Self-Harm Recovery Daily Check-In: Tuesday, June 30th, 2020
Hey SHR family! Its Tooooosday! Which means were at an impasse. The week has already started, and some of us may feel like its too late to decide how our week is going to go. But I disagree! Were not even halfway through yet! Today I wanted to talk a bit about how we view ourselves, and how that compares to how we view others. Self-love!
I have noticed, and Im sure you all have as well, that we are often our worst critics. There can be several reasons for this. Perhaps it is because others have been unkind to us, and so we feel like that is how we should treat ourselves. Or maybe we focus on our flaws and assign a value that is out of proportion to them. A lot of the time, we can be our own greatest challenge in our recovery journey.
So I want to put this into perspective. Why do we treat others with patience, compassion, and care that we dont allow for ourselves? And I know how many of us respond to that question: because I dont matter; because I dont deserve it. Oh, but why? How is it that among nearly 8 billion people, you are the only one who doesnt deserve kindness? It makes no logical sense!
No matter how others treat you, it is difficult —I would even be bold enough to use the word ‘impossible —to be content with yourself until you treat yourself with the patience, compassion, and care you deserve.
The saying goes, treat others how you would like to be treated. I propose a continuation to that : "and treat yourself how you treat others.
Feel free to answer the check-in questions below →
1. What is one thing you wish could happen today? Can you make it happen? If yes, how? If no, why?
2. In your opinion and experience, what makes people treat themselves differently than how they treat others?
3. If you sometimes treat yourself unkindly, how has this impacted your self-harm recovery journey?
4. What are some ways we can practice self-love? What works for you?
5. What is one song that brings back a good memory? Could you share that lovely memory with us?
I'm excited to read your responses! Take care!
Tagging the community!
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@RiverHudson1
1. What is one thing you wish could happen today? Can you make it happen? If yes, how? If no, why?
I wish it could be tomorrow! Unfortunately, I can't make that happen 🙁
2. In your opinion and experience, what makes people treat themselves differently than how they treat others?
I think that we see ourselves at every high and low that we experience (especially the lows) wherein other people we see a lot of the highs rather than the lows. So then we think "wow they're so much better since they don't have these lows" when in reality we just don't see other people's struggles.
3. If you sometimes treat yourself unkindly, how has this impacted your self-harm recovery journey?
I think this idea of not being good enough to recover is present a lot, I have definitely thought that I "deserve" to SH because I'm such a bad person.
4. What are some ways we can practice self-love? What works for you?
I like to take time off of 7cups for self-love, it's a reminder that I need to focus on myself too! I also like to do yoga.
5. What is one song that brings back a good memory? Could you share that lovely memory with us?
Can't stop the feeling by Justin Timberlake brings me back to an a Cappella memory where we performed for a hockey game, but we danced ridiculously and we all still know the moves
@24Help1
Hey!! *pretends it's still Tuesday*
Good morning, Mary! I hope today is full of compassion, creativity, care, and tons of cups of coffee. You deserve it. 
(and is that enough alliteration for ya?) Now I see why you were wishing for Wednesday, new exciting project! It's so incredibly organized and ambitious! How are you feeling about the whole thing? I love what you wrote, that makes so much sense! We see all of our lows, while others only see a percentage, so it's understandable to feel like we're doing something wrong or something of the sort. Thank you for sharing that! *hugs* I get that as I struggled with that belief/though too, it can be this feeling of "who cares anyway?". Sometimes self-harm can be a way to punish ourselves, and no one deserves that. Taking time off Cups is a smart move, it can definitely help us reflect. Yoga!! Fun! Awh, that song, and that sounds like a great memory. I love that you all still know the moves lol.
Thank you for checking in, best wishes from me!
Hello, hello!!
1. What is one thing you wish could happen today? Can you make it happen? If yes, how? If no, why?
I wish I couldve studied a bit more today, but I was totally out of mood and felt so terrible that I ended up couldnt do anything else. Its already time for me to sleep, so Ill try again tomorrow :)
2. In your opinion and experience, what makes people treat themselves differently than how they treat others?
We treat ourselves differently because we are hyperaware of our own flaws, thus this extra awareness may make us feel our flaws are too massive and unforgivable, and that we are worthy of ‘punishment. Besides, we arent able to see ourselves from other peoples eyes. We arent able to really *see* ourselves (as in reality, not photographs) when we are excited about something we are passionate about, how we smile when we kindly help someone, how gentle our eyes look when we are comforting a friend...
3. If you sometimes treat yourself unkindly, how has this impacted your self-harm recovery journey?
It often ends up in a relapse. I often self-depreciate and that almost always ends up in a strong urge to hurt myself.
4. What are some ways we can practice self-love? What works for you?
I think one integral part in practicing self-love is self-care. You can start small by simply not hurting yourself and try to divert negative thoughts about yourself to neutral, or even better positive thoughts! Self-love is also about prioritizing your needs, so maybe you can practice self-love by avoiding things that make you feel uncomfortable, for example ^^
Personally, I keep a gallery of screenshots of nice things people have said to/about me online, be it a compliment or encouragement. I also keep a box of gifts and cards my friends gave me. I go through them when Im feeling like Im hating myself. They make me feel so loved and remembered, and they make me realize that I should also love and remember myself :)
5. What is one song that brings back a good memory? Could you share that lovely memory with us?
In elementary school, I used to watch an anime called Mermaid Melody. There are a bunch of songs in the show, but the theme song makes me feel so nostalgic because a good friend (who is still friends with me until now) and I used to listen or sing to it all the time while talking about the show - sometimes even during class! xD
thanks for the check-in! Everyone take care >w<
@RiverHudson1
1. What is one thing you wish could happen today? Can you make it happen? If yes, how? If no, why?
I wish I could be on the ice but sadly that's still impossible. But I akso 1. What is one thing you wish could happen today? Can you make it happen? If yes, how? If no, why?
2. In your opinion and experience, what makes people treat themselves differently than how they treat others?
3. If you sometimes treat yourself unkindly, how has this impacted your self-harm recovery journey?
4. What are some ways we can practice self-love? What works for you?
5. What is one song that brings back a good memory? Could you share that lovely memory with us?
for love, an I'm hanging with some friends today
3. If you sometimes treat yourself unkindly, how has this impacted your self-harm recovery journey?
most self-harm starts with negative self talk
4. What are some ways we can practice self-love? What works for you?
being around people who feed you positive stories
5. What is one song that brings back a good memory? Could you share that lovely memory with us?
Let's Go by Cartel I taught English in the Czech Republic one summer. We played this song every morning
@RiverHudson1
1. What is one thing you wish could happen today? Can you make it happen? If yes, how? If no, why?
Well it's nighttime now but I wanted to draw and decided against it.
2. In your opinion and experience, what makes people treat themselves differently than how they treat others?
My personal experience I'm hard on myself I want to be the best person I can be and I have low self esteem. I don't want to treat people the way I treat myself it would be unfair and mean, but I'm slowly getting better.
3. If you sometimes treat yourself unkindly, how has this impacted your self-harm recovery journey?
My family treated me unkindly and I ended up relapsing because of a fight with my mom and then my dad called me and yelled at me for 16 minutes and I had a huge anxiety attack and next thing I knew I relapsed. Normally I can handle being treated unkindly hurts a little but I brush it off.
4. What are some ways we can practice self-love? What works for you?
I watch youtube, cuddle my dog or husband, draw, color, watch tv, listen to music and reach out on here!
5. What is one song that brings back a good memory? Could you share that lovely memory with us?
The middle by Jimmy Eats The World when I was in elementary school me and my friend (we are still friends) played that same song on guitar hero for 4 hours straight and we had so much fun we thought it was only 30mins to an hour lol! So now everytime I hear that song it reminds me of that. 
1. What is one thing you wish could happen today? Can you make it happen? If yes, how? If no, why?
Finish my last thing before bed (40 mins of work). Yes. By starting soon :)
2. In your opinion and experience, what makes people treat themselves differently than how they treat others?
Internalized interference... And negative self-talk. Unless they are I'm ok, you're not ok people. In which case, I totally don't relate, so who knows what got them there :)
3. If you sometimes treat yourself unkindly, how has this impacted your self-harm recovery journey?
I think internalized statements about value(lesnness) of myself are really the sine qua non condition of SH, for me. I'm trying to recognize and retrain. It seems like bushwhacking in the rainforest sometimes though.
4. What are some ways we can practice self-love? What works for you?
Sleeping and setting boundaries (mostly saying no). You're not obliged to set yourself on fire to keep others warm.
5. What is one song that brings back a good memory? Could you share that lovely memory with us?
When I was 14-15 or so, and on camp with my sister and a bunch of other people. A group of the younger teenagers (including myself) made mushroom hats out of lampshades (which we painted) and danced around to the Danse Chinoise from Tchaikovsky's The Nutcracker https://youtu.be/BRnyO2cJ9Po or as we called it "The Mushroom dance". We choreographed and performed the dance of the mushrooms from Disney's Fantasia. We worked really hard, and took it pretty seriously. We were all too old for that sort of thing really, but we didn't care. I had long-since lost my innocence, but looking back it feels like a corner of my adolescence bathed in light, a corner inwhich I was still something like a child.