He Won't Let Me Go

So I've posted in this section twice before about this guy. Same guy, new scenario. And it's got me on the verge of a mental breakdown.

Been involved with this guy off and on for more than two years. The big problem we have is he likes to date more than one woman at a time. Since last year, he has been seeing a 43 year old (he is 50, I am 29) and a 26 year old besides me. I was initially okay with this as long as we were all treated equally. That has not happened. He has cancelled dates with me because the others do not know he is a multi-dater and so when one of them wants to come over, he cancels on me. Sometimes he reschedules, sometimes he does not. The 43 year old found out about me a few months ago and demanded he dump me, but he told her no.

(and yes I know I have put up with this for far too long) At this point I moved to another state for a good job opportunity. I am a few hours away from him as he is currently working a temporary assignment for his job two hours away from me. He encouraged me to take the job and said we could set up regular nights where we would take turns seeing each other. A few weeks ago I went to him and we had a nice evening. The next day he was all distant on me with no good reason at all, and that weekend I barely heard from him despite me asking what was going on. I said enough was enough and was ready to move on. He popped up via text a few days later saying he was busy and he would come see me on a different night from what we had agreed on. He wouldn't say why but it wasn't hard to figure out that one of the others was available on a night he had reserved for me and he did not want to turn her down in favor of seeing me like we had agreed. Add in the stress of him getting distant after I had driven two hours to see him and I went ballistic. I told him that if he preferred them he shouldn't have made an agreement with me when we could see each other if he was just going to break it as he saw fit. They could have him.

That said, he is about to return to his regular place of work as his assignment is ending. He had given me a key to the house he was renting during his temporary assignment and I wanted to return it to him. This occurred last week. I just wanted to briefly meet up as I did not trust the mail with someone else's key, swap things, and let that be the end of it. And I told him such when I blew up at him. He never responded. The next day there was nothing so I formally requested that we schedule swapping. We had a dogfight and I told him I had accepted that he preferred the others and so I just wanted to move on. He said we could meet up next week (this week) to swap. Next day he pops up and he's all sweet and loving. Sorry, not buying it though some feelings remain. You can't just stop caring overnight. I asked him some questions which got ignored, and when I told him off he popped up saying he had been busy at work. Which I had no way of knowing and I told him that was part of the problem, that he never told me anything and never wanted me to support him so it was unfair to scold me for not knowing his plans. And that I knew moving on was the right thing.

Cue the weekend. He sends me a picture from an event he's working without any context. So I politely told him to stop bothering me unless he wanted to schedule when we could swap our items. Didn't hear anything from him after that the rest of the day or Sunday and I'm ok with this. I just want peace and to move on.

Yesterday comes around. He had initially suggested we meet up and swap keys as he would have the day off. I still had to work, but expected to hear from him in regard to a time and place. Nothing the whole day. So finally I asked when did he want to meet up and swap. He is moving back to his regular place of work this upcoming weekend, and there's no point in either of us driving too far to swap. So I said he had til Friday at 5pm to make arrangements. I am busy too and need to plan out my schedule. He finally responded to that and was very ugly, cussing me out and telling me not to make threats. I did not stoop to his level and calmly explained why I gave a deadline. He said he was stressed out with everything he had to do and was "very sad over all this." I told him I was too but did not see any other situation; he preferred spending time with the other two and I had accepted that. This led to some back and forth talking where he said he loved me and did not want to lose my love. Then why was I so easy to cancel on, I asked? He said it was because I knew about the others and was able to understand. So did that mean I was getting punished for knowing what he was like and yet sticking by him? He said no, he did not mean it that way. Conversation ended in a stalemate. No resolution; no day this week scheduled, no time, no nothing. I went to bed early very frustrated and upset with him.

I have told him several times that if he prefers the others to me, that us splitting should not be a problem. Yet he does not seem to want to address when we can swap keys. I even sent him an email this morning explaining how letting me go can be only beneficial to him given the other two. I texted him this morning telling him I had emailed and to please reply, that holding onto me did no good since he still had the other two he wants to keep dating. All he would say is that he's busy and he would read it later.

I am very frustrated and trying not to break down in tears at work. Why does he not want to let me go? When for a year now he has made it plain he prefers the others and has no problems cancelling on me for their sakes?