My boyfriends friends aren’t successful
I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. He has a group of friends that don’t do much with their lives, some are don’t get me wrong. But the others just sit around doing little to nothing. I find that every time he is around the ones doing nothing he becomes unmotivated and sometimes even lost his job trying to hang out. We live together. I love him, but how do I continue to prioritize someone who keeps these “friends” who are unmotivated around ?
Hi orangePerson4161. Have you had any discussions with him about how he acts when he's around his friends?
I actually have tried too. 1. I don’t think I’m expressing it appropriately 2. He tends to see the length of the friendship more important. So he sees the quantity over quality in a way .
1. How would you say you're approaching him? 2. I understand that, and friendship is important in any relationship. Having said that, it sounds like you are prioritizing a healthy relationship, whereas he may not be. Trust me, I've been there many time- where you almost want permission to stay with the guy or that you want others to give you some sort of answer or light to look at so that you can tell yourself it's okay to stay. Please don't do this to yourself. Do not blame yourself for not having the tools to work with someone who doesn't work with you. Do not make excuses for him. There are different approaches; you're right. However, there are only so many ways to approach somebody. Love yourself before you love him. If you let these things slide, they will stagnate or get worse. What if you married him, and he called you a derogatory name? What if you had a child by him and he called the child a derogatory name?