I dont hide my self harm
Why dont i mind if my boyfriend of a year finds out that i am self harming again? We havnt seen each other in a month due to lockdown and ive been struggling with my anxiety and 2 days ago i started hurting myself again i didnt tell him but i dont mind if he finds out.
Why?
@ambitiousDrum3600
I don't know for sure obviously, but maybe it's something like this...
People usually self harm to help deal with their own personal issues, like being stressed out or anxious or whatever.
So if he found out, and knows what self harm is really about, then he'd understand and it wouldn't be a big deal. I guess he should know that self harm isn't the thing to be concerned about but instead it's all the other stuff that's currently stressing people out, which I think almost everyone can relate to. And hiding it from people who don't understand gets exhausting so if he did freak out, it might be a good time to very calmly explain to him how it works so that he could understand you better.
I don't know if that makes sense or is helpful in any way.
What would say to that is he would care about you and be upset. Ok you can only change yourself and he can't change you but it does effect those around you too. Just being honest and clear with him is a good idea but over talking about it making it sound like it's good to do it isn't showing your best side or is for him. No one wants to see someone else hurt themselves so if he cares enough and still wants to help let him and don't put him down or you. You deserve to work through this together
Maybe he can research and learn how he can support you and what to look out for and who to get help from
@ambitiousDrum360
because its a personal thing and u wantvhim to see ur pain. i cant let my husband see because he said he'll run away if i cut. i was trying to hold it in but i finally made 2 tiny cuts and now i feeel sosoooo much better.
@Cosine91
He has already accepted so much about my mental health struggles so i dont want to hide anything from him. I think ill try talking with him about it
@ambitiousDrum3600
yeah its good to connect in that way. but do watch for signs of discomfort has he got a good support network?
@Cosine91
Just his cousin. He doesnt speak with his family he has an abusive upbringing and was in foster care
@ambitiousDrum3600
Oh I see. Do you think ur self harm might be triggering for him?
@Cosine91
Possibly i know he used to do it in the past
@ambitiousDrum3600
How would u feel if he started to do it again?
I don't want to upset you but I dont want you to dig a hoke for yourself my lovely xx
@Cosine91
You're right i would hate to see him hurting himself
@ambitiousDrum3600
I would suggest u try to hide the cuts and just talk about how u feel. The reason behind why you do. Avoid showing him and talking about the specific act. You might trigger him and he wouldn't tell u because he'd want u to tell him everything.
I hope u find an alternative way to cope beautiful xx
Well I'm not ashamed of cutting. I'm doing it bc it helps me, and even though my family don't like it, they have kinda accepted that it's how I react. I don't understand why everyone is talking about it as something to be ashamed of, or something we should not do. If it helps, it helps and that's what's important ;)
@ambitiousDrum3600
It could be apathy or that you're too overwhelmed with other things to care about hiding it. But most likely your subconscious self would like to be comforted and supported through these trying times of yours. Which is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.
Not hiding my self harm is probably the only reason why I was able to stop eventually. It gave people the chance to help me when I needed it. It was a long road, but in this present day I haven't had the urge to self harm in years.
Don't be afraid to seek love and support! You don't have to be alone in this, we're here for you. And I'm already so proud of you for sharing your feelings with us here ❤️❤️
