OUR ORIGINAL POETRY: Share It Here
Hello there everyone!
If you're reading this it means that you probably are quite fond of poetry and writing it to. This is a thread to post all and any poetry that you may have, be it happy, sad, angry or just silly. All styles are welcome (free verse, couplets, slam) and it would be great to have at least one poem up a day for all of us to enjoy together!!
@heartfulMusic18
hey i love this
but i would try to make a few changes
first of al,l ilove the beginning line of something defined by the without
so do the same for music - suggestion -music is a soul without its thought
also you are being intimate - casting your way - as in fishing is from afar too
distant - perhaps make it more intimate by saying casting my solace for you
also what is the Title?
it is wonderful
marty
@2genpoet I am so glad you liked it.. I will see what can be done for the music bit, I see what you are saying there. Cast my solace your way :) I don't title my scribbles.. would you want to suggest a title for this? Thank you for leaving your comments, I truly appreciate it.
@heartfulMusic18
Solace - ilove the word it makes a great title
cast has two meaning - to cast to throw away and to cast a spell in magic so what ever option you use has to make sure that you infer to the reader the magic context
Ergo Sum
The relatives who died in the war
have faded in and out of our lives.
Not alive, not even the littlest bit alive,
But then not dead,
Gone or lost in the war,
Maybe once or twice mentioned as dead or killed,
but this is stated
with such dispassion
that it seems not true.
But these wraiths neither alive nor dead
have a prevalence beyond persons here or gone.
So I am going to Auschwitz
to give them life,
to find them within the ledgers and the Lagers
within the piles of shoes,
within the ashes.
For you cannot be destroyed unless you were once alive.
So amongst the destruction I will prove their existence,
like a latter-day Descartes,
You were killed
therefore you were
and I will grieve.
@2genpoet, oh my . . .
There is a solemnity here, a gravitas.
"And I will grieve." A simple line with lovely rhythm.
The poem has a stateliness of a tolling bell . . . death knell.
@2genpoet The lines "like a latter-day Descartes,/ 'You were killed/ therefore you were' "
blew me away!
Keep your chin up little stargazer
At worlds above your own,
You are small but you are stardust
And that
@majesticSapphire Wow! Beautiful and Inspiring :)
@majesticSapphire,
This is lovely, absolutely lovely. I'd have read it to my son at bedtime every night, with a smile.
This is really something special.
@majesticSapphire
wonderfu[
the title is Stargazer of course - so put it there
why if - the stars are a wonder for us all
For every sun and solar flare
Is made up just like you,
They are a cause for wonder
And you, my sprite, are one too.
what do you think?
i love it
but i am having second thought
the original might be better =-
play around with it
@majesticSapphire
I really believe that this could be published, with lovely illustrations, as a children's book. I would buy it in a heartbeat!
Sure, my five-year-old wouldn't have understood all the meaning, but what child wouldn't adore the warmth, wonder, love, encouragement, and majesty expressed, together with truly beautiful, lyrical SOUNDS.
And they would deflinitely understand Be brave, little Stargazer. And all the moms and dads and grandparents and aunties and babysitters would get a lovely treat.
The Life of Death
A creature stood amidst the flowers
It had a sorrowful expression
He was known for his strange powers
The ones that emit depression
Surely those beautiful flowers withered
Fell into the arms of Death one by one
All around warnings were whispered
Better stay away from him, he's the devil's son
Death pretended not to care
It was easier that way
And although it wasn't fair
Alone Death grew gray
He was cursed right from the start
His existence was one of sorrow
Truly he had a big heart
Yet everyday he wished not to see tomorrow
Why must everything I touch die
I didn't ask for this
Never am I greeted with a 'Hi'
Instead they always hiss
Stay away you evil monster
You have no place here
Leave you giant imposter
You will not find a home near
Death withdrew in solitude
The pain cut through him like a knife
Forever he'll be viewed
As the enemy of life
(inspired by this wonderful video)
@Cheeney Ohhhhhhh thank you for the wonderful writing and the wonderful video... I have cursed him with all my heart so many times and this... I cant believe I actually felt for him!
@heartfulMusic18 Thank you for your comment! Yeah the video really amazed me because it brought a completely different perspective to the table and it was extremely thought provoking. Makes for good writing material
Make my bed feel much too small
Push me towards the edge
Keep me awake
With your incessant rustling
Leave my pillow
Smelling of shampoo
With a hint of cologne
And a whiff of you
Jump as my cold feet
Creep up your calves
To rest in the crook
Behind your bent knees
Wake me up
With musty kisses and bleary eyes
Laugh at my crazy morning hair
And listen as I grumble over your snoring
Sigh and curl an arm around me
Play the waiting game
To see who will first leave this nest
To turn the coffee pot on
And invited the day in
Grin in that easy-going way of yours
And let me revel in the fact
That I wake up every day
In this Elysium
@CourageDearHeart
oh my
oh my
Each detail, small & real & lovely
The combination is a knock out.
Elysium indeed.
@CourageDearHeart
Wonderful - I am so jealous of you
except for the cold feet
Popsicle toes- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VGZ6M6t4vA
i feel the simple joys of the relationship
but i would consider leaving out the last line
and perhaps just calling the poem Morning Elysium
let the reader feel the joy by himself like i did
dont shove it his face
@2genpoet
Ahhh that's a great idea. Thanks for the constructive criticism! And don't be jealous I don't have a lover right now, just really good at thinking romantically.
@CourageDearHeart aaahhh :) This makes a nice warm sunny Monday :)
@CourageDearHeart, I just read this poem again and -- wow.
The bold opening line is amazing. The staccato imperative is strong, and yet it takes a few seconds to figure it out -- and, when you do -- pow. And then the commands continue . . . each one more illuminating and tender than the next.
note: I am a child of a holocaust survivort
When I Get Older
When I get older
I will start to try to remember
What my mother has chosen to forget.
But in the meantime
leave me to glean fragments of words and glances
and set them aside.
When I get older
will start to build a legacy
out of the grey mists of the past.
But in the meantime
leave me the museums and commemorations
and the nod to my son, amid,
as if to say - this is somehow us also.
When I get older
I will start to embrace my wife
with all the words that end with–inity or -ence
like the magazines say.
But in the meantime
leave me to cling to her desperately
even as I wish to run away.
When I get older
I will buy a new diary with gold leaf
(And put away the loose-leaf binders of errant pages)
to write long and straight upon the ivory colored page
But in the meantime
leave me to scrawl in jagged sentences
that bend around stains and scribbles,
the story of my life.
When I get older,
I can start to imagine being someone
I hadnt imagined before
But in the meantime
leave me to sit on the park bench ,
between my parents,
eating sandwiches out of waxed paper bags.
@2genpoet This is so touching. I thank you for sharing it here.
Don't be swift to
write me off as unfriendly, withdrawn
When inside there is a
Tangled web of insecurity, apprehension
or A fight between facades
One with voice of silky timbre, charming and sarcastic
The other a tumble of words,
Stuttering and wayward
Don't be swift to
Label me arbitrary, superficial
When outside I am Unable
To articulate, express
Or connect gazes
Eyes cast down at two folded hands
Mouth clamped shut before my chance to speak
@RedMaple45 this is sooooo relatable! I wish I could carry it around and hand it to people : ) Loved it
@RedMaple45, you have articulated something very important, I think.
This poem reminds me to be very careful how I respond to people who are abrupt or cold to me, who are offputting or behave in ways that confuse me.
I admit I finished this poem a bit shame-faced, having been reminded eloquently that judging other people is a colossal mistake.
Thank you.
Thought my pastel rippling vertically, center bold and tumbling, venatical amplification wind blown, conspicuously cloaked now fumbling,
@Ruby2sh0es
iilike the line
lay me cupped in knitted yarn
but i didnt understand so much the rest
@2genpoet thank you it's about feeling like a watered down version of yourself in a world full of people engaged in the hunt but knowing you have an inner strength that's never been recognized but you get exhausted with the hunters and being presued love is a battlefield kind of thing so you wish to be nestled somewhere in the warm safe comfort of your grandmother's hands or a knitted foxhole
@Ahro, this poem is very compact--short but heartfelt. Thanks for sharing your work.
Missing Persons
She would sit alone in her room
after school
practicing her cursive to be smooth not spiky
til mother came home
after the pots were scrubbed in the cafeteria
and wait for her to lay on the couch
damp towel draped over her eyes.
I'm going outside,
She'd announce to her hand on the knob
and go out in the neighborhood
to find her sister who Mother said
was lost long ago during the war.
"It doesn't matter
If I'll know who she is,"
she'd tell herself,
ss she looked expectantly at the faces of strangers,
waiting to be found
"She'll recognize me."
@2genpoet This is such a heart-tugging poem. Sad and yet hopeful..."She'll recognise me..."
Frozen in time
I watched as time seemed to stand still
The whole world froze in place
As if someone hit the pause button if you will
And so it continued on for days
I glanced at my old watch made of steel
The pointers weren't moving one bit
Pain in my heart I feel
As if it had been hit
I stared at the joyful faces
Of people that I used to know
They're now in numerous different places
With loving families in tow
I missed being able to move forward
As a statue, I stand motionless in time
Silence surrounded me yet I heard
Words that were once mine
I regret not taking chances
Surely I could have done more
In high regards I used to hold my defenses
Now I wonder what for
I let out a tear
Looked at the people I used to call friend
How I wished they were here
As I held the pictures in my hand