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Sex with coworker and being dumped after

creativeBanana1558 June 29th, 2021

Hello there, i am new to this app and I really wish to share my story because I feel kinda lost in it. I am a 25 year old girl and my coworker is a 33 year old man. So we started talking around december last year and at first I thought nothing of him, only that he was nice to talk to. But as time moved on I began to grow feelings for this guy. I told him and he told me that it is complicated because we are coworkers and that I probably liked him more than he liked me. But he still continued to talk to me and in my opinion we grew really close. The conversations were funny and also a lot about sex and teasing.. eventually we met a few times after work and one time we had sex in his car… After that everything changed. He said that he felt bad for doing it, because he already had a feeling he would feel awkward afterwards and still let it happen. He was very distant suddenly. It hit me so damn hard. I felt hurt and was insecure by it, that I started to create “drama” as he calls it. So after a while of having arguments and stuff he said “ i wanted to date you but not anymore because now I know how dramatic you are” but he never made any attempt to really date me before.. But now we are at this point that the arguments were so heavy that he told me he didnt want anything to do with me anymore, no friends, nothing. So Yesterday I went to his house because I wanted to have a good talk with him and when I got home he texted me and said that: “I made it worse and that we can never make up. “ I feel so sad, mad, confused and everything you can possibly feel with negative emotions. I dont see him often at work luckily, but we will have a fun work event soon and we are a small group and i just dont know how and if I can face him.. what do I do?

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sallymae3459 June 30th, 2021

@creativeBanana1558 I am sorry that he did that I think you deserve better he clearly doesn't know how to deal with conflicts it seems I think something better is around the corner.

1 reply
creativeBanana1558 OP June 30th, 2021

Thanks so much for your response. I hope something better is indeed around the corner (:

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OptimisticPineapple459 June 30th, 2021

Hello! I’m sorry that you are going through that. I have been in a similar situation and i know how painful it is. This feeling of rejection that you just can’t wrap your head around, especially when everything was fine just a short period ago. It honestly seems like he got what he wanted and lost interest, and that’s why he got distant and cold. He did not realize how hurtful this change in his behavior would be for you, so was surprised to see your reaction. So he started coming up with excuses, trying to make you feel like it is all your fault. So he was calling you over-dramatic just to shift the fault from him to you: so it would seem like it was not him who lost interest, it was you who were acting dramatic. At least that’s how it seems to me based on the experience that I went through. In my situation, I was desperate for about two months and then I started moving on. I got myself back together and was acting all happy and successful just to piss him off. And guess what happened? He came back saying that it was all his fault and he felt so bad for hurting me, but at that point I already realized that I deserve better than that so nothing worked out anyway. I hope you are able to find strength to focus on yourself: pamper yourself, read your favorite book, spend sometime with friends - do things that usually make you happy. It helped me. You deserve better than that! You deserve to be happy.

5 replies
creativeBanana1558 OP June 30th, 2021

Wow thank you so much for your response. I got tears in my eyes because I felt every word you said! I think I’ve never felt so understood lately than right now.. thanks so much for reaching out and feel free if you want to talk about anything too

5 replies
OptimisticPineapple459 June 30th, 2021

Thank you for your kind words!! I am glad I was able to help! You literally just made my day! And yes definitely, feel free to reach out as well - I would love to continue talking.

5 replies
creativeBanana1558 OP July 1st, 2021

I would love to continue talking aswell.. only problem is I can’t seem to private message you

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Daydreamer47 July 1st, 2021

@creativeBanana1558 Men like this can be very immature and use you. :( It sucks to learn that's what someone is really like when you liked them, but you deserve a better guy. I have learned to be more upfront and ask what they are looking for before being intimate with someone.

1 reply
creativeBanana1558 OP July 2nd, 2021

Thank you for your response. Yeah it really sucks to see someone’s true face after months of talking. But I try to see it as a learning process

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unassumingSquare2103 July 12th, 2021

I know that ur emotions are so challenging but it's ok to feel them it's the best way to overcome it's ok to be hurt we learn after that a good leçon and we'll be more aware and don't even bother ur self by seen his face he doesn't desirve u are a queen

1 reply
creativeBanana1558 OP July 15th, 2021

Thankyou. Yes defenitly. But its so hard to set aside your emotions. :(

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