Breaking the Comparison Cycle
Comparison is one of the easiest traps to get stuck in, nowadays more than ever. We see friends, family, and even strangers out there achieving great things (or things we consider to be great). Next to them, we start to believe that our lives aren’t as fulfilling because we’re not doing this, we don’t own that, we don’t look like them, etc. From these feelings of inadequacy, jealousy and self-doubt we create patterns of negative thoughts, and it becomes a vicious cycle.
But here’s the thing: everyone’s journey is unique. What may look perfect from the outside is often a carefully curated image. Behind the scenes, people are facing their own challenges, doubts, and insecurities
Social media has really amplified the comparison mindset, what with being constantly bombarded with images of people living dream lives. But it’s crucial to your mental health to remember that these platforms often present a distorted reality. What we see online is often a highlight reel that’s edited to showcase the best moments, and only those. People show you what they want you to see.
And as tempting as it is, as instinctive as it’s become, endless scrolling does not help. (And if you feel called out, don’t worry - I am guilty of this too.) You've got too much to do for that. You've got activities to find and hobbies that bring you joy. You've got people to meet (maybe even here!), and a life to build undistracted by what other people are doing.
Spending time comparing yourself to someone else is time lost to your own growth. What makes it easier for me is trying to view these ideal-looking people as motivation to light a fire in met. I don’t want to become them. I want to aspire to be the best version of myself. For instance, someone who’s become a published writer inspires me to want to set my goals and actually be proactive about them. My path is different, but if I don’t try, I won’t even begin.
The same can be said about so many other things we fall prey to when we compare ourselves to people when, in fact, we’re all on our own journeys. You can’t change your past. You can’t jump onto someone else’s path and expect to emulate them down to the last step.
Your worth is not determined by your achievements or possessions, or your appearance. It’s found in your kindness, your resilience, and your unique qualities. Try to let go of unrealistic expectations, focus on the path in front of you, and invest in yourself.
You are enough.
Such a great thread. Thanks for sharing. Comparison is the theft of joy!
@Heather225
we get this from personal self things to others comparing us to others. growing up my dad was always putting me down. this was do to comparing me to my older two brothers. but this also gave me the feeling i never was good enough for my dad. so this became later me comparing myself to others. when we did that we could never do anything good enough within our own mind.
but what we was good at my dad did not believe in and even put down them things. at times made fun of us too. even as a young child art and writing was part of who i am. but dad saw very little use for that even would say you get nowhere doing them things. he wanted me to be like him in going into things one could make a real living on he say. but even then in my mind what he was saying was not my path. my one brother got all As so he expected me to do same. so even if i got a B+ he say i should have got a A like my brother. then due to that i to would put myself down and compare myself to brother
we still working on not comparing' self to others as when one does that they never will be good enough at anything. due to some others will be better at each thing.
many will tell me i good at something then i put what it is down. share why i not. we do not take comments well either most the time when given one. we say but this was wrong with it or other put downs. many have told me we are very resilience and well it taken us a long time to believe that too. we at point we say we may not be the best at this but it ok due to we enjoy doing it.
we still working on not comparing self with others. it hard due to how we was raised.
@Heather225
I wish. I'll always compare. Jobs, relationships- they all have some element of comparison.
Professionally- I was in school for far too long for too little success. As a white man, I probably only hold the titles I do and have accomplished what I have out of privilege. How do I compare? I'm kinda worthless.
I ranked a solid 4 back when "Hot or Not" was a website. Now, I'm middle-aged and fatter. I am not on the dating market, but if I was, I'd be super worried, knowing that the girl I am dating has likely had better sex with a previous partner.
Ultimately, I'm at the bottom end of all the good things and the top end of all of the bad things. Every day for me is a series of comparisons, and I end up losing at all of them. The reality is that I am 100% replaceable, like a worn out pair of shoes. The replacement will, by its very nature, be better than I am.
To think otherwise is to simply lie to myself.
@supalark
your right and also i found what you said to be so true i am 54yr old and i not dating enjoying being single working on my own personal stuff. i see so many people fixed on how others look. not understanding that the cute guy they dating now will age and not be as cute in even few years. i found that to be sad as one should look at the whole person not just the outside. that partly why i not dating too. we each also one of a kind.
@Heather225 Love this post. So very true, my friend.
Thank you for sharing ❤ the timing of me seeing this post is so uncanny, I was actually thinking about this very thing earlier...you are absolutely right in what you are saying
@Heather225
Gratitude, Love, Prayers ❤️🌸🌷🙏
