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Building self-esteem: Value clarification

Hope January 23rd

Hey Everyone, I hope you are doing well. In the past week, we talked about working on our self-esteem using the FAST method. One of the most important points of the fast method is sticking to your values. But some of us may not know what values to stick to, not everyone has reflected on this. If you are a religious person, you will likely know what values matter to you and they are typically rooted in your beliefs. But if you don’t believe in some specific way of living, you may need to reflect on the values that matter to you and this post will help you do so. 

Welcome to the world of understanding core values! These are the fundamental beliefs and principles that guide our decisions, define our priorities, and ultimately fuel our self-esteem. Think of them as your internal compass, pointing you towards a life that feels authentic and fulfilling.

So, what do core values look like? They're not always grand or flashy goals. They can be simple things like:

  • Honesty: Always wanting to be truthful and upfront, even when it's tough.
  • Kindness: Showing compassion and care towards others, big and small.
  • Creativity: Embracing your unique ways of thinking and expressing yourself.
  • Adventure: Seeking out new experiences and challenges to grow and learn.
  • Balance: Making time for what matters most – work, relationships, and personal well-being.
  • Remember, your core values are YOURS. They are what makes you, you!

But how do you get in touch with these hidden gems? Here are a few tips:

  • Introspection Time: Take some quiet moments to reflect. Ask yourself: What truly brings me joy? What makes me feel proud? What stands out as important to me, even when things get tough?
  • Life Audit: Examine your choices and habits. Do they align with your gut feeling of what's right? Does your everyday life reflect your priorities?
  • Values in Action: Think about situations where you felt strongly, either positive or negative. What values were at play? This can reveal hidden priorities you may not have noticed.
  • Seek Inspiration: Read biographies, watch movies, or talk to people you admire. How do their values shape their lives? See if any resonate with you.

To help you further explore the values that truly matter to you, we will do a short exercise. Reflect on the following values

  1. Integrity: Doing the right thing, even when it's hard.
  2. Empathy: Feeling what others feel and caring deeply.
  3. Gratitude: Appreciating what you have and saying thank you.
  4. Resilience: Bouncing back from challenges and never giving up.
  5. Curiosity: Asking questions and wanting to learn more.
  6. Humility: Knowing your limits and valuing others' contributions.
  7. Sustainability: Caring for the planet and living responsibly.
  8. Authenticity: Being true to yourself and living with purpose.
  9. Collaboration: Working together and achieving shared goals.
  10. Accountability: Taking responsibility for your actions.
  11. Passion: Chasing what ignites your soul.
  12. Open-mindedness: Embracing different perspectives and ideas.

Activity: Sort the above-mentioned 12 values into three piles, the values that are most important, those that are important and the ones that are least important. You can leave out the definitions when sorting, they are there just to help you understand what each value means

Participation in the activity is required for those who are working towards the braving self badge and intend to complete the entire series. 

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This post is part of the Building Self-esteem series! You can find all the posts of the series linked here. 

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Hope OP January 23rd

Tagging everyone who signed up for the tag-list!

@Proudme @YourCaringConfidant @SleepyPersonForever @Aputik @Suen00 @exuberantBlackberry9105 @koko263 @LoveMyMoonflowers @theboymoana @gettingbettertoday @KateDoskocilova @mytwistedsoul @Ania @Kristynsmama @tidyHickory3283 @orangish @Zeraphim @pandanfe @Wayward7Good7Intentions @Fuechsin @proudme @Clarisse29 @Rui00 @communicativePond1728  @cautiousVixen @HealingGriz @keeperofhearts @CordialDancer @NaomiF08

Join/leave the tag list by submitting this form

4 replies
tidyHickory3283 January 29th

@Hope

It was quite tough. All of them are important but I knew I shouldn’t list all of them in most important. I could only manage to convince myself to add 1 in least important 

  1. Gratitude: Most Important 
  2. Resilience: Most important 
  3. Humility: Most important 
  4. Sustainability: Most Important 
  5. Authenticity: Most Important 
  6. Accountability: Most important 
  7. Open-mindedness: Most important 
  8. Integrity: Important 
  9. Empathy: Important 
  10. Collaboration: Important 
  11. Passion: Important 
  12. Curiosity: Least Important 

3 replies
tidyHickory3283 January 29th

@tidyHickory3283

Replied under the tag list by mistake 🤦🏻‍♀️ 

Hope OP January 30th

@tidyHickory3283

That is okay! The goal is to reflect on the importance of these values. It is okay if they all are important but the categories can help you prioritize one over the other if need be 

1 reply
tidyHickory3283 January 30th

@Hope

True!

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Zeraphim January 23rd

It seems to me that they're all incredibly important, so this is a challenge of devaluation for me, more than anything. I don't necessarily feel comfortable with completing the task being asked as I wouldn't normally rank values like this. Nevertheless, I will participate for the sake of completing the badge.

Most important

Authenticity
Empathy
Integrity
Open-mindedness

Important

Curiosity
Accountability
Sustainability
Collaboration

Least important

Gratitude
Humility
Passion
Resilience

1 reply
Hope OP January 26th

@Zeraphim

Thank you for participating!

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YourCaringConfidant January 23rd

@Hope Well this assignment made me think. Here are my values sorted from most important to least important. I would like to make note that the values under the category of least important are not necessarily not important to me. It just means they ranked lower compared to the others. I would say though that the ones in my most important category is fairly accurate with passion being my #1 one.

20240123-051008-0000_1706004796.png

4 replies
Kristynsmama January 23rd

@YourCaringConfidant

super cute graphic!

cautiousVixen January 23rd

@YourCaringConfidant

I love how you represented them as jars! That's adorable!

lamimoon January 25th

@YourCaringConfidant

I love this! Thank you for sharing!!

Hope OP January 26th

@YourCaringConfidant

What a beautiful graphic. Thank you for sharing!

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Kristynsmama January 23rd

@Hope

oh I love this activity.  It’s hard to pick a few as my top core values because I think they are all important values.

  1. Integrity: most
  2. Empathy: most
  3. Gratitude: most
  4. Resilience:  important
  5. Curiosity: least 
  6. Humility: important 
  7. Sustainability: least
  8. Authenticity: most
  9. Collaboration: important 
  10. Accountability: most
  11. Passion: most
  12. Open-mindedness: important 

4 replies
YourCaringConfidant January 23rd

@Kristynsmama I was reading how you ranked your values and noticed you only mentioned 2 as least important. I don't know why I automatically assumed that in each category I was forced to put 4 in each. There was no mention that it had to be so why I thought it, I have no idea. 🤣 I am enjoying reading everyone's responses as I get to see just how different we all are. ♡ 

2 replies
cautiousVixen January 23rd

@YourCaringConfidant

Reading everyone's responses is quite curious, indeed! It goes to show that all of us seem to have different values that we deem more important than others.

1 reply
lamimoon January 25th

@cautiousVixen

Yes, I agree. I love to observe this type of things, because it just shows how we as humans are so different and all beauty is in this.

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Hope OP January 26th

@Kristynsmama

They all can be important but the exercise helps us to reflect on them with more depth

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Gettingbettertoday January 23rd

@Hope

This is the best I could do. It doesn't seem to represent me but I could not find a combination that did.


High

Authenticity

Accountability

Collaboration

Humility

 

Med

Integrity

Resilience

Curiosity

Open-mindedness

 

LOW

Empathy

Gratitude

Passion

Sustainability

1 reply
Hope OP January 26th

@Gettingbettertoday

That is okay! I am glad you tried. 

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KatePersephone January 23rd

@Hope

Empathy

Open-mindedness

Gratitude

Passion


Humility

Authenticity

Accountability

Collaboration


Resilience

Integrity

Sustainability

Curiosity

2 replies
Hope OP January 26th

@KateDoskocilova

Thank you for participating! I am guessing you have ranked them from most to least important?

1 reply
KatePersephone January 26th

@Hope yes!

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CordialDancer January 23rd

This was hard for me as these are all important to me. Here are my three piles! 

Most Important:

Integrity

Authenticity

Empathy

Curiosity


Important:

Humility

Accountability

Resilience

Passion


Least Important:

Sustainability

Open-mindedness

Gratitude

Collaboration

1 reply
Hope OP January 26th

@CordialDancer

Thank you for sharing with us!

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cautiousVixen January 23rd

@Hope

I needed quite a bit of back and forth and time in between to really sort those into each category. However, now I think I'm quite happy with how it turned out. It helped me to gain quite a bit of an understanding of why I was thinking and acting the way I did in some recent situations.

Most important

  • Empathy

  • Passion

  • Sustainability

  • Open-mindedness

Important

  • Integrity

  • Gratitude

  • Humility

  • Curiosity

Least important

  • Authenticity

  • Collaboration

  • Accountability

  • Resilience

1 reply
Hope OP January 26th

@cautiousVixen

I am glad it was helpful! Thank you for participating in the exercise. 

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HealingGriz January 24th

I have done quite a bit of values work in the past, but I think I gravitated towards certain ones because those are the values I was "supposed to" have. So, I am using a new lense this time. How do these values jive with what's important in safe environments where I feel most myself?


Most Important

Empathy

Curiosity

Humility

Open-Mindedness

Integrity


Important

Authenticity

Collaboration

Accountability

Passion


Least Important

Sustainability

Gratitude

Resilience


Thanks for this brain teaser.

1 reply
Hope OP January 26th

@HealingGriz

I like the new lens. I think it is helpful to do the exercise from a different lens. 

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mytwistedsoul January 24th

@Hope

This took some time to work out. A person's values can change. What's important to them  now might not be the same when they're older 

MOST IMPORTANT -

authenticity 

curiosity 

passion

resilience

accountability

integrity


IMPORTANT -

empathy 

open mindedness 

humility

gratitude

sustainability


LEAST IMPORTANT - 

collaboration 


1 reply
Hope OP January 26th

@mytwistedsoul

You make a good point about the values changing and even shifting from one category to another

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