my doggerel (written while depressed)

@hitmeupimLayla Thanks. In my experience & from what I've gathered talking to a few other artists so far, "good feelings" are nice to have but it's the bad ones that are fuel for creative work. It's sorta like war...as someone once said, war is horrific to go through but it makes for terrific history books. 😝

@hitmeupimLayla Yeah. There's another side to it, though...if all I ever had was good feelings, as an artist I'd be like Thomas Kincaide. Yecchh! 🤮

Passenger's Lament

O Michelle, lovely Lyft driver,

A slim well-preserved 50 with brown hair,

Eyes like dark chocolate & a cute smile,

Rather tall, light-skinned with cheekbones high,

Hard-working in denim over toned thighs...

...& married, with two daughters & a son.

More haikus:

Make plans, silly fool
But don't blame a god for the
Law of Entropy.

Plans in the morning

Flare-up k.i.lls the head of steam

Sit down, uselessly

Because of the frost warning,

The tap goes drip...drip...drip

so the pipes don't freeze & crack

So quiet, regular, as interesting as watching paint dry...

My life is summed up in the dripping kitchen tap.

DIRGE

By the unit one afternoon I walked
The patio was empty, chairs & tables gone
Shade umbrella in the dirt by the front door
Under the 2nd-floor patio, broken, slack.
Walt* & I had sat & talked
Of what he did (& didn't do), the TV on,
Of what I told him of what I did
In the earlier of our stacks.

The next time I passed by
Maintenance crew: two in blue suits
The living room empty, with plastic "wood"
Flooring where the carpet had been.
No trace of our beer, of that guy,
Just the workers doing what they do
(Slap on the paint & call it "ready")
for the next tenant to pay & move in.

I'd sat with him, watching his fish
In the tanks, the long glass rectangle
Holding gallons of water, where they swam
Obliviously, around the "log" & "plants"...
Once I cooked, once I washed dishes,
Filters, lights out in the tanks, hangled
Against the glass wall. I turned to Walt:
Thin...his legs did not fill up his pants.

That was the last time I saw him.

Note: This is an edited version, to comply with 7Cups rules.

*name changed for privacy.

@slowdecline48 that's sad 😢 is that your friend you were talking about?

@Tinywhisper11 I've wrote 4 poems, all about my son joshua ❤

@Tinywhisper11 He wasn't a friend, exactly...more of an acquaintance. And a neighbor, as he was in this same aptmt anthill as me.

@slowdecline48 ohhhhh ok I remember you mentioned him before. Sorry sweetie ❤❤ even just a aquaintance or neighbour, death has a big impact on us. Gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤

Thanks, Lola. I just wish I could stop thinking about this stuff for a day or two...a week would be better. But it is in my mind regularly. Always thinking about mortality...when I'm cold sober, that is. Which is most of the time.

Sending peace. @slowdecline48

@slowdecline48 gives you the biggest tiny hug evvverrrr ❤ I love you ❤

How have things been going?

@bestVase7265 Eh... 🤷🏼‍♂️

Good of you to ask. Am mostly over an infection that I'm on an antibiotic for. Right now there's a touch of arthritis in the fingers on my right hand. I haven't done anything creative in a few days, between being sick & trying to keep up with chores.

Before I got ill this time I did go out to eat, at a place I had never been before. It was a bit pricey for my blood but it was worth it. Am still amazed to find a restaurant--of all places!--that carries Tempranillo!

That is always a challenge when you get hit with the physical stuff on top of everything else. But "eh" is better than horrible.

I am glad that you had such a lovely meal before you got sick. You are doing a great job in seeing things that you should be grateful for. @slowdecline48

@bestVase7265

I just remembered I didn't return the courtesy. 🤦🏼‍♂️ How's life treatin' you?

Thanks for asking. Things have been better to be honest. Very much on the roller coaster. But I am trying. @slowdecline48

Some free verse:

This is the chronic life.

Your symptoms flare, then

You go sit or lie down,

Depleted, the tank empty.

If you can you sleep

(nothing else to do)

It is easy, so easy

To let the days drift by

While you wait for

the final victory.

- copied from my journal

I could've posted this on any of more than half of the days, from about a year before my diagnosis to now.

How have things been going lately? It sounds as though you are pretty tired of it all. @slowdecline48

@bestVase7265 Thanks for the reply. I wasn't expecting one after all this time.

As for how I'm doing...the next badly produced poem will address that.

[CW: references to current events, prejudice, religious roots of said prejudice]

SAME S***, DIFFERENT YEAR

Staring at the ceiling again
Every night is the same
Holes open in your socks
same thing by different names.

Pavement wet, after the rain...
The sack demands time after time
"feed me", "water me", "excrete me"...
as the watchspring unwinds.

The horde runs the same old game:
The fortress's army strikes back,
The wolves' sheep get slaughtered;
The faithful march to attack.

This world's oldest animus
changes its name, at times
Now our enemies mutate, & recruit
young fools from our own tribe.

Turn your back for a minute:
your possession will be gone
The hands gripping it only look human
Too many degenerate spawn.

One day you turn around & wonder
"Where did all my time go?"
as so many before you did, ere they fell
in the world's oldest tableau.

Once it was the older verses
from which the venom flowed, dark & dim:
"His blood be on us and our children!"
"Crucify him, crucify him!"

From then to now, the later tome
stokes the rage of the faithful, without mirth:
"Why then slew ye the Prophets..."
"And We have sundered them in the earth."

There is nothing bad about that poem at all. You have some great religious and literary messages in there.

But I am sorry that you are still suffering and feeling like everything is changing shape and continues to just attack you in different ways from new directions.

It is so hard to see when it has been a long while that you are actually improving. That things have changed shape at all means that you conquered the devils of one shape. They are actually different devils now. Eventually the devils stop coming....@slowdecline48

@bestVase7265 it's not that the "devils" are always "coming"...the problem is there are always a few out there, waiting.

How are you? Anything better on your life?

Doing okay. Sometimes sleep is a little hard to come by, but I am definitely less worried about lurking devils around every corner. Trust me, they do slow down eventually. May your day have been a peaceful one. @slowdecline48

Hoping that you had a peaceful day. @slowdecline48

Thursday was a flareup day so I mostly slept..."peaceful" would apply, yes. 😂

Sorry for the delay in my reply. It wasn't a peaceful weekend for me with my son's play which we saw three times. It was good, but exhausting.

Sleep is a good way to recover. I hope the start of this week is better. @slowdecline48

It's okay, Vase. We all have lives outside of Cups, or most of us do, anyway. I don't expect you to return & post an answer right off the bat. You might not answer at all if a bunch of problems get dumped on your plate. Which is fine...we cannot control what happens to us.

Holy moly, these poems are amazing!! I love them, and I could see some of them as lyrics to a rock or metal song. 🤘 Going to swing by every time you post a new poem. Kind of makes me want to pick up the guitar right now and try to compose a song. Thank you for the inspiration man.✨

@ImpudentIncognito Thanks much. I didn't know you play the guitar...wish I could do that! I've always been an artist & more recently a craftsman, but never a musician. 

@slowdecline48 To be honest, I'm still kind of a noob with the guitar lol. I have been playing on and off here and there. I used to play clarinet in grade school up till senior high, and played piano as a wee lil' ***, around 5 years old -- also on and off with that instrument. I've always been interested in music but...it's...not a lucrative career in this day and age... I'd have to be VERYYY lucky, and I'm the opposite of that haha. I just play for fun, and enjoy doing so. If you have time, would definitely recommend picking up an instrument! It's one of the ways I relieve stress tbh. I channel my emotions through my music.

But anyways, your poems sound super lyrical, and I could rock with that. I love em!

Yet another haiku (because they're easy to make):

Another rough night

Looking through the rusted bars:

My h€ll in a cell.

Sorry for the rough night. That can be the hardest time of the day.@slowdecline48

@slowdecline48

Simply beautifully put together.

@David57 Am not sure which poem you're referring to, but thanks anyway. I do my best.

More haikus:

Lively as a stone...

Energy ebbed, at low tide,

Playing with your phone.

Pollen stops flying

One plague fades for another:

Heat, light, & butt sweat.

(Can you tell I'm not a summer fun kinda guy?)

I couldn't agree more. The heat has already been brutal. @slowdecline48