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Madaraismyspiritanimal
6,284 M Moving Along 3
PathStep 184 Compassion hearts90 Forum posts735 Forum upvotes1,367 Current upvotes1,367 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2022 Member sinceAugust 17, 2019
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Sorry, random thoughts, move if necessary
Journals & Diaries / by Madaraismyspiritanimal
Last post
 March 16th, 2020
...See more OMG, I just tasted one of the worst things in my life, one of my pills, had the worst factors possible. 1. Terrible taste, like if you take a grapefruit and just have the bitter taste remaining, 2. Stickiness, it stuck to the inside of my mouth multiple times making me taste it longer, 3. Powdery, falling apart in my mouth enough to not get rinsed out, even after rinsing multiple times, and 4. The after taste lingers for 10+ minutes. Once again, sorry this is random, but had to get it out of my system to be able to sleep
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Red marker
Self-Harm Recovery / by Madaraismyspiritanimal
Last post
 February 23rd, 2020
...See more Recently, I've bought a red marker, to experiment if drawing on myself instead of SH would satisfy those urges. This morning I gave it a try, feeling really lonely, having moderate urges to SH. I drew on the arm I usually do it on, trying to mimic SH. And the urges went away enough to not feel the need to SH. I think it worked cause the urge wasn't that strong and I was able to still think clearly.
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[trigger warning]
Depression Support / by Madaraismyspiritanimal
Last post
 February 2nd, 2020
...See more I dont want or can live another day of my god awful life... [title edited by Anomalia for triggering content - please take a look at the crisis resources here 7cups.com/crisis [https://www.7cups.com/crisis]]
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Finding enjoyment
Self-Harm Recovery / by Madaraismyspiritanimal
Last post
 January 31st, 2020
...See more Not sure if it belongs here, but keep noticing I can enjoy anything I'm doing, I just do stuff I can tolerate to do for 5 to 10 minutes Only thing I vaguely enjoy is cooking and I can't do that all day every day At best I'm constantly jumping back and for between activities. And at worst I get so fed up with it just start breaking stuff and self harm. I don't know where to start to find something I can truly have fun with
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Approaching the guy I'm interested in...
Relationship Stress / by Madaraismyspiritanimal
Last post
 September 11th, 2020
...See more A couple of months ago, I met someone online, we talked a bunch and shared pretty personal and emotional stuff back and forth. After a couple weeks of getting to know each other and expressing pretty explicitly we were into each other, we talked about meeting up. Long story short, after a couple of hiccups, we met and talked for hours and listened to music. So far so good. But in the time following I wasn't doing so well, dealing with depression and all that fun stuff. Between saying we'd meet up again but not showing up and deleting his (and most other people's) contact info in an emotional state, I feel like I've treated him pretty badly. Since I didn't have his contact info anymore, I couldn't get in touch to say sorry or anything. Untill today I saw him online again, on the app I first met him. I want to talk to him again, but don't know how and what to say.
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