Self-Forgiveness - A Short Video Message & Discussion

I wish I can forgive myself

@Laura It has taken me along time to forgive myself for some of the mistakes I have made, but it is necessary in my recovery from spending addiction and to manage the inherited chemical imbalances from both of my parents. The struggle is real and every day conquered is a victory!

@Laura

Thank you for sharing I really needed to hear this. I have a very hard time in forgiving myself but I'm getting there slowly. One day at a time 🙏👍

@Laura I like that this topic has been brought up, it's one of the hardest things to do I think. Self loathing, low self esteem, no confidence... All from not forgiving yourself for past events. I often struggle with it and than because I haven't forgiven myself I don't believe others when they say they've forgiven me. It can ruin friendships... After all who can love me if I don't even love me??

Thanks a great remember for me x

@Laura thank you for posting this

@Laura hi thanks for sharing. this has never been something I've been able to do. I don't even know where to start but I will try!

@Laura I forgive myself for not allowing myself to be happy

@Laura amazing so helpful

@Laura thank to so much for taking the time to post this. Even though it is hard at times I believe it is so beneficial to learn how to forgive yourself and that it's OKAY to forgive yourself! I think of it like, "I wouldn't want the people dearest to me beating themselves up, so why should I allow myself to?"

@Laura thank you for the video. I haven't been able to forgive myself thus increasing my anxiety but I'm working on it.. a baby step at a time. I feel like Ive betrayed everything I stand for but I have to accept it and move on and never let that happen again.

@Laura wow thank you for sharing

@Laura I wish I could forgive myself for letting my temper flair in my relationship.

@Laura- Hi Laura😊 Wow ..powerful message. First I just have to say, your connection with people is warm and caring - like sitting chatting with a friend. 😊💟

I couldn't agree more with this self-forgiveness. We can be so cruel to ourselves- mindlessly compounding these thoughts over yrs and then....total meltdown of self-worth. Thank you for this message. I'll be all over this asap.

Big hug for you💟

@Laura I've hated myself most of my life, can't tell the truth from self-hatred anymore, therefore is really, really, really hard to forgive myself for the things I did and didnt do. I'm trying though but it's not happening.

@Laura I wish I could forgive myself and start a new life,where there is no bond,no shyness.And if I could become old me again I want to restart my life where I am brave and leader

@Laura

I am having a hard time forgiving myself I feel bad!

@Laura

that was great advice sometimes just harder to put in practice but that well spoken Laura

I believe we are our harshest critics, and according to me we all need to (at least I do) go easy on ourselves.

Its tough no doubt but necessary .

I agree. We definitely are our harshest critics

Yes, agreed, we can be our toughest critics, well said @poeticguy

So true! I don't think we would ever say the things to others that we say to ourselves. Sometimes, it's that cruel..

It was really helpful. 👌

Glad it helped @Redphoenix20

:)

Self-forgiveness is probably the thing I struggle the most with. I always have an hard time not judging myself all the time, and not feeling guilty for everything I say or do.

I absolutely agree with everything it was said in this video, and I hope thinking about it will help me find a balance in the future.

One thing that usually helps me a bit, and I feel like sharing, is, whenever I do something that then I get angry with myself for, I try to think about how would I react if I had assisted at what happened from an external point of view. Or, like, if it were my friend doing the same, would I get /that/ angry? Would I forgive them?

A part from this, the video was very good, and arrived in a moment in which I really needed, so thanks.

@alexislestrange

​Thank you for sharing your insight. I am glad the video was helpful to you. I really like your idea of imagining what you wouldsay to a friend who was in that situation.

Also, you are deserving of forgiveness. I hope you know that :)

I definitely agree with you when you stated "I always have ahard time not judging myself all the time, and not feeling guilty for everything I say or do." I do the exact samething. For me, it seems so easy to be harsh on myself than easy and sympathetic.

Thank you for posting this video, it's very helpful.

Itreminded me ofanother video I saw a few weeks ago:

A woman, let's call her Shirley, was asked to write in a diary all the things she disliked about herself.

She then went to sit at a table in a coffee bar, next to two other women, Claire and Mary.Claire started tellingMary that she had big breasts, small legs.. but that she could probably do with it if at least shehad some charisma. But shewas fat and had nothing special.Claire would have liked to see Mary with a "normal" body, at least once. She had flabby arms and was just disgusting.

Shirley was really shocked by the conversation she was overhearing.At the same time realized thatthose were all thethings she had written in the diary. Only then did she realize how violent her conversations with herself were.

@CelineLvery insightful. Sometimes it takes seeing these lessons in others to better see them in ourselves!

Can you post the link to that video here? Thank you!

Thanks for this Laura. This is my biggest problem, I am my biggest critic and I didn't knowsuch a thing of allowing myself self forgiveness.

@Notsoglee323 What are your biggest obstacles in achieving self-forgiveness?

My biggest obstacles mainly being believing in myself and suffering lack of confidence as I feel I'm being constantly told off at work

@Notsoglee323 That sounds challenging. Believing in yourself is something i'd love everyone in our community to work towards. You have everything you need to be successful. Here are some tips:

1) Remember a time when you were successful & dwell on that

2) Even when things are hard, go out of your way to point out something that went right that you believe you did well!

3) be thankful!

Thank you for the video. It was really helpful to practiceaccepting my regrets as part of me as instead, I oftentend to think of them and say "that wasn't really me" because I feel so ashamed.Thisthen imbueshuge pressure to be perfect. It's so freeing to reframe"me at my worst"as "still me" and know I don't have to feel shame about any part of myself. Thanks again. (Hope I'm making sense :))

@Theonlywayoutisthrough thank you for sharing & watching. Yes, accepting past selves is what self-forgiveness is all about. It's also a self-care practice. We all are deserving of love, including love from ourselves.

Oh man the lack of self forgivenessis one of my biggest problems. I will often tell myself these awful negative thoughts and I ruminate on the things I did in the past and I beat myself up over it.This kind of behavior has affected me to the point where I can't really express my creativity without criticizing myself harshly. It's like I am my own bully and I'm not too happy with my behavior and yet I feel that I can't change.

@rubberSeal222

​Wow, that is very strong words you are using. Can other relate to this - "I am my own biggest bully" ?

One way to try to overcome this would be to talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend. If you are a kind hearted person, you'd never speak to your friend the way that you talk to yourself, right?

Wow that is very true! Whenever I have a friend that's coming to me for some support I always do the best I can to support them somehow. It might take quite a while to shift to that new perspective though seeing as how I've been self loathing for years now.

Thanks for making this video, @Laura! I agree, self-forgiveness is something we really need to learn to apply to ourselves from the mistakes we make. This has opened my eyes being able to see that self-forgiveness helps usto feel free, at peace and wonderful about ourselves. It's very healthy and makes us make healthy decisions. I personally have been battling anger and self-loathing against myself for a year now, and can tell everyone that it does destroy you and eat you up inside. It causes you to make negative decisions, have negativeactions, feel negative feelings,and think negativethoughts. When we forgive ourselves as you stated, it gives room to grow and think more clearly. This was something I really needed to hear, thanks again.