My Boyfriend’s friend who is a girl
I’ve been dating my boyfriend right now for about 3 years and everything is going great so far. Even though it’s my first time being in a relationship, I really love him and feel like I’ve found the person who’s just right for me.
But I do have some concerns about one of his friends who just happens to be a girl lol. I’ve only met her once and didn’t even get to know her that well to determine what kind of person she is. Because of this, I asked my boyfriend what their relationship is and he classifies her as not even a close friend and doesn’t even put her in the same category as his guy friends. But that makes sense since she’s not a guy, she is a girl; that just makes it different.
Since we trust each other, we gave each other the passwords to our cellphones. We agreed that it’s fine since we both understood that we only have eyes for each other and have nothing suspicious to hide. Therefore, I decided to look through previous text messages with her and found that they ARE close friends. SO close that occasionally they text each they love each other and send love gifs to each other. One day when we were spending time together I could see that he was getting anxious because she didn’t respond to his text for a couple of days, so he tracked her phone location (there’s an option on iPhones that allows people to track others who also have an iPhone).
Ever since then I’m always trying to confirm that he still loves me like he says and he hasn’t stopped or shown any signs of disinterest in me.
This bring me to my question of Are the emotions that I’m feeling show that I’m being too clingy/protective? How do I share my worries without coming off as clingy or annoying?
youre not too clingy or overprotective. There’s obviously something going on with them. You need to be strong and approach him head on. He lied about how close he is with her. There’s no need to worry of coming off too clingy or annoying. You had a gut feeling about her and you can’t ignore that along with his lie.
Totally agree with the above post. Once in a relationship contact with friends of the opposite sex changes out of respect for your relationship. He should be transparent about her and you should ask to be introduced to her as his girlfriend. If it's an innocent friendship this should not cause a problem. Think hard about your boundaries and standards you want in your relationship and are you being true to yourself with them. Your boyfriend should respect you and relationship, another girl in his life is not acceptable to you and once you know the truth then decide how you want your life to be and act upon it. Good luck.
Wow. I been through the same situation, but worse. I had to deal with my boyfriend having a female he considered his BEST friend. They were pretty close and I was really jealous. He would tell me all the time that there are no altered motives and that he liked her personality and that she is like one of the guys and I should get to know her. I battled this for a while. Regardless of how I felt, he never stopped being her friend. Eventually the more I talked to her, I began to vent to her about problems I had with him and she stood up for me and supported me. I began to like her and seen in her what he saw, she was a genuin person, unlike a lot of people I know. I didn't have anyone I called a close f riend, but she became one. Yes I was very clingy to my boyfriend which caused a lot of insecurities. The advice I c an give is get to know this girl and see why your boyfriend keeps her around. You will eventually see into the picture more. You will feel a lot better about the situation. He is with YOU, not her. If he wanted to be with her like that, he would. I hope this helps
That's great you had the chance to create a relationship with her and it all comes down to transparency and honesty from everyone. If only partners would intr their opposite sex friends to their significant others from the start it would save so much pain.
