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my doggerel (written while depressed)

slowdecline48 May 31st, 2023

Did this one today...


LAMENT, MARCH 2023

Stare at the ceiling as the earth whirls blindly in the dark
as you lay there, ears ringing & head pain, as always
as your head hurts, spreading middle girth
Cold inside, halted, without a spark.

The occasional note as your gut slowly drains
from the meal of bolted flour, cheese, olives,
a manmade ration for the bipedal swine herd
Another day ebbs, another evening gains.

Stare at the ceiling as daily you know
Knowing inescapable: you're past the prime
the bald fact, always without tact,
Faded mirror never fails to show.

Staring upward as the ball hurtles in the black
around the hot bright mindless sun,
your stare as unseeing as the rock itself
a captive in a slowly rotting sack.


Feel free to comment, folks. Whaddaya think? I might post more poems here as the inspiration (for lack of a better word) strikes.

146
slowdecline48 OP April 22nd

[CW: references to current events, prejudice, religious roots of said prejudice]


SAME S***, DIFFERENT YEAR

Staring at the ceiling again
Every night is the same
Holes open in your socks
same thing by different names.

Pavement wet, after the rain...
The sack demands time after time
"feed me", "water me", "excrete me"...
as the watchspring unwinds.

The horde runs the same old game:
The fortress's army strikes back,
The wolves' sheep get slaughtered;
The faithful march to attack.

This world's oldest animus
changes its name, at times
Now our enemies mutate, & recruit
young fools from our own tribe.

Turn your back for a minute:
your possession will be gone
The hands gripping it only look human
Too many degenerate spawn.

One day you turn around & wonder
"Where did all my time go?"
as so many before you did, ere they fell
in the world's oldest tableau.

Once it was the older verses
from which the venom flowed, dark & dim:
"His blood be on us and our children!"
"Crucify him, crucify him!"

From then to now, the later tome
stokes the rage of the faithful, without mirth:
"Why then slew ye the Prophets..."
"And We have sundered them in the earth."

7 replies
bestVase7265 April 23rd

There is nothing bad about that poem at all. You have some great religious and literary messages in there.

But I am sorry that you are still suffering and feeling like everything is changing shape and continues to just attack you in different ways from new directions.

It is so hard to see when it has been a long while that you are actually improving. That things have changed shape at all means that you conquered the devils of one shape. They are actually different devils now. Eventually the devils stop coming....@slowdecline48

6 replies
slowdecline48 OP April 23rd

@bestVase7265 it's not that the "devils" are always "coming"...the problem is there are always a few out there, waiting.

How are you? Anything better on your life?

5 replies
bestVase7265 April 24th

Doing okay. Sometimes sleep is a little hard to come by, but I am definitely less worried about lurking devils around every corner. Trust me, they do slow down eventually. May your day have been a peaceful one. @slowdecline48

bestVase7265 April 26th

Hoping that you had a peaceful day. @slowdecline48

3 replies
slowdecline48 OP April 26th

Thursday was a flareup day so I mostly slept..."peaceful" would apply, yes. 😂

2 replies
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ImpudentIncognito April 26th

Holy moly, these poems are amazing!! I love them, and I could see some of them as lyrics to a rock or metal song. 🤘 Going to swing by every time you post a new poem. Kind of makes me want to pick up the guitar right now and try to compose a song. Thank you for the inspiration man.✨

2 replies
slowdecline48 OP April 26th

@ImpudentIncognito Thanks much. I didn't know you play the guitar...wish I could do that! I've always been an artist & more recently a craftsman, but never a musician. 

1 reply
ImpudentIncognito April 27th

@slowdecline48 To be honest, I'm still kind of a noob with the guitar lol. I have been playing on and off here and there. I used to play clarinet in grade school up till senior high, and played piano as a wee lil' ***, around 5 years old -- also on and off with that instrument. I've always been interested in music but...it's...not a lucrative career in this day and age... I'd have to be VERYYY lucky, and I'm the opposite of that haha. I just play for fun, and enjoy doing so. If you have time, would definitely recommend picking up an instrument! It's one of the ways I relieve stress tbh. I channel my emotions through my music.

But anyways, your poems sound super lyrical, and I could rock with that. I love em!

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slowdecline48 OP May 2nd

Yet another haiku (because they're easy to make):


Another rough night

Looking through the rusted bars:

My h€ll in a cell.

1 reply
bestVase7265 May 3rd

Sorry for the rough night. That can be the hardest time of the day.@slowdecline48

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David57 May 4th

@slowdecline48

Simply beautifully put together.

1 reply
slowdecline48 OP May 4th

@David57 Am not sure which poem you're referring to, but thanks anyway. I do my best.

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slowdecline48 OP May 11th

More haikus:

Lively as a stone...

Energy ebbed, at low tide,

Playing with your phone.


Pollen stops flying

One plague fades for another:

Heat, light, & butt sweat.


(Can you tell I'm not a summer fun kinda guy?)

2 replies
bestVase7265 May 12th

I couldn't agree more. The heat has already been brutal. @slowdecline48

1 reply
slowdecline48 OP May 13th

It's like that where you are, too?...you must live in the South. I'm in Florida, the appendix of the United States.

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slowdecline48 OP May 19th

Another haiku...


This is modern civ:

you are monetized;

silicone bolt-ons.

5 replies
slowdecline48 OP May 19th

Made the 2nd line too short...whoops. oh well

4 replies
bestVase7265 May 21st

Looks good anyway! It's the meaning that is important.@slowdecline48

3 replies
slowdecline48 OP May 21st

@bestVase7265 Thanks. Just thought of an improved version!...


This is modern civ:

computerized everything;

silicone bolt-ons.


I think that works better.

2 replies
bestVase7265 May 22nd

I like it. 😄@slowdecline48

1 reply
slowdecline48 OP May 22nd

Thanks. Am still trying to carry it further... If I can make a more complete version it will go up, though probably not in this thread. It won't be a haiku, I can tell you that much.

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slowdecline48 OP May 23rd

untitled

The factory has been running

for too long. The warranty expired

on too many parts that haven't been

replaced, the motors are rusted & tired;

R & D apparently walked off the job.

The casings are of corroded tin.

The CEO & accountant should be fired,

honestly. Quality control was fobbed off

to some corrupt firm in Shenzhen

when the blueprints for the factory

were drawn. This rickety outfit still

churns out product, cleaned every now & then,

but the truth must be stated clearly:

It should all be thrown in the landfill.


Can't quite believe I composed this on my phone...it's not the best tool for doing prose or poetry.

3 replies
bestVase7265 May 25th

So was this based in something you were actually seeing? @slowdecline48

2 replies
slowdecline48 OP May 25th

@bestVase7265 It's based on a self-assessment.

1 reply
bestVase7265 May 26th

Interesting, but you definitely don't belong on a landfill. @slowdecline48

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slowdecline48 OP June 10th

An Inner Light

The Plan takes shape,

of a mountain of tasks

necessary to leave the anthill:

I can't stay here until I kick it.

Outlines appear of land...

work...heat, cold, dust, dirt,

the chores of survival until

I have a home. My ticket

to rest, free from rental serfdom.


Dark nights & pain will come;

Episodes will flare & pass.

I can get through the pall

As long as I stay busy,

stick to the plan,

Recall just why I did it all,

And remember what is mine.


Better a stray dog than a caged lion.

1 reply
bestVase7265 June 11th

Great poem. I love that last line especially. It imagines that doing stuff actually allows you to be the stray dog rather than the captured lion. Your mind is freer when it is occupied by other things that when you are stuck in the depression cage. @slowdecline48

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slowdecline48 OP July 31st

Another haiku:


Time of transition:

Days of busywork, the Net.

Night: my art, hot takes.

4 replies
bestVase7265 August 1st

Surviving all the transition okay? @slowdecline48

3 replies
slowdecline48 OP August 2nd

@bestVase7265 So far, yes. Merci for asking. Today was wonderful...one of the best days of my life.

2 replies
bestVase7265 August 2nd

THAT SOUNDS AWESOME! Go you. @slowdecline48

1 reply
slowdecline48 OP August 2nd
Thankya much. If you're curious, you can read this (& the last few posts before it) to find out why.
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slowdecline48 OP August 10th

New to old to new again
Open the map app, punch in numbers
of places where you've once been.
Wondering what's changed, looking
for continuity, any kind will work
Zoom out, zoom in while the movie
in your mind plays in fast-reverse
Memories few, graying as they fade
into the freezing past of no color
You find each place, & it's changed.
A few are gone; others with new paint,
a couple surnames summon faces
of those surely long dead by now
You find little...a few small traces
of what no one else can see.
Time to close the app.

You can't go home again.


I don't know what to title the above poem. Any suggestions?

3 replies
bestVase7265 August 12th

Hmmm - Memory Maps or Traveling with My Mind?  But I am not particularly good at names.@slowdecline48

2 replies
slowdecline48 OP August 12th

@bestVase7265 As long as the title does not have G00gle in it, almost anything will work. Sure I use certain apps like everyone else, but only because they're bundled with my phone & so I can't wipe them out. Google is one of the great evil empires of the Internet/virtual world, IMHO.

1 reply
bestVase7265 August 14th

I totally agree with the evil nature of the big search engine. They were sued recently because they are such a monopoly. @slowdecline48

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