unbelief

@blueLemon6419 I hear your inner struggle. I think everyone has different experiences as they go through life. You sound like you have a deep understanding of things. You do not sound like someone that gets the emotions that you once got from religion.

For me, prayer has evolved over the years from simple repetition prayers to asking for tings and even to listening. MY problem has been I wanted a magic wand to make things happen. The more I ask questions before I pray the more I focus on that question and find answers within.

I ask questions like "What is Love your neighbor mean? And then I listen.

I may contemplate on a phrase that resonates with me. Then I listen for a response within, "a still small voice." Not necessarily someone talking but an inner feeling or intuition.

I kept expecting something to happen when I prayed. What it is turning into is I am finding that those are tools to help me transform my mind and help others. Rather than hoping for some future reward I am seeing how I can serve others today and it leaves me with a good sense of who I am and what I am here for.

No one can tell you what your purpose is but you can discover it within.

Thank you so much for commenting Soulsings. (Im drinking at the moment so if parts of this dont make sense thats why and i apologize. I will try my best to be clear and catch errors) I really appreciate you taking the time to read and reply here.

I might seem so but i dont have an understanding unfortunately. Part of me fears that I am an animal that will die and rot like all the other animals and all this spirirtual stuff is an elaborate lie to help us cope with mortality. I want to believe God is there. I really want to. If he is there i dont understand Him at all but I also dont think it's possible.

I resonate with wanting a magic wand. When i was younger ghat's how I related to prayer. Beg God to change things. Beg him to save me from suffering. And feel disillusioned when I was still in the same place after praying. I appreciate your shift in perspective. Towards internal reflection. I will try it but I dont even know what that still small voice should sound like and how is it differnet from my own internal monologue. Prayer for internal reflection sounds like at least a decent meditation technique. I will rry it. Thank you again. At this point i dont think i jave a purpose or the capacity to achieve whatever it is but I am open to exploring that. I like helping people. Have a good nighg Soulsings. Thanks again.

@blueLemon6419 I have explored both ends of the spectrum and now I am trying to be nearer the middle. I am starting to realize that everyone is just like me because they basically want to be happy and be free of suffering. Now I am cultivating that awareness of how I can help others. This is a long term process and I do not expect instant success. I cannot go back to where I was before. I cannot ive in the future. The only place I can experience life is now. Meditation for me is becoming a way to be more in the present and not looking back longingly to where I came from or putting all my faith in some distant goal. How can I be more happy now. I  sit down and ask myself if what I am doing is really making me happy or just running away trying to escape suffering.

You have some knowledge. Meditation can make that into wisdom. If you care to try it and see what your experience is. I try to do that with other experiences too.  I like pancakes and in the past I equated more pancakes with more happiness. When I examine what is happening, the opposite is true. The first bites are delightful and I anticipate being happy. But the more I eat the fuller my stomach gets until it is uncomfortable. More is not the path to happiness. So I modify my behavior and eat just enough pancakes .

If something clouds my mind then I wonder if that is really helping me or just is part of the problem. 

I am glad you  think highly of helping others. Sometimes the way I can help others is just listening.

We have some good discussiiions that are moderated and guided by experienced people. If interested here is a link to the schedule. https://www.7cups.com/forum/50plus/QAsDiscussionsResources_1770/50plusMindfulnessDiscussionTopicsJulySept2024_207920/

@soulsings Thanks again for the link. The mindfulness discussion was very cool. Im glad you shared that. 

@blueLemon6419 you really were supportive in the discussion. I am usually there on Weds and Fridays but amiablePeace77 and branch are there on Monday Tuesday and Thursday. Feel free to attend. 

Hi.

Can I just tell you - If you believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins and was raised the 3. day you're among the sheep! 

@Helgafy Thank you for replying Helgafy. I really appreciate you taking the time to read and reply. 

@blueLemon6419 I want faith in action. To me it is more important to put compassion into action than just to believe something is real. I see people suffering. I want to give them compassion and understanding. That to me is what any religion based on an ethical foundation is asking us to do. 

@soulsings

@blueLemon6419

Hi soul - so nice to see you around. I think there must be a misunderstanding here. blue was talking about salvation (being a sheep) when he/she comes to heaven. This is what he/she wrote: 

"The problem must be me.

I think in the end of the world

when the sheep and the goats are separated

I will be a goat."

What I wanted to say - what Christianity says - is that salvation (to be a "sheep") is completely free. God do not crave anything from us. Remember the criminal at the cross - next to Jesus Christ - he had not a "fine life" to show to Jesus. But Jesus said; "Today you shall come with me to heaven." I don't neglect good things to be done to other persons at all. Of course that's important. But - to become a child of God (a sheep) is free, grace we call it, we can never become a child of God by doing good deeds. That's the difference between other religions and Christianity.

I'm Muslim and I have experienced this phase too. According to Our Prophet, Belief is never constant, it is ever changing. What you need to do is to know that God is always listening to you even if you feel like you are no longer a good believer. God created us so how can He not be aware of our feelings. We just need to trust His plans and Him that He won't ever abandon us due to our human feelings. It is normal to have frequent increase and decrease in your faith just know that so long as you keep coming back to Him, God will never give up on you. Stay strong my friend and God bless you with strong faith. Ameen! 🌹

@hopefuldew5845 Thank you hopefuldew. This is a very encouraging reply. I appreciate this especially from the point of view of someone of an abrahamic faith. I feel very far from God and the idea of him being gracious towards our feelings of unbelief is comforting. The burden of maintaining faith when I feel challenged by life circumstances is heavy. I find it overwhelming sometimes. The idea that God understands and will not give up on me is reassuring. 

He is your creator. He created you like that. Of course He knows