OUR ORIGINAL POETRY: Share It Here

@Cheeney yeyy! Thank you : )

@heartfulMusic18

hey i love this

but i would try to make a few changes

first of al,l ilove the beginning line of something defined by the without

so do the same for music - suggestion -music is a soul without its thought

also you are being intimate - casting your way - as in fishing is from afar too

distant - perhaps make it more intimate by saying casting my solace for you

also what is the Title?

it is wonderful

marty

@2genpoet I am so glad you liked it.. I will see what can be done for the music bit, I see what you are saying there. Cast my solace your way :) I don't title my scribbles.. would you want to suggest a title for this? Thank you for leaving your comments, I truly appreciate it.

@heartfulMusic18

Solace - ilove the word it makes a great title

cast has two meaning - to cast to throw away and to cast a spell in magic so what ever option you use has to make sure that you infer to the reader the magic context

Ergo Sum

The relatives who died in the war

have faded in and out of our lives.

Not alive, not even the littlest bit alive,

But then not dead,

Gone or lost in the war,

Maybe once or twice mentioned as dead or killed,

but this is stated

with such dispassion

that it seems not true.

But these wraiths neither alive nor dead

have a prevalence beyond persons here or gone.

So I am going to Auschwitz

to give them life,

to find them within the ledgers and the Lagers

within the piles of shoes,

within the ashes.

For you cannot be destroyed unless you were once alive.

So amongst the destruction I will prove their existence,

like a latter-day Descartes,

You were killed

therefore you were

and I will grieve.

@2genpoet Amazing!

@2genpoet, oh my . . .

There is a solemnity here, a gravitas.

"And I will grieve." A simple line with lovely rhythm.

The poem has a stateliness of a tolling bell . . . death knell.

@2genpoet The lines "like a latter-day Descartes,/ 'You were killed/ therefore you were' "

blew me away!

Keep your chin up little stargazer

At worlds above your own,
You are small but you are stardust
And that

@majesticSapphire Wow! Beautiful and Inspiring :)

@majesticSapphire,

This is lovely, absolutely lovely. I'd have read it to my son at bedtime every night, with a smile.

This is really something special.

@majesticSapphire

wonderfu[

the title is Stargazer of course - so put it there

why if - the stars are a wonder for us all

For every sun and solar flare
Is made up just like you,
They are a cause for wonder
And you, my sprite, are one too.

what do you think?

i love it

but i am having second thought

the original might be better =-

play around with it

@majesticSapphire

I really believe that this could be published, with lovely illustrations, as a children's book. I would buy it in a heartbeat!

Sure, my five-year-old wouldn't have understood all the meaning, but what child wouldn't adore the warmth, wonder, love, encouragement, and majesty expressed, together with truly beautiful, lyrical SOUNDS.

And they would deflinitely understand Be brave, little Stargazer. And all the moms and dads and grandparents and aunties and babysitters would get a lovely treat.

The Life of Death

A creature stood amidst the flowers
It had a sorrowful expression
He was known for his strange powers
The ones that emit depression

Surely those beautiful flowers withered
Fell into the arms of Death one by one
All around warnings were whispered
Better stay away from him, he's the devil's son

Death pretended not to care
It was easier that way
And although it wasn't fair
Alone Death grew gray

He was cursed right from the start
His existence was one of sorrow
Truly he had a big heart
Yet everyday he wished not to see tomorrow

Why must everything I touch die
I didn't ask for this
Never am I greeted with a 'Hi'
Instead they always hiss

Stay away you evil monster
You have no place here
Leave you giant imposter
You will not find a home near

Death withdrew in solitude
The pain cut through him like a knife
Forever he'll be viewed
As the enemy of life

(inspired by this wonderful video)

@Cheeney That's amazing! !!!! I love it!!!!

@AB28 Thank you so much!

@Cheeney Ohhhhhhh thank you for the wonderful writing and the wonderful video... I have cursed him with all my heart so many times and this... I cant believe I actually felt for him!

@heartfulMusic18 Thank you for your comment! Yeah the video really amazed me because it brought a completely different perspective to the table and it was extremely thought provoking. Makes for good writing material

Noice

Make my bed feel much too small

Push me towards the edge

Keep me awake

With your incessant rustling

Leave my pillow

Smelling of shampoo

With a hint of cologne

And a whiff of you

Jump as my cold feet

Creep up your calves

To rest in the crook

Behind your bent knees

Wake me up

With musty kisses and bleary eyes

Laugh at my crazy morning hair

And listen as I grumble over your snoring

Sigh and curl an arm around me

Play the waiting game

To see who will first leave this nest

To turn the coffee pot on

And invited the day in

Grin in that easy-going way of yours

And let me revel in the fact

That I wake up every day

In this Elysium

@CourageDearHeart

oh my

oh my

Each detail, small & real & lovely

The combination is a knock out.

Elysium indeed.

@CourageDearHeart

Wonderful - I am so jealous of you

except for the cold feet

Popsicle toes- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VGZ6M6t4vA

i feel the simple joys of the relationship

but i would consider leaving out the last line

and perhaps just calling the poem Morning Elysium

let the reader feel the joy by himself like i did

dont shove it his face

@2genpoet

Ahhh that's a great idea. Thanks for the constructive criticism! And don't be jealous I don't have a lover right now, just really good at thinking romantically.

@CourageDearHeart aaahhh :) This makes a nice warm sunny Monday :)

@CourageDearHeart, I just read this poem again and -- wow.

The bold opening line is amazing. The staccato imperative is strong, and yet it takes a few seconds to figure it out -- and, when you do -- pow. And then the commands continue . . . each one more illuminating and tender than the next.

note: I am a child of a holocaust survivort

When I Get Older

When I get older

I will start to try to remember

What my mother has chosen to forget.

But in the meantime

leave me to glean fragments of words and glances

and set them aside.

When I get older

will start to build a legacy

out of the grey mists of the past.

But in the meantime

leave me the museums and commemorations

and the nod to my son, amid,

as if to say - this is somehow us also.

When I get older

I will start to embrace my wife

with all the words that end with–inity or -ence

like the magazines say.

But in the meantime

leave me to cling to her desperately

even as I wish to run away.

When I get older

I will buy a new diary with gold leaf

(And put away the loose-leaf binders of errant pages)

to write long and straight upon the ivory colored page

But in the meantime

leave me to scrawl in jagged sentences

that bend around stains and scribbles,

the story of my life.

When I get older,

I can start to imagine being someone

I hadnt imagined before

But in the meantime

leave me to sit on the park bench ,

between my parents,

eating sandwiches out of waxed paper bags.

@2genpoet This is so touching. I thank you for sharing it here.

@2genpoet This is great! Very powerful.

Don't be swift to

write me off as unfriendly, withdrawn

When inside there is a

Tangled web of insecurity, apprehension

or A fight between facades

One with voice of silky timbre, charming and sarcastic

The other a tumble of words,

Stuttering and wayward

Don't be swift to

Label me arbitrary, superficial

When outside I am Unable

To articulate, express

Or connect gazes

Eyes cast down at two folded hands

Mouth clamped shut before my chance to speak

@RedMaple45 this is sooooo relatable! I wish I could carry it around and hand it to people : ) Loved it

@RedMaple45, you have articulated something very important, I think.

This poem reminds me to be very careful how I respond to people who are abrupt or cold to me, who are offputting or behave in ways that confuse me.

I admit I finished this poem a bit shame-faced, having been reminded eloquently that judging other people is a colossal mistake.

Thank you.

Thought my pastel rippling vertically, center bold and tumbling, venatical amplification wind blown, conspicuously cloaked now fumbling,

@Ruby2sh0es

iilike the line

lay me cupped in knitted yarn

but i didnt understand so much the rest

@2genpoet thank you it's about feeling like a watered down version of yourself in a world full of people engaged in the hunt but knowing you have an inner strength that's never been recognized but you get exhausted with the hunters and being presued love is a battlefield kind of thing so you wish to be nestled somewhere in the warm safe comfort of your grandmother's hands or a knitted foxhole

Rain harms none but still I cry

Forget what's done, move on to night

@Ahro, this poem is very compact--short but heartfelt. Thanks for sharing your work.

Missing Persons

She would sit alone in her room

after school
practicing her cursive to be smooth not spiky

til mother came home
after the pots were scrubbed in the cafeteria

and wait for her to lay on the couch
damp towel draped over her eyes.
I'm going outside,
She'd announce to her hand on the knob
and go out in the neighborhood
to find her sister who Mother said
was lost long ago during the war.
"It doesn't matter
If I'll know who she is,"
she'd tell herself,
ss she looked expectantly at the faces of strangers,
waiting to be found
"She'll recognize me."

@2genpoet This is such a heart-tugging poem. Sad and yet hopeful..."She'll recognise me..."

Frozen in time

I watched as time seemed to stand still
The whole world froze in place
As if someone hit the pause button if you will
And so it continued on for days

I glanced at my old watch made of steel
The pointers weren't moving one bit
Pain in my heart I feel
As if it had been hit

I stared at the joyful faces
Of people that I used to know
They're now in numerous different places
With loving families in tow

I missed being able to move forward
As a statue, I stand motionless in time
Silence surrounded me yet I heard
Words that were once mine

I regret not taking chances
Surely I could have done more
In high regards I used to hold my defenses
Now I wonder what for

I let out a tear
Looked at the people I used to call friend
How I wished they were here
As I held the pictures in my hand