Codependency?

I don’t know how old you are or where you go. I would try to meet new people I don’t know where you go to during the day school or work. You need to love yourself first in this case because this man does care about you. If you do not feel the same do not hold him back. That is not fair to him at all you can not force love. Please try to go meet someone else please try to find something that brings you joy. You can not find joy in another person you must have it in yourself first before you can receive it. I don’t know if you have some kind of club activities in your area you could meet someone. I don’t know but what I do know is being alone you do find out so much about yourself. What you do and do not want in a partner. It seems scary I know I get it but after awhile it’s a relief trust me. (6 years for me) I hope you have a good support system around you in your life with friends and family.

@Muse4apoem

I have no friends, that's why it is even more difficult.

I’m sorry maybe try online dating?

@hardworkingBeechwood6063

 It is easy to cling to someone when you have few or no other friends or connections ....but faking feelings and committing for the moment is not a good idea...find the courage to be honest with him. 

some have fully committed and down the road when they find themselves in a better point emotionally they want to be free and it will come out that you settled for the meantime wasting his time and yours from finding and growing a successful mutual relationship with others. 

@hardworkingBeechwood6063

i can relate. I am in a similar situation kinda

i am addicted to a woman I feel god made just for me. 

She cheats pregnant by someone else lies refuses intimacy of any kind blames me for any and all probs but won’t let me go 

I don’t have the strength to leave her no mater what she does I look past the flaws and love her more. 

You have clearly explained your feelings towards this 'guy friend'. You have mentioned how you are not ready to commit to him as he is not your match but whenever he is away you feel empty and would always run back to him full force. I'll suggest you put yourself in two scenarios.

1. Now, imagine your closest friend in the shoes of this 'guy friend', what would you have advised them to do? 

2. Then, put yourself in the shoes of this 'guy friend' if it were you, what would you have done? 

When you are able to answer these questions, there lies in a solution, fully crafted by you.

@hardworkingBeechwood6063 

Hello. You must be feeling so confused by these situation that you don't know what to do. However, it takes a great courage to come out like these and talk openly about your feelings and thoughts. We understand it is a sensitive matter to you and don't want advice on the matter. That is why I will only say that believe in yourself, you know best what will be good for you.

Hi, @hardworkingBeechwood6063

It sounds like you're going through a really challenging time, and it's understandable to feel conflicted and overwhelmed by these emotions. It takes courage to express these feelings, and it's important to give yourself space to process everything you're going through.

It's clear that you value the companionship and care deeply about the person, even though you're clear about not wanting to commit fully. It's okay to feel this way, and it's important to be honest with yourself about your needs and feelings. Relationships can be complex, especially when there's a mismatch in personalities, expectations etc.

Feeling attached to someone who cares for you is a natural human desire, but I believe that it's also important to consider what's best for both of you in the long run. Taking time to reflect on what truly makes you happy and fulfilled in a relationship might help you navigate these feelings more effectively.

Venting and expressing your emotions is a healthy step toward understanding your own needs better! Remember, you're not alone in feeling this way, and there's no rush to make any decisions. Take care of yourself during this time, and if you ever feel like talking more about it, I'm here to listen without offering advice.

@hardworkingBeechwood6063

It sounds like you're going through a challenging time with your relationship. It's understandable to feel conflicted when you care deeply for someone but aren't sure if the relationship is right for you in the long term. 

If you find yourself feeling addicted to the relationship or dependent on your partner for emotional fulfillment, it could be a sign of codependency. Codependency often involves relying heavily on another person for approval and a sense of identity, which can make it difficult to establish healthy boundaries and make decisions that are best for you.

It might be helpful to take some time for self-reflection and consider what you truly want and need from a relationship. Honest communication with your partner about your feelings and uncertainties could also provide clarity for both of you moving forward.

 Take care of yourself during this time.🤗

@hardworkingBeechwood6063

It’s been a while since your post, how are you doing now?

I noticed that you mentioned you did not want advice, and I understand that, it’s unlikely for people who are new to a situation to be able to fully grasp the nuances of any situation, especially one like a relationship with someone close to you.

Still, try not to be so hard on yourself, you’re not “stupid,” just in complicated circumstances.

It’s not uncommon for us to be in a paradoxical situation, and your feelings are natural. Are you able to think of any possible reasons you think he’s not the right match, or identify any fears regarding the relationship?