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mobteru
4,040 M Seeking Light 4
PathStep 419 Compassion hearts125 Forum posts286 Forum upvotes387 Current upvotes387 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2022 Member sinceJune 24, 2021
Bio

my name is ava! she/her, 17, im really shy, but i do enjoy making new friends and talking about the things i love. learning to let go and cope with my trauma and my anxiety. i really love anime and cats and i love to draw!!

Recent forum posts
breakup after almost 2 years
Relationship Stress / by mobteru
Last post
 June 26th, 2022
...See more i was broken up with this afternoon. i know almost 2 years doesn't seem like much in the grand scheme of things, but i love her so, so much and we had so many plans for our future together i can't help but feel really, really lost. i don't know what i want anymore right now and i'm just heartbroken and most of it is my fault. i would love some support/advice on how to cope with this because i really feel like my whole world has just stopped. thank you ❤️
weird gray area with girlfriend
Relationship Stress / by mobteru
Last post
 June 13th, 2022
...See more i struggle with really bad anxiety and ptsd, i have for a while. even with therapy before, i find it hard to cope without medication, but i always try my best. me and my girlfriend's relationship has never been perfect, but i know that not all relationships are. what matters most to me is that we're dedicated to each other, and i'm happy to do what i can to support her. i love them deeply, and our relationship is hugely important to me and my life. - unfortunately, due to my mental health problems, it's hard to have functioning relationships a lot. that's been the case for me ever since i was young. throughout my relationship with my girlfriend, i've let my anxiety get the better of me many times, and in my assumptions and my fears and my struggle, i've unfortunately caused them a lot of pain. i am absolutely not proud of this, and i always do what i can to support her as well, as i know supporting me is not easy. - it's happened again recently, where my anxiety made me afraid about something that didn't matter in the grand scheme of things, and it made my girlfriend really upset. i apologized for my behavior, realizing that i was hugely overreacting, but usually with cases like these, the damage had already been done and the only thing i can do then is to continue to work hard on myself. i don't know if this was the last straw or not to her, but once they said they didn't want to come to my graduation anymore, i knew i really messed up. so i wrote a letter. - my letter talked a lot about what i want for us, apologizing for what i've done, sharing my plan on what i intend to do with myself, how things she said made me feel as well, and how if i'm with her, then that's enough for me. i eventually sent it to them, and they didn't really know how to respond right away. i asked if we were still okay with each other romantically, and she said she didn't know. i asked if i could still say i love you, and they said they didn't know. so i've just been holding back on being romantic at all really, for their comfort as they work out how they feel and how she wants to continue with me. i'm just trying to stay patient for her as i wait for a response. - it's all really just been a lot for me these past few days though. i feel a lot of regret, shame, and anxiety. sometimes i get angry when i'm by myself, and i've been crying a lot. it's hard for me to look at romantic things at the moment. i don't feel like i'm really living much anymore, just doing whatever i can to make the time and the days go by faster so i know where me and my girlfriend are at with eachother. i feel like they're treating me like just a friend and i don't like it. we've made so many plans for our future together and it feels like that's all crumbling apart so i'm just really struggling. i haven't gotten a clear answer yet, but i can't help but feel like she's going to call it over soon. - i just wish i could get one more chance. just one more try at things, if we could start over. does anyone know how to cope during this time? and how i could prepare for a potential break-up forever with no chance at dating again/"let's just be friends"? i love her so much and it's just eating me up lately so really any support would mean a lot to me
how to help numbness
Trauma Support / by mobteru
Last post
 October 6th, 2021
...See more i've been feeling numbed out and out of it lately. i feel it physically in my chest, like something's missing in there. it's really hard because i'm usually an emotional person and it hurts not being able to feel them as deeply as i usually do. i connected it to being triggered about my past relationship and the trauma of being mistreated and it's been difficult trying to let go and not be so fixated on the numbness. if anyone has any coping strategies, please let me know <3
support during grief
Trauma Support / by mobteru
Last post
 July 18th, 2021
...See more does anybody have anything to help with grief for losing a loved one, anticipatory grief (when the death is expected) of a parent and preferably for teens/young adults for specifics? a grief guidebook in general would be greatly appreciated as well ❤️
comfort in friendships
Relationship Stress / by mobteru
Last post
 July 16th, 2021
...See more i've always been an anxious person when it comes to socializing and meeting new people and talking with others, but i've loved having friends and spending time with people despite how introverted and quiet i usually am. i find it easy to get close to others and to have fun once i find a common connection we can make like a similar interest. though i'm someone who's very caring and supportive, some people can take advantage of that. a lot of people have taken advantage of me wanting to listen and a lot of people i trusted have used me to dump all of their feelings on me and it was so draining on me. a lot of them didn't listen to my feelings and what i had to say so it sucked even more that they usually didn't make the exchange equal. i've been able to surround myself with better people, but i find myself nervous around them and keeping them at an arm's length because I'm afraid that they'll hurt me like others did. how can i let people in and share my own feelings with them and come to them when i'm struggling so i can expand my support circle and find comfort in more than one person? i just find it hard to trust others after what's been done to me and i want to believe in the people in my life now because they're so kind and caring and they make me happy
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