Discussion: What do you think is the most important aspect in a relationship?
Hi friends!
This is my first time posting a thread and I wanted to ask this question:
What do you think is the most important aspect in a relationship?
Let me know what you think
@glistexnc
The most important aspect in any relationship or friendship is mutual trust and honesty😄. Coz a relation is guided by feelings and emotions of both the person, hence mutual affection is needed. If its one sided, its like chassing after one and it will hurt the other one.
Tagging: @AbbyHarris1976
@niceDaisy36
Exactly what I was going to say. Also support and acceptance. Your partner should be someone you feel you can always turn to. Sadly, I don't feel that way with my husband now.
@peacefulforest75
Hello peace, thanks for replying😊.
Yes support and acceptance also main thing coz all we need is support from our loved ones and that they will accept us and help us to move ahead.
Am sorry that you are going through a tough time now, yet dont worry, try to have communication with ur husband and just talk. Often proper talks helps a lot. And there are listeners here, you can always talk with us and post in forums and seek help from chatrooms as well. You are a lovable soul and everything will be fine with time.
Take care. Have a good day ahead 😊
@niceDaisy36
Thanks, Daisy.
I actually decided to take a break from communicating with him, because it currently feels very one-sided to me. I have been trying so hard, asking very little in return, and he seems to be trying very little and says what I ask is too much. So...I give up, at least for now but maybe this is just it. And I think that's ok too.
Ironically I just told him this and already he seems to be trying more and expecting less. Which of course makes it hard for me to keep "not trying," but so far I've stuck to it.
@peacefulforest75
Hello peace, am sorry about the tough time you are going through.but dont break down and dont give up even.
Its often in relationship or friendships that time comes when one person needs some personal space. May be becoz of some problems they are facing let in their job or some spheres of life.
Peace, you can try browsing listeners, am sure it will be helpful. Moreover if you wish you and your husband or for the time being you can opt for therapy even.
Take care of yourseld and have a good day😊
@niceDaisy36
Thanks.
I asked for a break even though really I do feel like giving up. I'm on day 2 and I still feel that way--if anything more so. I think that's ok too, and maybe the only way for me to get the love I need in a relationship is to leave this one.
@peacefulforest75
Peace, i hope things get better, it will be good if you talk with listeners here and browse based on the topic. so they will be able to help you. give some time to ur partner, a bit space. and within time i hope with communication, trust and believe, things will be better between you both.
And if later on you see its hard for you to continue this relation, there is always way to move ahead and make your life. But before that we can try to mend the relationship and live together.You did a good thing about taking a sort break.You will find person who will be with you always and love and accept you. I hope things get well between you two.
Takecare of yourself and your family, have a good day ahead
@niceDaisy36
Very true 👍
I believe honesty and fairness in communication, and communication in general is the most important aspect of any relationship. All relationships require communication, and without honesty there can be no trust.
Without honesty, we might as well be in a relationship with a scorpion. 😱 You never know when you might get stung ...
Also important is gentleness in being honest, as brutal honesty could alienate those youre in the relationship with.
Thanks for tagging me! 😊💕
@AbbyHarris1976 very wise...
@Butterflee
Thank you! 
@AbbyHarris1976
Thanks Abby for replying 😊
Yes you are correct about the 🦂scorpions.i have faced many fallen friendship where at the end i realised that oh those so called friends were actually fake friends and really scoprions ready to sting me.
I believe mutual trust and commitment to relationship and friendship is really necessary.sometimes we are in connection with people and we feel they also love us but actually they are faking just to get help .when those veils are removed and their real personality is discovered its really hurts.
Am happy to have some people in my life whom i love and they too, i hope our connection grows stronger😊
@niceDaisy36
What's really scary is that I've had it happen when them butterbombers know that I'm in a vulnerable position, reeling from and coming off a broken friendship relationship, and they move in to take advantage of that when I'm at my weakest, and I don't stand a chance. 
So, I take their word for it but once their true colors come out, it is like a BETRAYAL. 
Then, when I look back on it, I begin realizing that they may have just been playing me the whole time and I didn't realize it until later, and that's why I get so upset in the first place and consider it a betrayal, because thwn they play those kind of mind games, what they're really doing is LYING.
Thank you for your reply!
@AbbyHarris1976
Thanks for the reply 
.
I can understand about the butterbombers and betrayal thing.It really hurts when the true personality of a person is exposed as it then appears to be complete different from what we have seen them to be, coz they were pretty lying perhaps. A person's lie can never stop us finding true friends. i know it will hurt all time when we will look back the times spend with them, yet we wil have to accept at one point of life that, those person are history and not present now in our life. we have to move forward .Am grateful to have my friend and sister, who helped me to move ahead from all the fallen friendship.
Sometimes people just play games and mess us in a maze of fake words.its like a maze of mirrors(as if those mirror are those fake friends, telling that wow we are the real doors you can trust us to move ahead, but no!) we will walk and try to move thinking there's a road to move, but na we will strike the mirror only and end up hurting ourself.
About me when i trust a person, its bit by bit,it takes lot of time as i have seen fallen friendship who were the betrayers. All i want to say Abby is, forget about the person/ persons who betrayed you, or took advantage of you. Its all i believe that whatever happens in life, happens to teach us something and grow stronger.
If a person is breaking ur trust, try to talk with that person initially to sort out, but if they dont, then move away from them.You have a life, you are a good friend, am sure you will have loads of good and trusted friends." When God closes a door, somewhere he opens another window"
@niceDaisy36
Thank you!
I have to link you to that poem that I wrote and posted several places likening such relationships to a House of Mirrors. It's kind of a dark poem, but it's a good one. You'll have to scroll down to get to it, though.
Since we cannot repair the broken mirrors because we would get hurt from the shards, we have to pray to God to repair the broken mirrors for us. 
@AbbyHarris1976
yeah i remember your forum thread of the poems you wrote. Abby, please start writing the poems again
"Your heart and soul, my friend, is like a Hall of Mirrors. I walked inside the Hall of Mirrors to see your reflection, to see who you were.
Your reflection, however, was not the same, as the one staring into the mirrors. THe reflections were all someone else,
So, the Hall of Mirrors came crashing down like a house of cards, unable to stand under the weight of its illusion.
And now I hold a shard of a broken mirror and look into it.
But I do not see any reflection, only emptiness" { -By Abby}
@niceDaisy36
I usually come up with this when I'm not so busy and then post it when it comes to mind.
Trust. No matter what the nature of the relationship is, if you lose trust it means nothing. Trust allows both people to honestly to 'keep it real", even if the relationship changes.
Hi! Good question!
For me, this Q is easily answered in one (or maybe three) words - in part because I've talked about it or at least thought about it a lot!
According to me, the most important aspect in a relationship is: TRUST. and a very close 2nd, or perhaps a vehicle for TRUST is COMMUNICATION!!! So very important.
I'm not sure how you meant the "in a relationship" part - but for me anyway, these two aspects are quite -to- very important in basically every relationship I have: friend to friend, doctor to patient, client to counselor, neighbor who lives above you and you, etc. oh and definitely adult child to parent, and adult sibling to adult sibling. Even (M) to (L) here on 7cups! Yup, pretty much all relationships - for me anyway - are based on Trust ... and Communication is huge, and a powerful way of working toward building trust.
Platy
P.S. I know you did not ask for this, but a tad bit of extra information 
... I had a textbook in college (which was more like a 'regular' book, probably in the Self-Help section) with the title of "Relationships." The authors are Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, for whom I have come to respect greatly - even if 'just' through their writing. I really would like to meet them someday! I'm not quite sure of all of what they do outside of writing - but my guess is part of their time may be presenting/talking/seminar-ing about relationships for a weekend perhaps. Yes they are married and yes they are both doctors - within the psychology field.
P.P.S. I almost forgot! Their book now has an 'updated and expanded' Edition with the title of "Real Relationships: From Bad to Better and Good to Great." (okay, the end. actually now.)
Trust
@glistexnc To me it's their personality and trust.
@glistexnc unconditional total devotion and dedication
Do not think of your parteners as "posessions", everyone is a free person, think how you can make your partener want to hang out with you not out of "relationship duty" but because of fun and attachment, whether you enjoy things together or go through hell together...you know your half is with you even if your half cannot help...you go through things together...trust? I do not need trust, only weak people need "trust". If there is attachment and dedication no need for words like "trust"...just a look in the eyes and you know all...insecurity has nothing to do with a true relationship...communication? In a true relationship you arrive to communicate almost telepathically without words... you know how the other feels, you know what tje other wants to say..."i love you's" are exchanged in warm conspirative silence...a lough, a pinch, a touch, a glimpse...a hearty laugh or a gut wrenching cry...oh, true relationship...i resume it in one word: one! 1! Together as 1! You just merge, that's all, you feel what the other feels even over great distances...inseparable....
