and they can share options that you may want to consider, but this is not an advice column. It is more like a place to learn about how online therapy at 7 Cups could help you deal with life and the many challenges it presents.
If you have any customer service-related questions please email mailto:support@7cups.com as they cannot be answered in this thread. Finally, please avoid questions about medication and drugs as these are best suited to be answered by your physician, and anything not normally discussed in 7 Cups forums.
If you have a question about this thread, please feel free to PM me https://www.7cups.com/@soulsings
I am subscribed to this thread and eager to hear your questions and the therapist's answers.
Can psychotherapy help as emergency access, physical care, testing, medical procedures, etc. decline due to the pandemic?
it seems like appropriate ways to manage illnesses are vanishing.
@AffyAvoHi there, Can you describe to me a little more what you mean by your question? I would love to answer this and explore it with you. I look forward to hearing from you!
@LisaMeighanMBPsS Triage protocols will be activated as there are not enough beds. I cannot see my GP for a year. All non urgent hospital procedures have been cancelled. Can therapy help as other treatments vanish?
@AffyAvo
I completely understand what your original message meant now as I have experienced similar living in the UK and there has been such a negative ripple effect due to the pandemic.
Whilst therapy cannot medically treat any physical health issue, it can make it easier to cope with but medical advice from a GP/other medical professional is still vital and if you are experiencing any medical issue then please do not delay and always contact your GP/Healthcare system in your local area. I know some practices are offering telephone medical consultations which of course has its limitations but it's something to think about.
We have noticed a ripple effect in other areas including online therapy because it has been challenging to get an appointment in some places for face-to-face therapy and there is a lot of anxiety and frustration surrounding the pandemic worldwide. I feel therapy can be extremely beneficial to discuss how you feel about certain health issues including delays and interim coping skills whilst there are long waiting lists.
I hope that helped and thank you again for your response.
Hi Lisa!
I have been told social anxiety is fairly easy to treat. What can one expect from therapy (here or in general) for social anxiety?
I know that a big part of overcoming social anxiety is to expose yourself to social interactions, so maybe online therapy, such as 7 Cups offers, isn't very helpful in that aspect? Since in doing it you basically avoid social interaction.
@Akunin11Hi there, That is a great question. Social anxiety and the behaviour associated with the condition can be quite complex at times but therapy can help you to work on feeling better in social situations. Social anxiety and working on exposing yourself safely to situations that make an individual feel anxious can occur during the online therapy process. Most of the work in therapy is usually applied outside of sessions whether online or offline. An online therapist can work with you to identify triggers and to work on forming other perspectives as often social anxiety can make you feel insecure, withdrawn, and sometimes even depressed. Although, it’s important for the individual to find the right fit in therapy for the best outcomes whether that is online or in-person.
Hi Lisa,
What are ways a person can identify insecurities?
How can a person deal with or fix their insecurities?
@Human2017An individual might constantly feel the need to ensure they meet perfectionist levels of performance, constantly criticise themselves and others or they might be withdrawn and try to shy away from social interactions, they might feel distrustful towards others and expect the worst outcome in situations in their life. Working on insecurities can take time and it’s important to look at the reasons why we might be feeling insecure. Another way to find relief from insecurities is to talk to yourself with compassion. So perhaps if a person is struggling with a critical inner voice they can begin by challenging the inner voice and telling themselves positive affirmations such as, “I am capable and worthy. I can do this.” The process will not be easy as usually insecurities have been with an individual for their entire lives and it can feel uncomfortable to challenge your insecurities and they are not going to vanish overnight. One step at a time. :)
@soulsings
I would welcome information on how to find a therapist when you just have a list of providers in your area, but don’t have any recommendations from your primary physician, friends, family, etc.
I would also welcome information on determining what type of mental health provider you would need for your particular situation (e.g., psychiatrist, psychologist, licensed professional counselor, licensed clinical social worker, etc.).
@UberRuminatorHi there, That is a good question and whilst we do not have a set of requirements for anyone to engage in a particular type of therapy with a specific clinician it is best that you find the right type of approach for you. It all depends on your individual needs. It might be a useful idea to write these down and search for a therapist based on your needs. If you would like to see the 7 Cups online therapist directory you can search here: https://www.7cups.com/therapists/ and you can search for the issues that you need support with, gender of your therapist, clinical issues, and location.
@LisaMeighanMBPsS
Thanks for the reply. I checked out the link you provided. It requests a city or postal code. When I enter mine, no results appear. I also did not see any place where I could search by symptoms.
@LisaMeighanMBPsS and @soulsings I'd like to thank you both for this opportunity.
I've been feeling lack of motivation to work on anything for weeks - this includes both household chores and anything "serious", but it isn't like depression because I still feel excited to relax by watching videos, listening to music, etc. It has been happening for weeks, and whenever I try to "force" myself to do these tasks, another side of me rebels and I end up sulking, not doing anything.
I wonder if I can benefit from a therapy in this case. If so, which therapy would you recommend and for how long? Thank you in advance.
@11820ReadHi there, That is a great question and I am sorry to hear how you've been feeling lately. It can feel very overwhelming when you feel like you’re struggling to find the motivation to work on the things you need to work on. Do you perhaps feel a little overwhelmed with where to start exactly? That can lead to feelings of frustration and feeling stuck that you feel like you’re unable to actually begin the work you need to do! What about small steps to achieve household chores? Therapy could help you to feel more motivated and it all depends on how long you feel that you need therapy for. Therapy that is person-centred will most likely help you as you can begin to understand what is happening in your life and to make sense of your thoughts and feelings which are leading you to feel this way.
What small steps can I take to start allowing myself to not be so emotionally affected by the choices of others around me? What I mean is, those people that are very close to me are living their lives, doing what they want, and sometimes the things they do and/or say or how they act impacts me emotionally and causes me a ton of anxiety. I feel frustration, fear, sadness. But I know there isn't anything I can do. They're all adults. They can make their own decisions, and ultimately it doesn't affect me in any way but emotionally. I'm trying to find a way to be able to see what they're doing but not emotionally react to it to the detriment of my own health.
@thoughtfulmommaHi there, Firstly, you sound like such a caring person :) It sounds like you have tremendous care for your loved ones and that says good things about you. It’s natural to care and to feel emotionally affected by the situations around you with your loved ones. However, it can cause a lot of strain on you to constantly be worried about others. Could you perhaps try to focus on yourself and the things that make you happier? So to shift your thoughts from others onto yourself. How would you say that it is impacting your own health?
@soulsings
wow thanks for this 😊
I want to highlight first that I am safe and doing okay but there are times I feel way too upset and feel that things will not get better and like I will be stuck in one place (mentally , physically, emotionally) forever. I want to come out of this . Please share some tips or coping tools for this and for finding motivation to keep going when nothing seems alright.
@OptimisticempathHi there, I am glad you are safe and doing okay as that is important to us at 7 Cups. Sometimes, in life, it can be tough and we feel like things might not get better but try to remember it is just temporary, and in this moment you are okay. Try to avoid thinking about the future or your past which is likely going to cause you to feel unsettled but instead stay in this moment and remind yourself that it will be okay. Please remember that we are here for you at 7 Cups and you’re not alone. It might help you to try some breathing techniques to help you feel more grounded and settled. I’m going to post one once I’ve answered all of the questions and I hope you find it useful :)
How do I know if my brain made something up for attention?
@BreadBedHi there, That is an interesting question. I've love to explore it more with you. Can you give me an example? Even if you do want attention that is perfectly okay. We all need it from time to time :)
I'm responding after soulsings told everyone not to post any more questions, but I already asked mine. So yeah, I was talking about how when I rant about stuff like my mom throwing dishes at me when I was little, I sometimes think that I might've just made it up for attention. I believe it's true, but I'm not really sure if I just convinced myself of that to get sympathy, I guess.
@BreadBed
Hello again :)
Thank you for your response! Follow up responses are permitted as I asked for clarification from you so I could answer your question. We just want to ensure that we get to everyone and follow up but we will have more events like this one in the near future.
I'm not quite sure how young you were when you experienced the issue and it sounds like it's perhaps something that happened in your childhood that you find difficult to establish whether it's an actual memory or something called a false memory. A false memory does not mean that you made it up for attention, it could mean that you've heard information from other sources or perhaps past events that you remember clearly that may have led to your belief. That happens very often when we look back at our childhood as sometimes those memories can be quite foggy. It's difficult to say for sure but perhaps try to look at what you remember about the event and go from there.
If you feel like this event is causing you concern then I do recommend that you reach out to talk to someone about your experience. I'm glad you're here at 7 Cups and I hope my answer helped.
@LisaMeighanMBPsS hi there lisa!! do you have any coping mechanisms with trauma/ptsd to offer? that'd be really great to gather more of for me and for others i'm sure <3
@mobteruHi there! That is a great question. I know how trauma and PTSD can feel so frightening to experience for those that suffer. Trauma and PTSD is complicated and an individual should gather as much support as possible. If the individual has not gone through a trauma debriefing session, it is important that they reach out as soon as possible to a professional, support group and/or a loved one. Keeping to your usual routine can really help you to feel like you are able to cope better with the traumatic event. Grounding and mindfulness exercises can really help you to feel more balanced and focused in life. Yoga might also help some people to remain focused on the present moment. Above all, traumatic events cause reactions within the mind and body and it's okay to feel a certain way after experiencing trauma. Keep reaching out if you've experienced traumatic events and also to others suffering too. Thank you for sending in your question today! :)
Hi
i was offered/recommended support from a group of the leading psychological drs in the uk, I turned it down and made excuses as to why it wasn't something I wanted.
the real reason was I always find therapy makes me worse as I'm forced to place attention on my problems, not to mention people like that make me nervous.
another factor is that when I complete it and it's not helped just made things worse it destroys hope, reason being the official avenues have failed leaving you without even miss placed optimism/knowledge that a professional can help.
my question is giving how it makes things worse am I just not suited to it?
thanks for you time
@Pointlesswords
Hi there, It can feel daunting to reach out for support as it can feel very unknown. Perhaps with the right therapist who will make you feel at ease and allow you to process your thoughts and feelings at your own pace that it’ll help you to be able to express how you feel. Sometimes when we open up we can feel so vulnerable that we are convinced it doesn’t work but if we try to work through our vulnerabilities, we can feel empowered, supported and hopeful. I do hope that you can find support soon that will work for you. I do hope that you can begin to find therapeutic approaches that work for you, try not to give up finding support that helps you. :)
