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OUR ORIGINAL POETRY: Share It Here

slayteralmighty January 16th, 2015

Hello there everyone!

If you're reading this it means that you probably are quite fond of poetry and writing it to. This is a thread to post all and any poetry that you may have, be it happy, sad, angry or just silly. All styles are welcome (free verse, couplets, slam) and it would be great to have at least one poem up a day for all of us to enjoy together!!smiley

3305
TheWhisperedRoar15 July 20th, 2015

Sorry, it's long.

Darling please believe me when I tell you that you're beautiful
For you can not see the fire in your eyes when you talk about your passions
The way your hands gracefully fly over paper
Drawing out poems, images, whole new worlds
Just to escape the one you are in

Darling please believe me when I tell you that your heart is kind
Doing anything to make sure that others
Never feel as broken as you

Darling please believe me when I tell you that you are good enough
That your calorie intake does not determine your worth
That the number on the scale does not measure how much you are loved
That even skin and bones will never satisfy your longing to be in control, to be perfect, to be enough
Only you can do that

Darling please believe me when I tell you that you are valuable
That you don't need to draw out your feelings in sharp crimson lines
Because the monsters within you do not lie under your skin
But deep within your soul
And the only way to kill them is to let others in
So you don't have to fight this battle alone
Because blades, lighters, fists, nails, bottles, and pills will only make them stronger

Darling please believe me when I tell you that you are loved
That just because he wasn't strong enough to withstand the whirlwind of passion in your eyes and the roaring oceans in your soul does not mean that you should calm your storm
But strengthen it
Let the fire roaring beneath your skin manifest itself around you
As you learn about your strengths and discover who you were truly meant to be
And those who are truly worthy to be in your presence will dance with you in the downpour
Instead of hiding behind boarded windows
Or worse yet, dampening the inferno inside of you
That was never meant to be quieted

9 replies
TheWhisperedRoar15 July 20th, 2015

I'm actually thinking about sharing this one at school, so any opinions or criticism would be appreciated

KnighTerrAin July 20th, 2015

Go for it, that's a perfect manifestation of thought

5 replies
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Annie July 27th, 2015

@TheWhisperedRoar15, I really like it. The first stanza is marvelous, it evokes wonderful and apt images.

I also love the image of the roaring fire under the skin. In addition, I admired the lines about "drawing out your feelings in sharp crimson lines" and that the "monsters within you do not lie under your skin But deep within your soul. And the only way to kill them is to let others in."

(My only negative reaction was that the phrase "caloric intake" seemed too technical and mundane for the poetic flow of the poem. For me, it was jarring.)

And the final lines are strong and real and impressive and I wanted to stand up and cheer: "That just because he wasn't strong enough to withstand the whirlwind of passion in your eyes and the roaring oceans in your soul does not mean that you should calm your storm."

heart

1 reply
TheWhisperedRoar15 July 29th, 2015

Thank you @Annie !! I really appreciate the compliments, and you make a good point about that line. Thanks!

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July 20th, 2015

SHE ⚫⚫⚫

Somewhere between surviving and becoming

She was right where she was meant to be

Through struggles and suffering

She fought to be free.

Wearing her pain and scars like trophies of a win,

Proud and graceful than she's ever been.

6 replies
Mephobia July 20th, 2015

Beautiful

1 reply
July 20th, 2015

Thank you @SophonisbaXavier :)

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lonelydeviantsoul July 21st, 2015

Brilliant. Thank you. :)

1 reply
July 21st, 2015

Thank you @lonelydeviantsoul :)

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Annie July 21st, 2015

Yes, @Duff26, I love this little gem, too. Lovely tone, important message. heart

1 reply
July 21st, 2015

Aww, thank you so much @annie :) this means alot to me <3

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NewRomantic677 July 20th, 2015

He had tears in his eyes That is, when I told him. That I've thought of the blade before. I saw it. He wondered why His hands shook. When I told him For a second I almost thought I saw him cry. I asked him nicely. I was sweet. Polite. His receiving nod, it was Slow. Quiet. And his hands shook As he drew a butterfly On my wrists On the slashes He kissed them goodnight. And just he left He wisphered He said I'll slay the monsters that live in your head And right then I knew I would be okay Never again will I forget That day.

6 replies
NewRomantic677 July 20th, 2015

Donno why it didn't come as paragraphs.. But I'm posting from the phone

5 replies
July 20th, 2015

The same thing happens with mine @newromantic677

1 reply
NewRomantic677 July 20th, 2015

*narrows eyes* hmm. Sttrranggeee

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Annie July 21st, 2015

@ NewRomantic677 @Duff26

Regarding line breaks: If you send me a message with instructions, I can insert line breaks for you. Just click on my name below (if you're 18 or older) to send me a message. Or, if you're 13-17, you'll have to write your instructions in a reply here. Be sure to tag me by adding @Annie to your post. Thanks!

2 replies
NewRomantic677 July 21st, 2015

Thanks @Anne

1 reply
Annie July 21st, 2015

@newromantic677.

Oh! I can't believe I forgot to comment on how much I like your poem! It is marvelous. heart

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erhoades July 20th, 2015

See Me

A mirror or crystal
I reflect and refract
Those looking past
I will always distract

For no one knows me
And that is safer
Than baring my heart
With its strength of paper

For if you look past
This glimmer and gloss
And then turn away
I will be lost

Too late, too late
Now you have seen
These things I hid
Behind the screen

Will you leave
Or will you stay
You know me
Please don

3 replies
erhoades July 20th, 2015

Critique and feedback please!

TheWhisperedRoar15 July 23rd, 2015

Love it, explains how I've felt lately

Annie July 27th, 2015

@erhoades, One of the things I especially admire is the rhyming. It's understated in most places, which I like. It brings interesting sounds to the poem, without clanging -- if that makes any sense!

heart

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erhoades July 20th, 2015

Understanding

Understanding is elusive
Words, language, emotions, thoughts
For some it comes easy
For me, within my head they

1 reply
lonelydeviantsoul July 21st, 2015

This is very relatable. Thanks for sharing.

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uniqueunique July 21st, 2015

Empty

Empty

I was ...

Empty

Numb to the pain feeling insane no room to complain because i had to be strong... noone understood me so i was the only one id listen to... being confused and lost lead to internal hatred a mind full of regret is what my life has painted... all i wanted was to be free... free of the mind that had enslaved me... free... of a soul that could no longer express itself because of fear... free... of the negative voices in my ears... free... of this fantasy and expectation that everyone seemed to live so simply... and as i numbed my soul from all the pain i remained empty -Unique

1 reply
Annie July 27th, 2015

@uniqueunique,

Wow, this is strong. I really really liked the final line:

". . . and as i numbed my soul from all the pain i remained empty." That just knocked me out.

heart

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NewRomantic677 July 21st, 2015

I rolled my eyes at romantics

their misleading antics

their innocent capers

their hope filled endeavours

they had an overwhelming capacity

for love

for kindness

and were always loved back

but I was alone

but then he came along

just a guy

not much

but he's seen my scars

and they've felt his touch

he kisses my demons goodnight

and he kisses my scars too

I used to roll my eyes at romantics

but darling, then I found you.

2 replies
Annie July 21st, 2015

@newromantic677 - Oh my (sigh) -- this is so beautiful. heart This is really something special.

1 reply
NewRomantic677 July 22nd, 2015

Thank you @Annie :) that means alot to me

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harana July 21st, 2015

Symptoms

The doubting of reality
I once ago read was
The first sign of insanity
I knew it true because
I seldom ever ever feel
A little more than halfway real
My head is full of stuff
I'm never here enough

It was a Monday morning when
I tried to write them down
Our math class had come to an end
On my face was a frown
Instead of words the voices think
I'd filled the one-fourth pad with ink
But it felt like that too
When voices spoke to you

Sometimes I try to tune them out
Therefore I sing or read
Here are the things they talk about
List down the things you need
Just look at all the mess you made
A shelter or a barricade
Perhaps a spot of tea
Please don't remember me

Inquire of the proper way
To set the stars on fire
Across the room is here to stay
A person you admire
You might want to recheck your notes
Sometimes metal on water floats
I'm right behind your ear
But no-one else can hear

The princess of non sequitir
Is too easy to find
And there is no mute button here
For silencing my mind
If I could scream then they might go
But that would be quite rude I know
And give people a scare
And would make people stare

The symptoms of some sanity
I do not even know
I lost touch with reality
A long long time ago

3 replies
KnighTerrAin July 21st, 2015

This turns me in to a puddle

crestfallen2 July 21st, 2015

This is my first reply I'm new here. I just wanted to say I feel the same way....I often speak my mind thru poetry and often hear it whispered in my ear. Along with the negative voices that want me to fear everything around me for reasons that aren't clear. It's hard sometimes to drown them out but the more I speak of my truth and light the stronger I get and the quieter they sound. Loved your words....great job...it feels good to relate!

1 reply
Annie July 24th, 2015

@crestfallen2, Welcome! I hope to see your work here! heart

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harana July 21st, 2015

Electric Weighted Blanket

I want to leave the world I'm in
Of longing and regret
I wish the world was kind enough
To be my oubliette

I'd always come if I was called
If they'd just let me stay
I'd always speak when spoken to
They'd always have their way.

I know they've always wanted this:
To leave me and forget.
I wish the world was kind enough
To be my oubliette.

It would be nice to disappear
Beneath a heavy cloud --
Can I be anywhere but here
For here is just too loud.

For here I fear, for here I cry
There's too much going on.
And here I fear I won't know why
I fear I won't go on.

Can I be where the world is still
Where silence muffles speech
Can I be where I can be 'til
I can't ever be reached

Can I be where my face is dry
Of pained, confusing tears
Can I be where my lullaby
Is not a list of fears?

Can I be where the world is warm
And where the world is dim?
Where I am far from all alarm
Where I am close to Them

2 replies
Annie July 21st, 2015

Dear @harana,

This poem is . . . stunning. Technically and thematically. Beautiful.

1 reply
harana July 21st, 2015

Thank you!

Actually, I just wrote this, trying to pin down what I'm feeling right now. I don't even have (nor have I ever had) an electric weighted blanket, but I bet it would feel nice.

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KnighTerrAin July 21st, 2015

My heart is in a bottle, floating on a sea in a storm, you could say I'm safe in here, but I'm not free, outside is only drowning flooding defeat. Inside is trapped to observe the wondrous world in the sky and beneath my feet. If I stay here, maybe someone will read me. What they'll see I cannot speak. I could float till I find an island, it might not be paradise. I could press against the glass and watch my life pass. Only to remember my past. Or I could break the container. Sink in blame and fall apart like paper. Drag across the broken shards and watch my ship depart. Drown in the ocean while held down by the storm. Knowing my last moments would be free. But torn