Am I the only one?
Am I the only one who thinks I am evil, and needs to punish myself with SH for evil things I do? Like when I argue with someone it's my fault, and I have to punish myself for being a bad daughter or friend. Or if I eat more than I should (ED related) I punish myself for that with SH too.
Sometimes I just feel like I'm an evil person, and I have to be punished for the evil things I do.
Anyone feeling this way about SH?
@EvilRegalsReadToo
Dear.
I don't know what SH means.
Of course you are not evil. The Devil is evil. You are a child of the Highest God who created ALL things also you. It is not wrong to argue, it is not neccesary to beat up yourself because of that or for any other reason. Jesus and God the Father loves you and want you to love yourself also. But - the Devil don't want you to love yourself.
@Helgafy SH is ofc Self harm. I don't believe in Christian stuff, but I think I have realized that me being evil is one of the delusions I believe in. God knows why.
@EvilRegalsReadToo
Hi.
So - there are good and bad forces and we all have to choose - love/hate, light/dark. So do good choises. Choose good things for you.
@EvilRegalsReadToo
Hi there !
I can't really relate to using SH as a way to punish oneself, as I don't see it that way, sorry.
However thinking that you're are an evil person, is admitting that there are 'good' actions and 'bad' actions. I like to think that nothing is entirely good or bad, just as nothing is never black nor white. Everything is somewhere in between, a lighter or darker shade of gray. And even if you consider that something is 'bad' for you, I like to think that if you're capable of punishing yourself, maybe you'd also be capable of forgiving yourself. Nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes.
Wishing you all the best, sending hugs (if you want some) <3
@EvilRegalsReadToo
Hi Regals <3 No of course, you're never alone in how you feel and how you feel about being an evil person (which I honestly do not think you are) is a valid feeling. I can relate to that in that I often believe that I'm a bad person (even though I know at heart I'm a good person) and feel like I deserve the bad things that happen to me or deserve just "punishment" in general I guess. I understand where you're coming from <3 but it's important to know that no one deserves harsh punishment (like SH) for anything that they've done, and that includes you. <3 Take care hon and stay strong.
@EvilRegalsReadToo
I don't think you're evil. I don't believe in good or evil. I do believe "good and evil" come from a misunderstanding of nature itself and is still used today as a means of control E.G. "don't do this or you'll go to hell" "don't do this or I'll punish/ physically abuse you" etc. I don't believe in disciplining children. I think with every bad behavior comes a misunderstanding from someone who needs help rather than hypothetically rubbing their nose in their pee over a hypothetical accident.
@EvilRegalsReadToo It's the same here at times. Punishment for being born and just existing.
@EvilRegalsReadToo
I think everyone has those moments. I don't really see myself as evil. Maybe pathetic, or at fault. And it's not all the time. I think we reach that mindset from a number of causes. Most of them either incorrect or assumptions. I have trouble defending myself. People often call me weak. I know I want to do SH over it sometimes. We often blame ourselves even though it isn't all our faults. We just follow a pattern that we know. You aren't alone. You don't need to question yourself or see yourself as evil. Because there is a lot to everyone of us. and most often we only see a fraction of it.