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twm
10,619 M Pacing Forward 4
PathStep 40 Compassion hearts1,348 Forum posts117 Forum upvotes140 Current upvotes140 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2023 Member sinceFebruary 8, 2020
Recent forum posts
Doctor withholding diagnosis
Personality Disorders Support / by twm
Last post
 May 25th, 2021
...See more Do some doctors or health networks still refuse to diagnose people with BPD or refuse to inform patients or treat them when they think that is the case? There is lots of published literature documenting this practice, and it has been discouraged more recently based on legal and ethical arguments but I wonder if it still happens. They list various reasons for doing this but they all serve to protect the doctors and providers more than the patient. Does anyone know?
a problem I don't know how to fix
Personality Disorders Support / by twm
Last post
 October 18th, 2020
...See more I have a problem that I don't know how to fix. I have a friend - at first we were friends, then we kind of had a friend crush on each other, and then I wouldn't call it love, but we did develop some kind of feelings for each other. It would never work as a "relationship" for lots of reasons that are totally obvious to both of us. But I care a lot about her. I want her to be happy and to have a nice life, and it doesn't matter if I'm in it or not. And I think she knows that's what she has to do and mostly we don't interact with each other anymore, and I don't try to contact her even though I could. But every few months she does reach out for whatever reason, and it turns out that we both think a lot about each other. On one hand, I don't want her to reach out and then have me tell her that, sorry, she's on her own. But on the other hand, I don't know if it's actually helpful being there to just to let her know that she's doing okay and that I actually have confidence in her ability to figure stuff out (because I do), because maybe she needs to somehow forget about me. But I care a lot about her... I never planned to feel this way and I don't want to feel this way and it's not fair to other people that I feel this way and I don't know how to stop it. And I guess I've been doing a lot of kind of unhealthy things to stop feeling anything about it and I kind of wish I was not here anymore because it would be better for everybody.
How to help a friend?
Personality Disorders Support / by twm
Last post
 April 13th, 2020
...See more I am really miserable right now because I have a friend who says they were diagnosed with BPD and yeah, they're probably right, but it's just really hard being their friend. Everything I say just seems wrong - maybe I should just shut up. The thing is I really care about them and I worry about them but I also worry I'm just annoying them. So I don't know whether anyone on the receiving end of this sort of thing has any advice. I've been told some things that I need to try to remember, but it's still not easy. I know I can't fix anything. I know I can't make them a complete person. I don't think I'm doing this for my own self-validation. I really care about them but everything is just hard. So yeah. Sigh. Maybe if I made like a set of instructions or a checklist people could give feedback on whether it might be on track and then it could get refined and fixed up and made better until it might actually be useful. idk. Or maybe something like that is already out there somewhere.
Not ready to recover?
Self-Harm Recovery / by twm
Last post
 May 10th, 2020
...See more I've been confused for a long time. This is supposed to be bad but I honestly don't want to give it up. One counselor asked if it helped and I had to say yes, but still - it's not like this is something I would wish on anyone else. And realistically, what can anyone say or do to change anything? Doctors just seem to want to avoid any discussion and then suggest trying rubber bands which seems so naive. I had to get stitches recently and they were all concerned and stuff but beyond the technical aspects of fixing me up, there's nothing they can do, obviously. I don't count the days I'm clean anymore. The biggest disincentive is someone finding out but that just gets frustrating. So anyway, where am I supposed to go from here? People say it doesn't have to be something you live with for the rest of your life, but idk...
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