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EvilRegalsReadToo
12,902 M Pacing Forward 8
PathStep 72 Compassion hearts588 Forum posts997 Forum upvotes928 Current upvotes928 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2020 Member sinceOctober 31, 2016
Bio
“No buts, a but is something you sit on, not an argument.”
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When you remember your depression (TRIGGER WARNING)
Depression Support / by EvilRegalsReadToo
Last post
 July 27th, 2020
...See more ... and the worst parts of it. I know it's there obviously, but it's hard to remember when you felt the worst and just wanted to d**. I was deeply touched by a danish tv series called "Rita" today. There was this character who commited s**cide and then the MC blaimed herself for it. This episode she had a talk with a friend, who told her that she had tried to do that too, when she was younger. And then she said: "It's nobody's fault. Not even their own. They just want peace." And that really hit me square in the face. I feel blue and down and just shocked. I don't even know what to do with myself atm. and I kinda wanna cry? Bc it's so true. That's all I wanted at that point in my life: Peace. And that sentence has just woken up all my feelings who are normally located under my bed in a locked box. I don't really know what to do with myself right now...
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Is it normal? (when recovering)
Eating Disorder Support / by EvilRegalsReadToo
Last post
 July 4th, 2020
...See more I'm currently recovering from atypical anorexia, and I have these bad stomach pains after eating. It hurts like hell and I want to throw up. The only thing I have changed about my diet is that I eat a little more (very little) and I'm still very low in calories. Is it normalt when increasing intake that your stomach hurts?
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Jealous like heck
Eating Disorder Support / by EvilRegalsReadToo
Last post
 July 2nd, 2020
...See more I am very jealous. Not of skinny ppl, or normally not of them, but of my sister. She is massively overweight (nothing dangerous, but like... a lot) and she is happy. She doesn't care about her weight, and love her body as it is and I can't help being jealous. And I can't distance myself from that feeling. And I can't stop talking shit about her weight (I am getting better though). I don't want her to have an eating disorder like me, but I'm just so jealous of how she love how she looks :3 How the heck do I let go of this?
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Anxious about meeting others
Anxiety Support / by EvilRegalsReadToo
Last post
 July 14th, 2020
...See more I don't know why, but I feel really anxious about meeting others. I don't have any IRL friends bc my anxiety gets the better of me, and I can't go and visit them. That sucks a lot as I like the friends I speak to online, but I can't meet with them bc my anxiety is too strong. I have also gotten to a place, where they have meetings for young ppl, but I can't bring myself to go there, bc of my anxiety. What do I do? :3
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Caffeine?
Eating Disorder Support / by EvilRegalsReadToo
Last post
 June 30th, 2020
...See more Is it actually bad for you? How much Caffeine is "too much"? I'm asking bc I drink like maybe 2L of Pepsi Max a week, and I don't wanna do it, if it's bad for me. Obviously soda is bad for me, but that's really not what I am asking.
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First Step
Eating Disorder Support / by EvilRegalsReadToo
Last post
 June 29th, 2020
...See more This week I took my first step towards recovery. I realized that I could d** from this. I actually saw I WOULD d** from this, if I kept on going the way I was. And I didn't want to d**. I wanted to live. I just realized that. I wanted to not d** a horrible death and I didn't want my organs to fail. I wanted to try. I honestly wanted to give recovery a try. I decided that I didn't have to make any big changes to begin with, but just trying was enough. I am not eating big amounds of food or anything yet, but I am eating just a little more twice a week, and that has already given me more energy. I feel less tired, I don't nap all the time and I don't feel like I'm going to faint when I work out - or maybe a little faint, but it's getting better. It's all getting better. I'm feeling better, I'm being better. I feel like I'm a new version of me, like I'm a better me. I have also decided that I will cut toxic ppl out of my life. Like me mom making me believe I was delusional for seeing the truth. I don't think she meant to, but she made me think I was crazy and a bad person. She formed the delusions in my mind: That I was a bad person that I was evil. I don't have to punish myself for being bad by using self harm. And I understand now. I have to put myself first. I have to try every day to be better and eventually I will get better. I just realized that, and thought I wanted to share with you guys. I hope you are all as well as you can be atm.!
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Am I the only one?
Self-Harm Recovery / by EvilRegalsReadToo
Last post
 June 11th, 2020
...See more Am I the only one who thinks I am evil, and needs to punish myself with SH for evil things I do? Like when I argue with someone it's my fault, and I have to punish myself for being a bad daughter or friend. Or if I eat more than I should (ED related) I punish myself for that with SH too. Sometimes I just feel like I'm an evil person, and I have to be punished for the evil things I do. Anyone feeling this way about SH?
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