CLOSED to new questions AMA with Cynthia Stocker on 7cups Online Therapy works with Depression and Anxiety
Happy New Year! My name is soulsings, the ambassador liaison with 7cups therapy program. I am thrilled to introduce a new AMA therapy thread that can help you better understand how 7cups online therapy can help with Anxiety and Depression issues that you experience in your life. Cynthia Stocker, a licensed therapist that provides online therapy services for 7 Cups, can explain how 7cups online therapy can help you cope with different challenges in your life. See her bio at the end of this post!
This format gives you 3 days to ask your question and give Cynthia 3 days to answer your questions you may have about finding therapy options for depression and anxiety. Cynthia is also available to sign up for therapy if you are feeling like you might benefit from online therapy. So you can start asking questions anytime after this post goes up and Cynthia will start answering them on Tuesday.
So if you have your questions ready, feel free to post them now. Cynthia will answer them as quickly as she can. Remember this is a 3 day thread, so get your questions in early. Cynthia will answer questions in the order received from Tuesday to Thursday so the sooner you post your question, the sooner you will get a reply.
Sometimes people ask the same or similar questions, so please read through this thread pages before submitting your questions so you can benefit from all the answers presented here and we can limit duplicate questions from happening.
Thanks for participating in this thread. I look forward to your questions and Cynthia's answers.
bio for Cynthia: I have worked in the field for about 30 years and I have experience with anxiety, PTSD, depression, OCD, relationship issues, communication issues, parenting problems, work/life issues, assertive issues, ADHD, learning disabilities and much more.
I live in the beautiful state of Idaho where my husband and I enjoy backcountry horse trips, white water rafting, hiking scuba diving and international travel. Some fun facts about me; I am a licensed falconer, I learned to swim at 30 and now I am PADI certified, and I went skydiving for the first time at the age of 54!
In addition to working with 7 Cups clients, I maintain a private practice in a tiny isolated rural town, where I completed domestic violence assessments for the court as well as attending to my face to face clients. I offer traditional therapy as well as Equine and Canine therapy. These are wonderful mechanisms for change!
Cynthia Stocker, here is my link for therapy
Hi gd day, I'm a full time Single Parent I feel overwhelmed, I'm attending nursing school also and the person I thought I was having a relationship with was living double life. I can't afford therapy but now my trust is gone, I have the fear I'm going to fail nursing school plus trying to be a good parent. I wake up sometimes having nightmares of that relationship just the red flags I saw and how I blew them off. I just want to feel better, be happy, feel worthy like I'm good enough. Any suggestions?! Please and Thank you
@navyMoon2073
Hello and thank you for your post. It can be hard to find out someone you trusted pulled the wool over your eyes. You would not be the first person this has happened to. Remember there are people out there whos job it is to deceive.
I know its hard to believe that of others, and yet it is true. Some people just dont share the value of honesty. The best thing to do is look at it as a lesson learned and moved on. You did nothing wrong and you can heal.
You can join a support group, there are many online, and develop a group of friends to help you feel better about yourself. You deserve to be with people who cares about you. Being a single parent and going to school can be hard (I know, I did the very same thing!) And yet we all must find time for ourselves. So, develop good friendships, find a good support group and leave this person in your rearview!
@CynthiaStockerLCSWLICSW Thank you so much!!!
I've been feeling really down lately (and actually for quite a while before that) and it's been affecting my sleeping, eating, motivation etc. but I've been struggling with feeling guilt that my problems aren't bad enough or worthy of getting help. Do you think online therapy/therapy would help me?
@CelestialPheonix
Thank you for reaching out. I do think that therapy would be quite helpful. It actually is not that uncommon for people to worry that their issues are not bad enough to seek help. However if something is impacting daily living i.e. "been affecting my sleeping, eating, motivation" then it does rise to the level of needing intervention. For how therapy can be helpful please take a look at my response to @windsong4444. Thank you 
How can online therapy work with a person who due to their environment has learned over many years not to talk about feelings and thoughts, who simply has a blockage to talk?
@amiableTurtle9543
This is a great question and I believe one of the ways online therapy can be a good fit is that you can pace yourself. Unlike sitting in front of a face to face therapist once a week or so there is no pressure to "start talking" about something immediately. You can take your time getting to know your therapist without looking a therapist in the eye. Having your online therapist there but not staring at you, creates some distance that can help you feel more safe. It takes the pressure off. Does that make sense?
Does feeling detached, not feeling anything like any emotion and the feeling of world is going to end can be due to overthinking of those things? Is this depression?
@Naphua12 Hello and thank you for reaching out. It is very hard to say why you have those symptoms without a history. The lack of feeling could come from a varity of reason and might have lingered for many others. I would encourage to see someone who can take a history and try to get to the bottom of it for you.
I am wondering .... Why after a traumatic event that happened would it take over a year for you to get it that it really , truly happened. As in , I lived it , talked about it but the realm of it just didn't break through. Hope I made sense.
@95969
Good morning and thank you for your question. I think I am hearing you say that even though you know the event took place it is almost as though you are distanced from it. This is actually very common. It is in fact one way our brain tries to protect us from the pain of a traumatic event. There is a name for it; Dissociation. Dissociation is a mental process where a person disconnects from their thoughts, feelings, memories or sense of identity. People who experience a traumatic event will often have some degree of dissociation during the event itself or in the following hours, days or weeks.
For example, the event seems ‘unreal or the person feels detached from whats going on around them as if watching the events on television. In most cases, the dissociation resolves without the need for treatment. However, for some people the event may have created so much stress the person stays in dissociation longer and might require help to move on.
There are many types of dissociation; Dissociative disorders include dissociative amnesia, dissociative fugue, depersonalisation disorder and dissociative identity disorder.
While I cant diagnose you, you might be experiencing some akin to what we call Dissociative amnesia
In many cases, it is a reaction to a traumatic accident, witnessing a violent crime, or being the victim of a natural disaster. People with dissociative amnesia may develop depersonalization or trance states as part of the disorder, but they do not experience a change in identity. In other words, you know who you are, and where you are, it is just that things seem surreal. If this is the case it would be important to seek professional help in order to help you move on and get past your trauma.
Hello, I hope you are well. I've heard quite a bit about journaling for anxiety and depressin. I wonder if it might be counterproductive for those of us who have a very strong tendency to ruminate and procrastinate. I'm afraid that I will spend way too much time on my journal instead of getting my work done or going out of my house....I also worry I will vent and vent and my journal will be a written form of rumination. Is jurnaling indicated in such cases? I'd appreciate your thoughts on this. Many thanks in advance.
@HelenABr Good morning.
I am well, and yourself? Yes you are correct actually. Journaling can be helpful for people who are ready and prepared to process information. In this way it helps the person continue their work toward letting go.
It is contraindicated for people who have not worked through their trauma or other symptoms and are stuck. This is because it can create a feedback loop that causes the person to relive the very events they are trying to process. Like you were saying, it would be like rumination. So, in your case it may not be helpful at all.
Hi Cynthia,
I myself have been in online therapy for 3 months. I like my therapist, just sometimes feel that she doesn't suppport me the way I like. I shared with her that I haven't been able to sleep prooperly for some time now, waking up multiple times in the night. I've tried drinking tea and sleep meditations on my phone (which is on night mode) and eating 3 hours before bed (most of the time). She suggests I should see the doctor--I'm planning on going, but what other measures should I take in the meantime?
@limeMango1470
Good morning, thank you for reaching out. First want to thank you for being so honest here in this space. I would encourage you to share with your therapist the ways that you feel you would be helped better, i.e. what more support would look like to you. I know that I as a therapist want to be the best therapist I can in each journey with my clients and feedback helps with that.
Next, sleep is so vital towards healing and you seem to know that. She is correct about having you see a Doctor in order to rule out any health issues that could be causing sleep problems. But in addition to that things like what we eat, intentional exercise, staying away from things like hot bathes or showers close to bedtime and having a good sleep hygiene routine are also helpful. I am posting a couple of links to help you with this. https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/features/food-sabotage-sleep#1
https://www.self.com/story/habits-bad-for-sleep and https://www.sleepfoundation.org/articles/sleep-hygiene
In addition to that there is a really great guided visualization that you can download for free that is specifically developed for sleep. https://healthy.kaiserpermanente.org/health-wellness/podcasts/live-healthy/sleep This is a great option because its free, it is scientifically proven to help, and you do it while you are sleeping lol. However, you do need to use it consistently. I hope it helps.
Hi there I figured id give this a shot in case you did/did not have the time to answer its worth it anyways. what would you consider are the main importances of needing medication for a issue, and just needing general therapy. I have multiple issues and stresses that have lead me to a point to where its very hard to maintain and do necessarry functions if i can do so at all, and not for lack of physical ability I just have very large problems motivating and taking the time to do so, and it makes my life a bit debilitating as id like to be able to function and work on my problems but i find it immensely difficult, and while i am aware the first step would be to get a therapist which im working on but i dont really have the resources for it all right now as im just starting to work and making sure i have proper insurance which is going to change, and makes it more difficult. I wanted to know what your opinion on when/if medication is important, and how you weigh that as im very hesitant to mess with the neurochemical balance of my brain and the adverse effects it can have. Would you also recommend 7cups therapist subscription service for the issues im facing or going to a actual normal professional in a business? Sorry if its a lot of questions but i havent had the chance to ask and im using my opportunity if you can help it would mean a lot thanks!
@need7
Good morning, thank you for reaching out. That sound really hard and I hope you are able to find some relief.
I want to tackle your last question first. I gave a great deal of information about online therapy vs face to face in my answer to @windsong4444 . That post may be helpful in determining if face to face (f2f) vs online is right for you.
In addition I want to help you with this question; Would you also recommend 7cups therapist subscription service for the issues im facing or going to a actual normal professional in a business I think there may be some confusion about therapists here on this platform. Therapists on this platform are normal lol, licensed professional therapists. Many of us are licensed in multiple states and in addition to the work we do here for 7cups, we may either work in our own private practice or contract with other face to face agencies. So, in looking at f2f vs online the difference is not in the quality of the therapist, its more along the lines of if you prefer to see someone in person or do your work in more of a paced, anonymous way. You may want to try out a therapist to judge your compatibility with their philosophy, to see if you are a good fit.
In terms of medication, I personally am not a prescriber and do not know your situation well enough to be able to understand if you should be referred for medication or not. So, I will speak in generalities. We typically think about medication for mental health issues as being prescribed when the client has is dealing with a deficit, i.e. their body is not making or does not make enough of something and needs to have the chemical replaced/enhanced pharmaceutically. However, each person and their diagnosis are different, so seeing a prescriber who is well versed in mental health issues is essential. They will take a history, look at the treatments you have tried, etc.
Hi, I just wanted to ask some advice.
I'm stuck in a bit of a rut. I'm seeing a counsellor because my mental health is honestly pretty poor at the moment. But I can't be fully honest with her because in our agreement she said she would have to inform my doctor if she believed I may be a danger to others or myself. If she does that, I'm scared I'll lose my job (my doctor is provided by my employer) because it's everything I've got and I'll have to go back head-first into the one thing that made me this way and I'm terrified that losing everything and ending up there will cause me to spiral even further down than I've already gone. I'm not sure how much further down I can go.
So I'd like your opinion: Should I tell the truth and risk losing everything or should I stifle what I've already stifled for so long as best I can and hope for the best?
@Screen77
Hello and thank for reaching out. I can see why you would be scared. I am worried for you. If you are trying to cope with something that could potentially bring harm to you or another person you should defiantly be honest. The reason is you need to be safe and no one wants you to harm anyone else. If your therapist can help you get to a better emotional space, and prevent something tragic from happening, you would want that, right?
You said But I can't be fully honest with her because in our agreement she said she would have to inform my doctor if she believed I may be a danger to others or myself. If she does that, I'm scared I'll lose my job This would be true of any therapist you would work with. All medical professionals must, per their licensure, make plans to protect their client if the client expresses, they may harm themselves. If the client expressed a threat to harm someone else, therapist is under legal obligation to warn officials. This is called the Tarasoff law.
In terms of your doctor, I cannot speak for the company you work for, if you are living in the USA there is a law called HIPAA, this law in part regulates the transfer of information. Your dr would not be able to share information with your employer just because you work for the same company.
I hope you will be honest with your therapist. You deserve to get the best treatment possible and that can only happen if you are honest.
@CynthiaStockerLCSWLICSW
Thanks for replying. I just feel that whatever state I may be in, people think of it as a lot worse and more serious than it is. I don't consider myself a danger to anyone, definitely not anyone else and not me either, but I don't know for sure if my therapist would agree. Can you tell me what you would normally do if you found out a client was, say, self harming? Or harming someone else? Would you have to contact anyone else? Even if that person was fine 98% of the time? Or would you just keep it in-house and try and deal with it?
@Screen77 - There may be distinctions between reporting, such as thoughts of self-harm vs active self-harm. I'm not encouraging you to twist what is happening with you but the way you word things might have an effect.
It's also OK to ask therapists about these stipulations beforehand, where the grey areas are and such. Asking what they report on shouldn't trigger a report in itself, even if the therapist is concerned about why you are asking.
@Screen77 sorry this AMA has closed and Cynthia is not available for more questions at this time.
I am sorry you are in a tough situation. I guess the decision is one you alone can make, since the results of your decision would fall squarely on your shoulders.
Here are some links that may be of interest:
https://www.7cupsoftea.com/self-harm/
http://gabrielle.self-injury.net
1-800-DONT-CUT
https://www.7cupsoftea.com/forum/SelfHarmCommunity_65/SelfHarm_45/StoppingWithSelfHarmAndCopingTips_15566/
https://www.7cupsoftea.com/forum/SelfHarmCommunity_65/SelfHarm_45/DistractionTechniques_16111/
https://www.7cupsoftea.com/forum/SelfHarmCommunity_65/SelfHarm_45/PinksAmazinglyAwesomeListofLinksandDistractions_21137/
https://www.7cups.com/self-harm/
This article has basic info https://www.7cups.com/self-harm/
As I've said on previous posts, I'm talking to a therapist on 7 Cups, and it has been really good. I just want to say I appreciate 7 Cups for creating these AMA's. Most importantly thank you to Cynthia and all of the other therapists for taking time out of their days to run thr AMA's and answer questions! I always feel as a member that I learn something, even if I don't have a question myself. The therapists here truly do great work!
@NG2
Thank you so much for your feedback. I am glad you are here and we can help you