Self-Harm Recovery Weekly Check In: Saturday October 5th, 2019
Hey amazing community!
What are the highs and lows of the day?
What is something youre currently working on to grow within yourself?
Do you have some self-care planned for today?
Being a work in progress is perfectly okay!! No one is perfect or doing everything right and having an opportunity to learn and grow is amazing. You are great for being here and taking the step to recovery and that is a huge achievement!
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@bear228 hi.
What are the highs and lows of the day?
Low is that my IPhone has gone crazy and I have to restore my phone, which means that all my pictures of my dead horse will be deleted, and I am actually crying about this. I have tried everything (hard reboot and all) but nothing seems to work. I don't know what to do. I really feel like self harming. That horse meant everything to me, and I don't have the pictures anywere else 
I don't see any highs of my day right now though. I just wanna cry and self harm.
What is something youre currently working on to grow within yourself?
Nothing really. I have learned stuff about myself lately that was really good to know. About what stresses me, and why I got depressed with my new job (that I have just quit). Hopefully I will find another job that works better for me. I'm working on finding out how to have a job, but not get depressed or stressed out.
Do you have some self-care planned for today?
I really wanna take a bubblebath at some point.
@EvilRegalsReadToo
Hello there, I'm really sorry to hear about your phone and horse. I've also had to delete everything off my phone and lose important photos. I'm sorry about your loss, I'm sure your horse meant a lot to you.
Hey there @EvilRegalsReadToo *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is always really nice to hear from you around here! 
Aww, that sounds really tough. I mean just your iPhone going crazy like that can be pretty annoying on it's own but losing such important pictures is surely tough. Although, and I do not want to give false hope here, but there might be ways to restore it, although most likely neither of them being cheap. I mean, it is a whole lot of technical mumbo-jumbo but if you "format" something by default the data usually does not necessarily get's deleted but only the location of the data, where it is stored. Of course, it is usually not easy to restore data like this and not even always possible but given how sensitive the data is, it might worth a try :)
I am also sorry to hear about that job. I know that you have really liked it when you have just started out a few weeks ago but, of course, sometimes once you get to know something better it may just start to show it's ugly side. I do hope that you will find a better job next time and you will be able to balance it out with your personal life and mental health :)
A bubble bath sounds really nice for self-care tho! :)
Stay strong and awesome!
@redmark thank you so much! I could do what you said, but I gave the phone another chance, after buing a new one, and it appeares as it has made a copy of the content in my phone in September, so I was able to safe my horse pictures
These last couple of days have been pretty uneventful in a good way. Wednesday was the last time I SHd, so I'm not off it very long right now.
I'm always trying to be better at understanding what I want and what I can do to achieve it, and trying to not sabotage myself
Hey there @Madaraismyspiritanimal *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is always really nice to hear from you around here!
I am glad to hear that you have got a calm week like that where you have got some time for yourself to just recharge and I am also glad to hear that you have not SHed for a while now, every single step matters, no matter how small or big it may be. :)
I think it is really important to just really take your time to get to know and understand yourself although it can be a really tough task for sure. I am glad to hear that you are making progress with that tho :)
Stay awesome!
@Madaraismyspiritanimal I think it is really great that you are trying to establish a deeper connection with yourself, your wishes and needs. Well done :)
@bear228 hi. I'm so fucking stupid. Just self harmed. My mom said that "it was just my sick brain" and I kind of exploded in her head, and went to self harm...
Hey there @EvilRegalsReadToo *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is always really nice to have you here with us!
I do not think that you are stupid. I mean, it does sound really tough to hear something from someone like that, someone like your mother. Self-harm is a coping mechanism, not a healthy one but it is one and all you have done was just trying to cope with all that has just happened with. I mean, of course, the point is to find and develop better, healthier coping mecahnisms but when you are triggered just like that it is hard to think things through.
I mean,I really just want you to know that you are not alone in this and it is okay if you have self-harmed, just take good care of the wound for now and just try to take your time now to recover a bit. :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark Thank you very much. I'm really trying :3
@EvilRegalsReadToo
I am really sorry you heard that. Those are very painful and upsetting words. I understand your reaction, I don't think you should feel stupid at all. As redmark says, self-harming was your response to try and cope in a very difficult moment. Try to be compassionate towards yourself if you can, just as you would be with a friend of yours. Hugs for you if it's ok
High: Homecomeing is this week
Lows: Homecoming is this week
that is because sure it's fun to get all dressed up and hang out with friends, but I end up being ditched halfway through and now having anyone to talk to, and just kind of end up being the awkward person that not everyone actually likes.
I am working on trying to feel less..................numb. and there is no self care planed today, because it's a buiy day and ya.
Hey there @porter2927 *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is always really nice to hear from you around here!
Oh...Homecoming sounds pretty exciting and also anxious at the same time.
I mean, sure, it is always fun to just fancy yourself a bit and pick some nice dress and just enjoy the event but of course, I know that there is a lot of pressure as well coming with these events. I mean, I just hope that you will have a nice home-coming and you will got to enjoy yourself and the company of your friends. :)
I do hope that you will get some time for yourself soon and you will be able to practice some self-care. It certainly is tough to feel numb like that so I hope you will be able to recharge a little bit soon :)
Stay strong and awesome!
I want to reach out but im tired, ive been through so much that its going to really take a unique person to u derstand who i am and what ive been through. Ive tried to sort it out and tell my story for 15 years but its so incomprehensible that most people just cant believe it. It took me years to wrap my brain around it too, so i understand. Ive run out of gas trying to fix the unfixable, my will is trying hard to leave my body. 7 suicides in my family, betrayal, then more betrayal, self harm, incarceration, loss, health problems, financially challenged. Thats all i have the energy to say today. Thanks for listening
@humorousDay8793
Hi self, no matter where you go, there i am. Trying to head toward the light, but not feeling alright, no strength to fight, happiness is nowhere in sight. If i may n if i might, asking for help and so polite, answers close but not quite,
@humorousDay8793 hi there. I have just read both of your posts. I am sorry to hear you went through so much, your pain is very much alive and tangibile. I hope that sharing it here with us will help you a little bit. I am sitting here with you.
@admaiorasemper
Thank very.much for sitting here with me, i know its plain to see my pain, the confussion is so plain, trapped inside my brain, thanks for heariig what im saying, with my words playing, must seem insain, but i may only be delaying, times clock is beating, thoughts fleeting, i feel defeated, and ive bleeded, been mistreated, and ive pleaded and pleaded for the help ive needed, online reading and reading, looking for life's meaning.
I cant find assistance, thetes so much resistance, ive showed my persistance from a distance, but nobody listens, they judge and are dissin, im stuck in the prison. Looking for help like im fishing, i hope pray and im wishing, thanks so much for sitting, it does help me, i admit it
I wanted to see how you are, but your account has been deleted... I still hope you will read this. Please reach out if you need help, I am here to listen to you
@admaiorasemper
Hi, I just read your statement
After I contimplated
I just reactivated
I get so complicated
Or my thoughts start fading
😊 Im ok today, so i'll be here waiting
I hope you will reactivate your account again, please do not restrain.
Hmm not sure about this rhyme. English is not my mother tongue so it is very difficult. Seriously though, I hope you can feel supported here.
Hey there @humorousDay8793 *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
We are really glad to have you here with us!
It does sound like you have been through some really tough things. I do want you to know that you are not alone here tho. At least I can promise that I would be glad to listen if you would ever feel like sharing. No pressure of course. :)
Going through all that....I cannot even imagine how hard it might have been for you but if there is anything we may be able to help you with or you would really just want to vent you are always welome here :)
Stay strong and awesome!