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TheMisfit
19,366 M Progress Road 8
PathStep 11 Compassion hearts388 Forum posts19 Forum upvotes40 Current upvotes40 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2024 Member sinceMay 25, 2014
Recent forum posts
I realized I'd do evil things to get into Heaven
Religion & Spirituality / by TheMisfit
Last post
 November 13th, 2023
...See more Which ironically might mean I'm too evil to go there. I'm supporting a cause I hate because I think God wants me to. It makes me sick when I think of the implications. People are going to suffer so much. I'm mainly doing it so I won't be miserable forever in ***. I don't know what I wouldn't do to get into Heaven. It seems
Why do people have to be mean when they debate?
General Support / by TheMisfit
Last post
 October 30th, 2023
...See more Debate is supposed to be a team effort to figure out what's true. Instead, people act like you're attacking them personally. They get angry and rude, especially on the internet. I asked a couple of well-intentioned questions in a certain online forum about a controversial subject. I just wanted to see if people would come up with ideas I wouldn't have had, myself. People treated me like I was stupid or had ulterior motives. I'm wondering what causes people to be like this. Unfortunately, I used to be like this. My theory is that it starts in the home. We didn't discuss feelings or debate different ideas in my family. My parents just taught me to think whatever they thought and see the other side as evil or misguided. Or maybe it's a personal identity thing. At one point, I felt that I was my beliefs, so if I lost them, I didn't know who I'd become. Maybe people feel like if you question what they think, you're attempting to kill their soul. If that is what's happening, it's ridiculous, but maybe they're not aware of it?
I'm stuck. Should I try to look like a woman or let people think I'm a man?
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by TheMisfit
Last post
 October 29th, 2023
...See more I've lived as a transgender man for a decade. It made me more confident and comfortable being in public. But something felt off the whole time, and I realize that I actually feel like a woman. I feel like I'm hiding behind a male persona. I'm trying to figure out what happened, and I'm thinking maybe I didn't have the courage to be a masculine woman because I thought people would disapprove of me. I had experiences as a child in which people seemed to reject my natural masculinity. Plus, if I looked like a woman dressed like a man, people would assume I was a lesbian and might have a problem with that. I took testosterone for about five years. It has made my voice androgynous. I have facial hair. I can no longer be perceived as a woman dressed like a man. If I want to be perceived as a woman again, I will have to grow my hair out and/or wear stereotypical women's clothing. I'm very afraid of doing either and don't know if I even want to. I hate women's clothing, and so many people have accepted me as a transgender man. If I reveal that I actually feel like a woman, it will lead them to question other transgender people and possibly take me less seriously when I announce that I feel any other way. I might not even like being perceived as a woman even though I feel like one. Men might hit on me, people in general might take me less seriously, they might judge me for being assertive, and I'll be less safe. What will happen if I detransition, don't like it, and go right back to looking like a man? Will people think I'm emotionally unstable? My boss knows I'm transgender and called me a young man just the other day. It made me feel good because I knew she was respecting my feelings. And it made me not want to detransition because it might weird her out and lead her to question other transgender people. What I want from detransitioning is to see how I feel when people perceive me as female now that I'm more mature. I don't know how it will make me feel. It might make me feel awful. I don't know if it's even worth the trouble.
I had a vivid dream about my deceased father last night
General Support / by TheMisfit
Last post
 October 15th, 2023
...See more My father died from cancer in 2006. I was 15 at the time. Right after that happened, I had vivid dreams about him. Over time, though, he became a background character who appeared in some of my dreams but never played a major role. My dad only knew me as a girl. He was pretty religious and conservative, and I feel like he would have had a problem with me transitioning to a man. I've thought to myself that it would be awkward to see him again in Heaven for this reason. I'm currently questioning my transition and am growing my hair out to see how I feel about looking like a woman again. Last night, I had a vivid dream involving my father. I haven't had a dream about him that was so detailed since just after he had died. He was divorced from my mom and apparently single, living in a house in a nearby neighborhood. I paid him a visit. He was happy to see me, and I sensed that he saw me as his son. We talked together as adults, which I had never done with him before. I feared what his reaction might be if he knew I was going to try looking female again. It was a big leap for him to see me as a son. But he was happy and lively -- more than I remember him being in real life -- and I was happy to see him. I woke up wondering if it was a visitation dream.
Does anyone else find Christianity depressing?
Religion & Spirituality / by TheMisfit
Last post
 October 5th, 2023
...See more I am only a Christian because I believe God told me to read the gospels. Before that, I was repulsed by the religion, especially for it being against sexualities, which I took as threats to my identity. But those aren't the only things I have trouble coming to terms with about Christianity. If you mess up in your current life, you will be miserable forever. I don't think human beings can grasp the severity of eternal punishment. If you're miserable forever, your suffering might outweigh that of the entire situation. It might outweigh all the suffering that has ever taken place on Earth. It might outweigh all the suffering that's ever happened in the universe and so on. And it might all be because of finite sins you committed because you were not fully matured in your faith. God could let you learn from your mistakes and continue maturing in the afterlife, eventually earning a place in Heaven. If you aren’t able live up to his standards, you might suffer punishment for your sins. The Bible condemns homosexuality for its own reason. Now I'm afraid to have a same sex partner, and I worry about other same-sex-attracted people in my life and the world. I'm not willing to date the opposite sex because I don't want to get pregnant. So I'm probably going to be lonely for the rest of my life. As a Christian, I live in perpetual fear of sinning and being judged by God. Little decisions have become big decisions. I second guess myself every day. I don't understand people who get comfort from this religion. It weighs on me like a backpack full of bricks.
My gender dysphoria is gone
General Support / by TheMisfit
Last post
 September 25th, 2023
...See more I finally feel like my female birth sex and am completely comfortable with it. I've been living as a transgender man for a decade. I realized that I just really didn't like being a woman for multiple reasons. Exposure to sexism is one of them. Although I've grown facial hair and my voice sounds androgynous from taking testosterone, these things don't make me feel dysphoric. I still prefer to dress like a man. I was just too afraid to be myself. It takes more courage to be a gender non-conforming woman than a gender conforming man. I wasn't ready to be myself. I had to learn to stand up for myself and not care what people think.
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