Hopeless Crush on Brother's Bestie
Hey everyone,
As you can tell from the title of this thread, I have had a crush on my older brother's close friend for as long as I can remember. Ever since I was a kid, I would get all excited when he would come over to our house, and especially when he talked to me. Being the youngest sibling, none of my brother's friends would ever ackowledge me; except for him. This friend would always say hi to me (and call me by my name instead of just their friend's little sister), ask me how school was, and all of that. One of my favorite memories with him is when I made myself a glass of iced tea, and he asked me if I could make him a glass, and he loved it. I don't know, that was just such a highlight for me. 😂
The crush was never strong enough to the point where I could never like anyone but him. I have had other romantic interests, but for some reason, this one just won't go away. He is 5 years older than me, so obviously nothing could ever happen between us back then. But, now that I am 19, I kind of want to give it a shot. He rarely comes over nowadays; a few weeks ago was the first time I saw him in a couple of years, and that's when I realized that the feelings are still there. I could probably make him another glass of iced tea and probably feel just as enthusiastic as I did when I was a kid, LOL. But rarely seeing him also means rarely talking to him.
We are friends on Facebook, and I noticed it was his birthday a few days ago. So, I sent him a message wishing him a good day, saying it was nice to see him the other day, and that it'd be good to catch up and chat more. To this day, he still hasn't even opened my message or read it, despite being active multiple times, and the message status being "delivered".
I'm no stranger to rejection, but this one really sucks since I've liked him for so long. Maybe the age difference weirds him out? Or maybe he sees me as a little sister since we've known each other for so long? I could definitely see why he would turn me down, but I just hate that he couldn't even give me a chance. I know I should let him go, but I can't just turn these feelings off for him. I see something special in him, and I want to tell him how I feel, but never get the opportunity. I just feel like I'm in a fruitless situation and don't know how to get him to see me in the same way I see him, or to even talk to him.
As for my brother, we aren't close at all. I could never tell him how I feel without him being weirded out, angry, or swearing at me. I hate that out of all people, I have to like HIS friend. He would never understand how I feel or try and set me up with his friend, because he just isn't compassionate or caring at all like you would imagine an older brother to be. I know that even if his friend and I started dating, my brother and my whole family would be weirded out completely, but I think he would really make me happy (since he already does). I know the rest of my family would be accepting since they already think he's a good guy, but I just have no idea how he sees me or if anything could or would ever happen, and it hurts.
I know this is kind of a crazy situation, but any thoughts or opinions would be appreciated. :)