Hopeless Crush on Brother's Bestie

@honeypie720

No time like the present. Maybe he likes you too but has a girlfriend he's kept quiet about or something else going on that he's worried might not work okay with you appearing. I'd take the bull by the horns and just turn up at his place or phone him. Speak to him person to person and maybe in a cool way say something like "Hey, I know you might find it awkward or not be interested or I might have bad timing, but I'd really like to spend some time with you getting to know you better, I completely understand if now is not a good time, or if you're not interested. I'm just putting it out there". Let him feel comfortable / safe enough to say how he feels at the mo and then you have clarification hopefully. What I mean by that is... if he comes back and says "I really can't" "I'm not interested like that" "this feels strange to me". You KNOW you tried and you know where you stand. Or he might say "yeah okay why not?" Or he might have some boundaries he wants to make first. Either way it helps you know where you stand and whether you need to get over him or continue being interested.

@unassumingKiwi4176

Hey, thank you so much for the kind and helpful words! I 100% agree with you! I'm usually not the type who is scared to admit my feelings for someone, mainly because of all the reasons you just listed. But it's more of a challenge with this guy since he won't answer my message, and I rarely get to see him. Once in a blue moon when he does come over, he's never really alone to talk, as he's always hanging with my brother. Hoping to see him again soon and try my best to be quick, but upfront. I really appreciate the advice, thanks again! :)

@honeypie720

Hey there, 🧡

Thanks for taking the time to write out how you feel and your thoughts about the crush you have had on your older brother's close friend. Seems like you have kept the feelings to yourself for so long and over the years have grown to like him a lot and have hopes that something could happen but you also have doubts remembering you wrote about how he didn't answer your message on FB.

I know going to speak him in person would be even harder.

I could say this but as you said because you have been interested but still it is hard to get over your crush when in a way you want to try with them.

I guess in a way like this quote

Like when you hide your feelings for someone then they develop so I guess could imagine as time goes by you think a lot about him. Now that you are older you are considering it but aren't sure about how he feels. Perhaps you could talk more about things.

I hope that some options and ideas come up from your message and through talking.

@MonicaQu

Hey, thank you for the wonderful advice! I really like those quotes, and I definitely agree with them. As I replied before, I am usually the person who isn't afraid to speak up about how I feel, just to give myself closure and to live with no regret of "what could've been." It's just challenging with this guy, as I always have to wait for him to show up at my house (which isn't very often, and when he does, he's always hanging with my brother and never really alone), or respond to my message (which he still hasn't even opened). I know I need to get my feelings out there for myself, but it's just hard figuring out how. I appreciate the time you took to reply with such wise and wonderful words, it was very helpful! :)

Hey, just an update:

So I went into the bathroom earlier and noticed that my brother left his phone in there. I know this probably wasn't the most ethical thing to do, but yes, I did some snooping to try and find anything about his friend. I was just looking for a phone number or any way to contact him that is effective. I did find a phone number, but there was no call or text history, so maybe he doesn't use it? I tried look on social media too and found nothing. Then I went to my brother's Facebook messages and saw that that is where he texts and calls his friend. And they were just talking a couple days ago, when it's been almost a week since I messaged him. It sucked to see that cuz now I wonder why he's been purposefully ignoring me.

So now what? I should just let it go but I know my mind would never be that kind. *sigh*

@honeypie720 I am sorry that this a struggle for you maybe it just wasn't meant to be but you could try to tell this person how you feel and see if he even feel's the same way.