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Broke up before 4 years but still couldnt move on
unassumingJar1322 December 9th, 2021
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I was in a relationship with this person for 2 years and thise were the best two years of my life. I wanted really really good things for us and wanted eternity for us. But suddenly one day he said that he doesnt want to be with me anymore coz he thinks ilwe were better as friends and he tgought he loved me but he couldnt for the entire 2 years we were together. After that it was pretty hard for me to accept the face that he couldnt tell me what was going in his mind while I tried my best to share evwrything which was with me. And worst part is we share the common friends. So even if it is long we have to face each other once in a while. For the last 4 year I have avoidee every aituation to face him because i didnt want to but recently I had meet him in a friends wedding and all this feelings started coming back to me. Weird thing is this still hurts like it used to. I am still mad at him but looking at his face I think was it really worth it to be apart from this person for so long? I know it sounds confusing but I dont know what to do anymore. I am mad still because I still dont know why he did that. I heard from my other friends that he was insecure about himself and he thought i deserve someone better. But wasnt it upto me what I want? Was it so difficult to talk to me about this? May be i would have helped him. I dont know anymore whether to feel guilty or mad at him or sorry for myself that even after all this I am still thinking about him only. What should I do? Any advice on clearing my head would be really helpful

3
Wencanan December 9th, 2021
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You may remind yourself that he made a decision and it needs to be respected. That during the time you were apart you still grew, adapted, and did well for yourself. Understand that you are all you need and a companion is someone that you can share your happiness with, but they aren’t what *makes* you happy. He was someone you shared happiness with at one time and that will always be true. But you can share happiness with someone else too.

unassumingJar1322 OP December 11th, 2021
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Yes I want to. I genuinely want to get ouf this feeling. I may not be with him. But I dont wannna resent him and blame myself as well all the time. It is kind of eating me from inside. Also I am may be too scared to go down thata road. What if I screw up again? Iwhat if somebody else also find that I am not good enough for them? What if I am not someone with whom somebody wants to share their highs and lows? All these thoughts always remind me that I should not be happy for a long time. Because may be I am not supposed to.

Wencanan December 11th, 2021
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I can’t promise that the next person you date is going to be the one. It may take some trial and error. Compatibility is something special that you’ll have to search for. Just because someone isn’t right for you doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with either of you. You do deserve happiness, but I believe that comes from within first. The person that you belong with should be one that brings you up, supports you in your goals, and respects the relationship. You don’t necessarily need to have all the same interests but should be more or less on the same page about long term relationship goals.

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