Spiraling
Hi Friends
im trying to hold things together today but I’m spiraling. At the beginning of the year I was totally blindsided as my boyfriend of 9 years asked for a break. A month after that we tried therapy but it did not help our situation. He has slowly started since about a month ago stopped responding to me altogether and just was on *** and saw that he blocked me on there today 😔I’m so overwhelmingly sad and I don’t know how we ended up here. But every time I try to be positive or move on I’m consumed with thoughts of what I did wrong? Why does he hate me? I know I would depend on him too much for my happiness and self esteem which I know is not ok but it was unintentional. I wish he would’ve just at least stayed my friend after all the time we’ve had together it hurts that he just wants nothing to do with me😞 I’m horrified at life without him in, we barely ever faught and were solid for so long it’s just majorly *** up my brain. I also haven’t been able to see a therapist and have been trying to find one since my insurance changed but I will be going in second week of Nov. I for now am spiraling and not able to sleep I’m so tired of crying over him but I can’t help it. Thank you for listening 💙💙
@reservedMango5210
Hi Mango! I hope this message finds you well. I am so so sorry to hear about your boyfriend and relationship. I can imagine how difficult it must be for you. I want you to know that I am so proud of you for reaching out to get therapy and that you are doing the best you can. It will be hard for a while and it's okay to feel this way, but it won't be like this forever. You will find someone else who will treat you like a princess and that's what you deserve. Don't settle for anything less! You're amazing and we are here for you anytime! 💗
Thank you ♥️
@reservedMango5210 You're very welcome! ❤️
@fruityPond7887,
doing therapy is a great move, proud of you.
If you find a therapist that is emphatic, great listener the therapist might help you to look back and situations and learn from them about you.
Talking to other people with life experience who are non judging might help too.
I do that a lot after a very confusing period and a separation that turned hurtful although at first the door seemed open.
Looking back helps me to understand what happened although there will be questions unanswered. And that is ok.
@reservedMango5210
i am sorry you are struggling. i hope therapy helps but the questions you have about your BF feelings wont be answered unless you can talk with him. I am seeing so many people who have the same struggle it is hard to say why or what happened but if you try to look at the whole situation from a different view i bet you can gather some insight.
He unfortunately will not talk to me and I don’t want to be crazy I have sent too many unanswered texts so I’m afraid I’ll never know I can just know from the last time we talked we both said we were not mentally well, I was unable to find us a new couples therapist and he just stopped talking to me after that 😞 I feel like a huge failure like I let us down
@reservedMango5210
you are not the failure .......
in any relationship it is a 2 way street the breakdown and end or the effort to fix is something........ that comes from both. if one person is carrying the whole load it is NOT a relationship IMO Talking does not work with people who cannot or will not be honest.,,,,,,, that is what my spouse does....... therapy would be a waste because he is not honest about his feelings.
Some may enjoy the pursuit ..........some people do want texts calls etc begging them to talk to you they feel they have power over you......
i have not spoken to spouse in days ...........he broke this morning because i just have not tried to talk to him at all................... he was expecting a get out of the doghouse free card if he gave me silent treatment ........ i just did not respond like he expects .......
I know you may want closure etc but really will that change much.? No one want to be out there looking or dating but is a bad relationship just " better then nothing"
