Does anyone else find Christianity depressing?
I am only a Christian because I believe God told me to read the gospels. Before that, I was repulsed by the religion, especially for it being against sexualities, which I took as threats to my identity. But those aren't the only things I have trouble coming to terms with about Christianity.
If you mess up in your current life, you will be miserable forever. I don't think human beings can grasp the severity of eternal punishment. If you're miserable forever, your suffering might outweigh that of the entire situation. It might outweigh all the suffering that has ever taken place on Earth. It might outweigh all the suffering that's ever happened in the universe and so on. And it might all be because of finite sins you committed because you were not fully matured in your faith.
God could let you learn from your mistakes and continue maturing in the afterlife, eventually earning a place in Heaven. If you aren’t able live up to his standards, you might suffer punishment for your sins.
The Bible condemns homosexuality for its own reason. Now I'm afraid to have a same sex partner, and I worry about other same-sex-attracted people in my life and the world. I'm not willing to date the opposite sex because I don't want to get pregnant. So I'm probably going to be lonely for the rest of my life.
As a Christian, I live in perpetual fear of sinning and being judged by God. Little decisions have become big decisions. I second guess myself every day.
I don't understand people who get comfort from this religion. It weighs on me like a backpack full of bricks.
@TheMisfit If being a Christian is that rough for you, then I'm not sure why you still believe in the creed & consider Yeshua (Jesus) as divine. If you absolutely must worship a deity of some kind, you don't necessarily have to do so via the established religions.
@slowdecline48
I believe God told me to read the gospels, and that makes me scared he endorses Christianity
Something you might want to consider: In every religion--yes, every last one--you'll find people who will swear that God/Jesus/the mother goddess/the Universe/the Divine/etc. told them to do something. There are Jews out there who, if you asked them, would tell you that the god of Abraham desires that they do what they do. Judaism does not recognize any claims of divinity or status for Jesus, so observant Jews don't recognize them either. Ditto for Muslims; though they see Jesus as a legitimate prophet, to them he is not some special "son of God". There are Muslims who would make the same claim that you made, but for their religion.
Edited Sept 30, 2023
@TheMisfit What I'm trying to tell you is that this problem is not as unsolvable as it might seem. You're seeing it while enmeshed in it. No surprise there since we all see our own issues that way. But as an outsider, I've seen Christianity in a few different modes...not all of them emphasize sin & God's judgment. Jonathan Edwards does not have the last word on the nature of God & old Yeshua. The verses condemning homosexuality are only a tiny part of the whole Bible...it's as much a question of emphasis or selection as anything else.
You also don't have to be a Christian, period. Many people are "spiritual but not religious". They seek the divine without all the scriptural & doctrinal baggage. No reason why you can't do the same, if it would make you feel better.
@TheMisfit I am sorry that you feel so ambivalent about your faith and how that restricts your lifestyle. That mus feel very unsettling.
I see religion not as a package that you have to accept everything the religious texts say as literal fact. Sometimes the Bible speaks to me as an analogy. The Old Testament was very rules oriented and some of the apostles like Paul wrote some very strong rules as well that I do not connect with. On the other hand, the Four Gospels talk about loving your neighbor and not reacting in anger and vengeance. It encourages an open discussion between all socioeconomic classes and it implies that we all can rise into a higher region of being.
Forgiveness of oneself and others is the message of the Four Gospels. So how do I resolve these contradictions in the texts that say differently? Firstly, I do not take everything at face value but try to understand what the intent of the writer was and the condition of the people was they were addressing. Each of the books in the religious texts was written by different authors who wrote from their own viewpoint and beliefs.
So what I glean from my studies of the Christian religion is there is a lot of good in it. It says to live an ethical life, care for other people in need, do not abandon these essential qualities for a happy life in exchange for only self centered worldly gain.
Everyone can choose their faith. No one dictates what they must believe in. What I fear is mindlessly doing destructive actions that will color my life so instead I cultivate ethical living and kindness and compassion and helping those in need.
I ask myself if people that live only for themselves and personal gain are really happy. The richest people I know are either concerned about building up their image, getting more for themselves and or protect what they have from being lost and they keep doing those things over and over again. To me these are the actions I need fear.
If on the other hand I live my life trying to do the best I can to benefit others, even if it is just saying nice things to them, I feel like I am already living in a better place right now. What happens after we dies no one is an authority until they die and so we can only listen to the wisest people we can find to see what guidance they have for us.
What I found is encouraging and kind, compassionate and wise about the kind of relationships to have. Those just seeking physical release really do not have much to offer in the long term. To me a relationship with anyone male or female that is devoid of compassion and kindness and civility is not really fulfilling. So whatever kind of relationship you have, choose wisely someone that cares about you deeply. If they do not want to first be a friend before starting the romance, maybe they are thinking more of themselves than of you.
I hope you find some peace on your questions you raise.
@soulsings Loving this answer it is so full of practical wisdom!! Thanks for writing it!!
Hello @TheMisfit ! I am so sorry to hear about the spiritual struggle you're going through. I hope you will find better clarity and joy soon. As someone who also believes in God and Christ and has also struggled with doubts, I'm going to give my personal opinion about some of your concerns. If it doesn't help you find joy or clarity, please ignore it!
Firstly, I would just like to propose that God's will for you to read the gospels might not imply that you must adhere to everything the Church preaches or even every detail of the gospels themselves. "Take and read" (which was also St Augustine's revelation!) could be a much more open command. Perhaps God wanted you to receive the message of salvation in the gospels and to reflect on it for yourself.
Secondly, I'd like to suggest that some of the dogmas that worry you could be less clear than you think. For me, the idea of purgatory implies that we might still repent of our sins after death. (I know purgatory itself is denied by some denominations, but for me personally it was worth paying attention to and I found that it helped me to interpret it as a state of understanding, repentance and purification, rather than a place of suffering.)
I hope it's okay to say that I don't think there is an undeniable condemnation of homosexuality in scripture. Homosexuality is not a word in the Bible and if it appears in a copy, it tends to reflect the translator's subjective rwading. Even so, I believe that the passages that have sometimes been interpreted as condemning of same sex relationships are not in the gospels, but in the old testament or in Paul's letters (which are not the texts you received revelation about). Correct me if I'm wrong, but I also don't think the gospels themselves have anything to say about contraception.
If your worry stems from the teachings of a Church, just remember that no Church has remained constant in all of its original teachings. To me, that suggests that the teachings of the Church are not infallible or direct revelations of God. The only teaching that has always been key is the belief and love of God and His Son Jesus Christ, as well as the commandment to love others as you would yourself.
I know these considerations have helped me come to terms with my doubts about some dogmas of the church and even some passages of scripture. I hope they help. Best wishes on your spiritual journey!
