Sex with coworker and being dumped after
Hello there, i am new to this app and I really wish to share my story because I feel kinda lost in it. I am a 25 year old girl and my coworker is a 33 year old man. So we started talking around december last year and at first I thought nothing of him, only that he was nice to talk to. But as time moved on I began to grow feelings for this guy. I told him and he told me that it is complicated because we are coworkers and that I probably liked him more than he liked me. But he still continued to talk to me and in my opinion we grew really close. The conversations were funny and also a lot about sex and teasing.. eventually we met a few times after work and one time we had sex in his car… After that everything changed. He said that he felt bad for doing it, because he already had a feeling he would feel awkward afterwards and still let it happen. He was very distant suddenly. It hit me so damn hard. I felt hurt and was insecure by it, that I started to create “drama” as he calls it. So after a while of having arguments and stuff he said “ i wanted to date you but not anymore because now I know how dramatic you are” but he never made any attempt to really date me before.. But now we are at this point that the arguments were so heavy that he told me he didnt want anything to do with me anymore, no friends, nothing. So Yesterday I went to his house because I wanted to have a good talk with him and when I got home he texted me and said that: “I made it worse and that we can never make up. “ I feel so sad, mad, confused and everything you can possibly feel with negative emotions. I dont see him often at work luckily, but we will have a fun work event soon and we are a small group and i just dont know how and if I can face him.. what do I do?
Hello! I’m sorry that you are going through that. I have been in a similar situation and i know how painful it is. This feeling of rejection that you just can’t wrap your head around, especially when everything was fine just a short period ago. It honestly seems like he got what he wanted and lost interest, and that’s why he got distant and cold. He did not realize how hurtful this change in his behavior would be for you, so was surprised to see your reaction. So he started coming up with excuses, trying to make you feel like it is all your fault. So he was calling you over-dramatic just to shift the fault from him to you: so it would seem like it was not him who lost interest, it was you who were acting dramatic. At least that’s how it seems to me based on the experience that I went through. In my situation, I was desperate for about two months and then I started moving on. I got myself back together and was acting all happy and successful just to piss him off. And guess what happened? He came back saying that it was all his fault and he felt so bad for hurting me, but at that point I already realized that I deserve better than that so nothing worked out anyway. I hope you are able to find strength to focus on yourself: pamper yourself, read your favorite book, spend sometime with friends - do things that usually make you happy. It helped me. You deserve better than that! You deserve to be happy.
Wow thank you so much for your response. I got tears in my eyes because I felt every word you said! I think I’ve never felt so understood lately than right now.. thanks so much for reaching out and feel free if you want to talk about anything too
Thank you for your kind words!! I am glad I was able to help! You literally just made my day! And yes definitely, feel free to reach out as well - I would love to continue talking.
I would love to continue talking aswell.. only problem is I can’t seem to private message you
I’m new to this community as well, so still trying to figure things out. I think I heard that members can send messages to each other, so I’ll work on finding a way. We will figure it out! :)
Yeah I still haven’t figured it out 😞 but I just send an e-mail to 7cups info and maybe they”ll explain how to do it :)
Thank you for asking :) Its a weird feeling tbh. Really mixed feelings. The other day im more sad and the next day im more angry. And how are you feeling? I wish we could talk in messages but they’ve not responded yet. The work event is still coming up.. really not looking forward to it 🤣
No he has ghosted me now after the fights we had.. im so sad and mad at the same time. The work event is late august. What is wrong? Why are you confused?:( if you dont wanna talk about it its ok x
@creativeBanana1558 Yes I totally understand… do the feelings seem to improve with time at all? And I hope that event goes well, but man, i think it is going to be soo hard… I’m sorry :( but I feel like it might give you some answers though. You will see him and he will see you. And you’ll be able to watch his reaction to your presence and analyze your own feelings towards him as well. Sometimes seeing someone in person again just flips the switch and changes the direction of where everything is going. I really really really hope it goes well for you though! You should keep me updated!! And about me, oh I’m so lost! So I am married and recently had my first love (whom I still miss for some weird and unknown to me reason even though it had been like 15 years since we saw each other last time) tell me that he misses me too. He is married now as well, and he said that he has been missing me all these years. We talked about all the memories we had together and he really does remember everything about me… like all the little stuff that I like and what I did. So here I am married and missing my married-as well ex whom I have not seen for 15 years…. And it’s just driving me insane - I just can’t get him out of my mind even though my marriage is good and I’m happy in this relationship. So I just feel like I’m crazy because I should not feel the way I am feeling, and it has been stressing me out a lot. Like a lot. And no one in my family understands my inner struggles, so I have been also feeling really lonely. So taking it day by day and trying to manage my emotions.
Hi there! :) The last few days it seems to move more from sad to angry because of how he behaved by ghosting me atm and everything. Somehow It also has an impact on my self system.. but I try to see it on the positive side as much as possible and youre right. Sometimes seeing someone in person again just flips the switch but in my experience it can either be a “oh my god I miss you so much” switch, or a “fuckyou, it doesn’t bother me anymore” switch. So I guess we will see which one I will experience. Thanks so much for asking tho and listening to my dilemma’s. If you want I can keep you updated and I will also respond to your story. but it sucks we have to talk through here and not through private message, 7cups still hasn’t answered. Anyway, thats a fucked up situation aswel.. and importantly: don’t feel crazy for feeling how you feel.. This can happen in the best, most loving relationships and marriages! After all, you cannot control your feelings. Maybe you can ask yourself if you really missed him all these years or if it started after he reached out to you? And lets not forget that a marriage can feel like a drag. I think sometimes its very human to wonder if the grass is greener on the other side. But when those feelings grow bigger and bigger I think you must be careful and maybe talk about it with your husband. You can always message me if you want. I can be a listening ear if you want to vent anytime :)
@creativeBanana1558 Men like this can be very immature and use you. :( It sucks to learn that's what someone is really like when you liked them, but you deserve a better guy. I have learned to be more upfront and ask what they are looking for before being intimate with someone.
I know that ur emotions are so challenging but it's ok to feel them it's the best way to overcome it's ok to be hurt we learn after that a good leçon and we'll be more aware and don't even bother ur self by seen his face he doesn't desirve u are a queen