My husband doesn’t want a baby with me anymore..

@brightOcean2387

Hi there, thanks for connecting. My name is Rosie.

I’m so sorry to hear your husband no longer wants a baby with you. I’m not surprised you feel so heart broken right now. Can I ask what reason he has given regarding his decision?

im so shameful to admit, over a year ago I cheated…since then he has been open on and off about the possibility of having children with me, but lately it’s felt more like a definite no. Deep down I wonder if he ever wanted that and I also wonder if it’s something I’ll ever be able to let go. I try to relate and understand where he comes from in his feelings but being 33 it’s hard for me to not feel like time is of the essence. It’s constantly on my mind. But I also know I am to blame..

@rainbowrosie

If you still have hope, there is definitely still time. I know so many women who have had babies after 35. I even know a couple women who had successful pregnancies after 40. I know this may not make you feel better at all, I just don’t want you to feel like you have to give up hope. Here’s a question if he is honestly deciding he does not want children with you, is this a deal breaker??? Has he truly forgiven you or does he still need time to heal?? Either way, regarding your stress and calculating dates every month - just be careful and mindful that the more you stress and the more anxious you become it could possibly mean the less likely you are to conceive. Best of luck to you 💚

@greenmagnolias2404 thank you so much for you kindness (sorry I am just seeing this). I don’t want it to be a dealbreaker because I do want to be with him. He says he is working on himself and moving on to fully forgive me. Which i’m trying to be understanding about, after all I have no one to blame but myself for the mess I’ve caused. And I’ve recently looked into the stress playing a part and your right. I think I have to just sit back and pray on it. Try to accept that if that’s my path I will someday find happiness as a childless woman. Again thank you for your reply!

I’m happy to help 😌 I also want you to know you are not alone. The only reason I know that stress and calculating and adding pressure to yourself isn’t helpful… is because I am in the same boat. I’ve been trying to conceive for 6 months. This will be my second baby but I am also over 35. So I have been questioning and reading and asking friends and every one / every website says the same… stress can have a negative effect AND being over 35 doesn’t make it hopeless. My first baby was born when I was 4 months before turning 36. So I’m going to keep trying and do my best not to worry and I hope you can do the same.

as for your husband, I’m happy for you both that you are both doing your best. It’s all one can ask for. Stay strong and hopeful. And give each other time and don’t forget to communicate with each other as much as possible. You’ve got this! It’ll be fine…. Chin up. ☺️

@greenmagnolias2404 I pray that it happens for you! And you have no idea how your words help, even just comfort me when I need it on days like today. It’s such an emotional roller coaster that I know you can relate to every month (really twice a month counting ovulation week and period week.) as much as i’m trying to accept a life without children I still have this small sense of hope that someday he will change his mind. Trying very hard to stay strong and remind myself that I can find happiness in an alt life it’s just really hard for me right now. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers too ❤️

You’re absolutely right it IS DEFINITELY an emotional roller coaster. Last month I was 3 days late on my period and I thought for sure I was pregnant!!! Then my period came and I was devastated. Felt almost like I lost someone. I was already planning how to tell my husband, how to surprise him and I was already beyond excited. As you said it’s the calculating and anticipation twice a month!!! So when my period came late I was just speechless. And angry and sad and wondering if something is wrong with me. But after two days, I was back to being positive and doing my best to just keep swimming. With a smile. But trust me, you are not alone. And I’m here to listen whenever you need to vent. About anything.

spot on with that up and down, devastated then hopeful. It’s hard for me too right now bc there’s the not even trying aspect, he pulls out. And it feels like a gut punch every time. I’m trying to start grieving what I thought would be my life but then i’m also holding onto hope he will change his mind but it’s weighing on me so hard and I feel like it’s all I think about. I’ve started a book called “living the life unexpected” and it’s a wake up call/reality check for me. I wish I didn’t hold out this hope, like just want to start the agonizing process of grieving that he may not be ready in time…and I hope I won’t resent him for it even though I know I was the cause for everything that’s happened.

I’m praying for you too ❤️

It’s good to hear you have a book you are reading to distract and enlighten you at the same time. I know it has to be really unbearable every time he pulls out. I’m sure you are trying to figure out a way to give him no choice. I sometimes hate that as men they have so much control. I’m in my two week wait now… AGAIN. I have until Friday to wait. So I thank you for tor your prayers. I’m trying not to think about it. But you know how that goes. And I agree with you, I’m trying not to feel resentment too. I know it’s not completely his fault but my mind just keeps thinking of things he could try doing to help. Like he could stop smoking or he could stop have 3-4 beers every night. Or he could exercise and get back in shape. I know it sounds so stupid and I hate that I even think about it but it’s not to wonder why it hasn’t happened yet. Are we both doing something wrong or is it just me. Anyways, I have my hopes up for you that he will come around and until then I wish you mental peace and that you are able to stop blaming yourself and that you both can enjoy the time you have together stress, worry, guilt and blame free.

I’m glad you said it bc of course I’ve thought of how I can “force/trick” him into giving in 😅 but then i’m like I know that’s wrong and in the end I wouldn’t want that if he didn’t…Prayers for your wait I do know how that goes…it sucks and time seems to go at a snails pace! I totally understand your thoughts on ways to increase possibility, it’s true too of course you think even small changes (smoking drinking exercise and eat healthy) could help it def couldn’t hurt right! But we try to find any reason or something/someone to blame for why it isn’t happening for us. Keep me posted!

I will. And you keep me posted too. I admire your patience and positivity. You give me some things to think about, about myself. It takes a lot of maturity to be truthful about the fact that it would be wrong to trick/force him. You’re an awesome person. And don’t forget that … especially in those self-bashing moments that we know so well.

🥹❤️

@greenmagnolias2404 how are things going for you?

Been thinkin of you ❤️

I’m doing well. I’m so sorry that it’s been so long since I’ve had any free time to check this app. But I’ve thought about you and I hope you are happy and healthy too