Became antisocial after falling inlove with him

@MarNova

I've experienced something similar, it was frustrating and got lonely..

hmm... do you feel like you'd rather spend time with your husband than anyone else?

@wonderousHeart14 yes I do, I just fear losing him. We kinda dirfted away from our friends to avoid problemas and gossip and focus on each other. We like spending tine with each other , just that sometimes we end up arguing or wanting more and the other doesnt at the moment and I guess its time to do more things outside the relationship but for me its been hard. For him it seems easy, sadly I feel frusterated to know hed slowly associating with people that can influence negative things to our relationship. Thats my overral fear, not knowing how to handel things by living two lives, personal (him & i) and outside (friends ,family , work, gym, etc).. how did it go for you? What was your experience may I ask

@MarNova

Honestly we tried everything.. It's just a seperation anxiety that I had developed. I read somewhere that it's healthy to have time together, time apart, and time to ourselves, but really I only wanted to spend time with him.. :( I just have to find ways to distract myself when he's not around and hope for the best!

@wonderousHeart14

@wonderousHeart14 thats exactly how I feel "seperation anxiety" Im without him atleast 10hrs a day everyday because of work, I feel depressed when I work cus I miss him and when were together we dont spend as much time together. Point is, since I have no friends I expect for him to share the little time with me but he doesnt so im back to square 1. #inneedoffriends and the #fear of losing him at the same time.

@MarNova

I understand completely

@wonderousHeart14 , 🙄🌷♥️

@MarNova

Well I will not ask you to do something what I wish you to because you know the best in your situation . But I'd like to say that everyone faces this phase. Loneliness is something only you can overcome. We can just motivate you and be by your side. If you want to make friends, make friends. If your partner is scared of losing you to someone and hence he restricts you or does not allow you, assure him that you're always his and had you not socialized 8yrs ago , you're relationship would have been different.

Have faith in yourself. We're always here for you . Ping me if you need to talk :)

Echo <3

@ececho your so sweet. I always feel abit better when I get feedback. Your also right about 8years ago. I find it easier to make friend online but not in person, thats how I met my husband. Ive had friends but they would all take the iniciative to talk to me, its never been the other way around. I would need some motivacion on how to, that is ; if anyone is willing to share some techniques :[ .

I will most likely ping you. Thank you so much for the feed back!!

@MarNova

I'm always there for you hun <3

@MarNova

Hi there, I totally get what you mean! My partner and I feel the same way too, and it's extremely easy to fall into the pattern of just hanging out with your respective partner, mainly because you enjoy hanging out with them so much. They feel like family, and your best friend after all! I am assuming that this must be the case for you too :) But I really do hear your concerns and worries about feeling alone sometimes especially if there is a fight, and feeling like your partner has associated friends with negativity for the relationship. Perhaps the best thing to do now is to discuss this with him and question why he feels this way. Maybe it's the group of friends who are not great to begin with? Or even maybe, what you and him might need is to find a couple that you like to go on a double date with? Obviously I may be wrong as I am just speculating here.

At the end of the day, you know your life better than anyone else! Just know that having friends does not mean that your relationship will die out. Especially if you have a group of friends that your partner is part of too! :)

@2cupsofteaa thanks for sharing. I always wonder who else feels the same way I do. Apparently it isnpossible to live the dame thing as others just qith different people. Going back to me , :[ I just feel like ive become way to clingy and trust me. This was never me, this is not the person im known for, I guess its the love. I want to change and live fearless but love doesnt let me. The love i have for him but I will eventually talk to him. Ill figure out how I can mix both and I did suggest to find couples to be friends with but its impossible. Everyone is in their own world and whatever. I guess i shouldnt force it and let it be. But it is challenging for me to make girlfriends. Girls/women are so comolicated i include myself and can be selective. But even if i wasnt so selective its still hard for me to approach people. Idk how to be friendly, im kinda intmidating and I give up easily since in used to being a loner and independent , but I do miss unconditional friendships .... any suggestions !!

@MarNova

Hey yeah :) You're definitely not alone in this. It sounds like you really want to find those long-lasting and real friendships, but the thing is, those really comes with the right person and right moment too. Just understand though that even if you're a social butterfly, connecting with a person and sharing an authentic and solid friendship doesn't come by often. The same can be said for finding a partner who you can truly connect and find comfort in. So in a way, you're really lucky to already have someone like that in your life!

I do hear your concerns though about wanting to find external connection elsewhere outside of your relationship. It's in a way healthy to have another source of connection so that you don't feel too isolated with your partner. It doesn't mean though that such friendships will replace the connection that you have with your partner; that is unique in itself and will never be replaced! So right now, what is important is to focus on yourself. It sounds like you want to obtain more friends, and the only way really is to put yourself out there. It is a scary thought for sure, and even I get intimidated a lot of the times. It is so much easier just meeting people online than face-to-face, but how are you going to meet people in real life if you're keeping to yourself? Perhaps what might help is if you take up a new hobby, or some social activities like dancing for example. You get to meet new people and gain more confidence in yourself :) Of course these are just ideas. You do know your life better than anybody, so ultimately, you know what will work for you best!

Through my experience though, it just seems that meeting the right people is usually luck. Even if you do try your hardest to get out there, there is no guarantee that you'll make unconditional friendships if that makes sense? I wish I could give you a straight answer to fix your problem but unfortunately I can't :( Just know that you're not alone in this though!

@2cupsofteaa, this is suh a well

expressed and breath taking post. I completely understoond your point. I guess ill have to start somewhere. I just need the little push and know how and where to start. I dont know why its so hard on making friend when there sooooo many people out there, I need more positive & open minded friends with good hearts like all of you on this app. I really enjoy the small connection i make on a daily basis in #7cups . Refering tocreal life vs Online friends, I guess its a lot easier to connect online, thou it cancbe decieving but, i wish I was able to be myself in real life. I guess the people qho have crossed me have certain mind sets I dont really like to associate with. I like more centered people, positive people, that good vibe, sometimes I believe you only see it movies. Its hard. Well for me its been. I do wish to find a long-lasting friendship. Im so full of energy and would like to share with a few friends some adventure and obv with my husband too. Ehh , I guess i should be patient, but I think its been long enough and even now That im having a taste of lonelyness .

Thabk you so much for the support. I rlly enjoy the positive feed backkk. xoxox

@MarNova

I am glad to hear that some of that words I said connected with you :) Sometimes I feel like I am rambling haha. Anyways, I think that you said it all yourself. It has nothing to do with you being unable to get out there. Sure you're shy or sometimes intimidated...but if someone is truly kind and approachable, I feel that you would be comforted and relaxed enough to open up to them after some time. Also, you mentioned yourself that the people who have crossed you have different mindsets, so naturally it is hard to maintain a long-lasting friendship from both ends! I know, online friends can be deceiving, but what you do take away is that it is still another human being across this screen talking to you, and whoever they portray, is the type of person you would like to have in your life - if that makes sense?

But yes, I also get that the way movies portray friendships sometimes just strikes a raw spot in me too. It makes you wish that you have that! However, it's all about perspective though :) Imagine if you did not have your husband with you, how much lonelier would you be? Many individuals with friends desire what you want! A strong relationship who you can be yourself. What really helps me I think with this aspect is to accept that true friends are hard to come by, but when they do, you'll know. Things will fall into place! And just always remind yourself that many want what you have ;) A partner whom they can spend loads of time with!

@2cupsofteaa

And yes relationships are roller coasters sometimes, but what is important is that you always stay in love. You're living with this person after all, so inevitably there would be ups and downs! :)

@MarNova

I connect with your thoughts, experiences, and concerns very closely. These people aren't lying when they say you aren't alone on this! Of all the things you've said in this post, I am the exact same (except that I am not married- just in a 2yr long relationship- but that is also struggling). Let me know if you find any solutions! I'd be happy to talk with you more about our similar experiences, if you'd like.