What's one thing most people don't know about you?

Everyone around me thinks I am perfect. They assume I am always busy or too-good for them, and that I am strong-minded. But in truth, I am lonely. Whenever my stress gets the best of me, I lock myself up alone in my room wishing I could talk to someone. I wish I could be vulnerable. I feel fake. Not a single person in this world knows about my lack of self-confidence. I fear of pushing others away if I let them see my weaknesses. People often say I'm the sweetest and kindest person they've ever met. The idea of me being negative doesn't occur to anyone in the slightest. I do everything in my power to hide my sadness and loneliness, and it's eating me alive. I just want to talk to someone.

I put up a mask of arrogance because I know inside I am a soft person I am empath I trust people easily as for that lot of times I have been disappointed by people as nobody stick to their words so i am just defending myself against the negativity and hate around.

That my life is not going as smoothly as they think. Actually it's a worst phase that I'm going through.

That I was traumatised due to peer abuse/bullying and that I'm still haunted by it.

i sometimes tell fake stories about me to make myself interesting and to make people laugh

I write poetry sometimes.

I lost my absolute DREAM job at the end of 2016. I was a manager and was told there was complaints that I was condescending to people. I genuinely didn't realise. I spent years doing radio newsreading, trying to perfect that 'BBC World News' voice, and after losing the job, I blamed everything from my voice, to my sometimes lack of warmth because I'm always trying to be professional and not get caught in office politics. It haunts me to this very day. Sometimes it flashes across my mind before bed. And I think to myself, "I should never try to step up and do something big ever again. I'm a horrible person." So, I stop talking, I stop having an opinion on things and above all, I will never want to manage something so big and crazy ever again.

I love them so deeply... But fails to express it !!

I want all to be very happy... I wish if the pain of world would end all wud be happily living on the heavenly earth 😊😊

I love using procedures and methods to keep myself organized. I use a few to keep track of how many days I've gone without self-harming, like writing in a calendar. Other ones I use include writing in a journal, the various places I keep my schoolwork, and where I keep everything on my desk.

That I have been abused in my first relationship and that I carry that pain till date.

One way or another I sabotaged the relationships I had and also had very destructive/dangerous behaviours as a way of coping because I was(and still am) damaged due to that incident.

But I just got to realize the extend of it all now, 14 years later.