OUR ORIGINAL POETRY: Share It Here

@ NewRomantic677 @Duff26

Regarding line breaks: If you send me a message with instructions, I can insert line breaks for you. Just click on my name below (if you're 18 or older) to send me a message. Or, if you're 13-17, you'll have to write your instructions in a reply here. Be sure to tag me by adding @Annie to your post. Thanks!

Thanks @Anne

@newromantic677.

Oh! I can't believe I forgot to comment on how much I like your poem! It is marvelous.

See Me

A mirror or crystal
I reflect and refract
Those looking past
I will always distract

For no one knows me
And that is safer
Than baring my heart
With its strength of paper

For if you look past
This glimmer and gloss
And then turn away
I will be lost

Too late, too late
Now you have seen
These things I hid
Behind the screen

Will you leave
Or will you stay
You know me
Please don

Critique and feedback please!

Love it, explains how I've felt lately

@erhoades, One of the things I especially admire is the rhyming. It's understated in most places, which I like. It brings interesting sounds to the poem, without clanging -- if that makes any sense!

Understanding

Understanding is elusive
Words, language, emotions, thoughts
For some it comes easy
For me, within my head they

This is very relatable. Thanks for sharing.

Empty

Empty

I was ...

Empty

Numb to the pain feeling insane no room to complain because i had to be strong... noone understood me so i was the only one id listen to... being confused and lost lead to internal hatred a mind full of regret is what my life has painted... all i wanted was to be free... free of the mind that had enslaved me... free... of a soul that could no longer express itself because of fear... free... of the negative voices in my ears... free... of this fantasy and expectation that everyone seemed to live so simply... and as i numbed my soul from all the pain i remained empty -Unique

@uniqueunique,

Wow, this is strong. I really really liked the final line:

". . . and as i numbed my soul from all the pain i remained empty." That just knocked me out.

I rolled my eyes at romantics

their misleading antics

their innocent capers

their hope filled endeavours

they had an overwhelming capacity

for love

for kindness

and were always loved back

but I was alone

but then he came along

just a guy

not much

but he's seen my scars

and they've felt his touch

he kisses my demons goodnight

and he kisses my scars too

I used to roll my eyes at romantics

but darling, then I found you.

@newromantic677 - Oh my (sigh) -- this is so beautiful. This is really something special.

Thank you @Annie :) that means alot to me

Symptoms

The doubting of reality
I once ago read was
The first sign of insanity
I knew it true because
I seldom ever ever feel
A little more than halfway real
My head is full of stuff
I'm never here enough

It was a Monday morning when
I tried to write them down
Our math class had come to an end
On my face was a frown
Instead of words the voices think
I'd filled the one-fourth pad with ink
But it felt like that too
When voices spoke to you

Sometimes I try to tune them out
Therefore I sing or read
Here are the things they talk about
List down the things you need
Just look at all the mess you made
A shelter or a barricade
Perhaps a spot of tea
Please don't remember me

Inquire of the proper way
To set the stars on fire
Across the room is here to stay
A person you admire
You might want to recheck your notes
Sometimes metal on water floats
I'm right behind your ear
But no-one else can hear

The princess of non sequitir
Is too easy to find
And there is no mute button here
For silencing my mind
If I could scream then they might go
But that would be quite rude I know
And give people a scare
And would make people stare

The symptoms of some sanity
I do not even know
I lost touch with reality
A long long time ago

This turns me in to a puddle

This is my first reply I'm new here. I just wanted to say I feel the same way....I often speak my mind thru poetry and often hear it whispered in my ear. Along with the negative voices that want me to fear everything around me for reasons that aren't clear. It's hard sometimes to drown them out but the more I speak of my truth and light the stronger I get and the quieter they sound. Loved your words....great job...it feels good to relate!

@crestfallen2, Welcome! I hope to see your work here!

Electric Weighted Blanket

I want to leave the world I'm in
Of longing and regret
I wish the world was kind enough
To be my oubliette

I'd always come if I was called
If they'd just let me stay
I'd always speak when spoken to
They'd always have their way.

I know they've always wanted this:
To leave me and forget.
I wish the world was kind enough
To be my oubliette.

It would be nice to disappear
Beneath a heavy cloud --
Can I be anywhere but here
For here is just too loud.

For here I fear, for here I cry
There's too much going on.
And here I fear I won't know why
I fear I won't go on.

Can I be where the world is still
Where silence muffles speech
Can I be where I can be 'til
I can't ever be reached

Can I be where my face is dry
Of pained, confusing tears
Can I be where my lullaby
Is not a list of fears?

Can I be where the world is warm
And where the world is dim?
Where I am far from all alarm
Where I am close to Them

Dear @harana,

This poem is . . . stunning. Technically and thematically. Beautiful.

Thank you!

Actually, I just wrote this, trying to pin down what I'm feeling right now. I don't even have (nor have I ever had) an electric weighted blanket, but I bet it would feel nice.

My heart is in a bottle, floating on a sea in a storm, you could say I'm safe in here, but I'm not free, outside is only drowning flooding defeat. Inside is trapped to observe the wondrous world in the sky and beneath my feet. If I stay here, maybe someone will read me. What they'll see I cannot speak. I could float till I find an island, it might not be paradise. I could press against the glass and watch my life pass. Only to remember my past. Or I could break the container. Sink in blame and fall apart like paper. Drag across the broken shards and watch my ship depart. Drown in the ocean while held down by the storm. Knowing my last moments would be free. But torn

My life is just bitter memories. Bitter enemies. Vengeful tendency. Memorable tend to speak. If I could make them the enemy I would. Yet amongst them is my love. Every time. The worst fairytale left silence to mime. They turned my friends, my friends turned to them. Yet everytime there's always one in mind. Me and her would seem fitting. Like we could take a seat and fit in. We wouldn't be in place or out. But together I would hear no doubt. The blank expression would only speak the warm thoughts. Even without talk the atmosphere would be love caught. But they are stuck to them. And I could not rend. I couldn't come in between what I see for what I think was seen. I suppose it's like romeo and Juliet. Yet I have no one one my side. I just have to walk to the slaughter to love in my demise. Yet I do not die, just another slice of my heart will say goodbye. everytime. It seems new. I've seen lies. I try. Stay by the guide. Play nice don't play their games. Leave it to silence. Don't speak names. Can't complain, it's just my pain. Never get to know what they felt. Feelings never get tamed. Never feed the flames. Just watch the clock and let my heart stop. Set the hands on fire and hold the barbed wire. Just to stay at the fence. Where I could see the love, and let it become past tense. Always walking into the lions den. Just to hear her laugh one last time. Always bleeding through the pen. Just to wait until she says when. But what then, I would have had an idea. Nothing here. Nothing went. Just time spent

Wow.. I love this :)

YOU AND ME ⚫⚫

Let's create magic, You and I,

Let's cause a riot while the world passes by.

I'll take your hand or you take mine,

Either way darling, it's a pairing divine.

Have your way with me, Let all else be.

Guide my mind and lead me on

You and I can never go wrong.

So let's make memories

Even thoughtful reveries.

With moments so intense

Creativity so immense.

None can match up to

As I walk this path with you.

So let's create magic then...

Just me and you, oh trusty friend

On paper so thin and flimsy

For all the others to see.

The magic of creativity,

The magic of you and me. ⚫⚫⚫

This is a little something I wrote for my one passion I hold so dearly, Art, my therapy, my escape, my love :)

@Duff26, this is wonderful!

Thank you @annie :)

DENIED

Isn't it lovely, they say
Seeing the glittering lights in the darkness
Walking towards higher heights
Humming to the sounds of the buzzing voices of hope.

Which door have they opened, I wonder
Blinking through the blinding darkness
Crawling towards the abyss, lost in a labyrinth
Deafness wished, banshees making my ears bleed.

Isn't it lovely, they say
Dancing to the music of a million options
Smelling the flowers of sweet memories
Tasting the overwhelming flavours of life.

Which road have they taken, I wonder
Stumbling into walls that leave nothing open
Breath taken away by the fumes of a million dead memories
Hunger killed by the tastelessness of the big nothing.

There! I see it! Right ahead of me!
The glittering lights, on the heights,
Laughter and music, sweetness and hope.

But no! There he stands! This grey being! Again!
A stamp in his hand, pressed against my forehead
Holding a mirror in front of me,
Access Denied!

Pushed backed, stumbling, crawling
Limbo, breathing-taking, energy-sucking
Then I finally see it: the door! Oh sweet relief!
Looking back over my shoulder, turning around,
steadily walking towards it.

What is the limbo?

@MissZ,

This poem is really interesting. I've read it ten times, and keep finding different shades of meaning. Very cool.

Dear @MissZ, I've been reading this poem over and over, too -- it's truly wonderful. My favorite line is:

Dancing to the music of a million options

I adore the alliteration and rhythm of it!

I imagine throngs of elite insiders with glittering prospects open to them, having no idea what it's like for the non-privileged outsider to open important doors, the difficulty of even finding the right door . . . .

When I first read it, I was unsure of the ending. But upon rereading the final stanzas several times, it seems to me that the venturer finds the door on her own and, with sweet relief and admirable fortitude, walks resolutely toward the goal.

Trigger Warning.

I remember us by the river,

The one with pebbles and sand

You folded your trousers,

And took my hand

We danced in icy stream

Lips pursed cold

And eyes gleaming a smile

You cupped my neck

And that kiss foretold, your vile - drowning

I heard my heart murmur

While you held me under water

"What sorrow did I bring?"

@SophonisbaXavier, I love the vivid, tactile images: "the river, the one with pebbles and sand," and "cupping my neck." And the end is hauntingly written.

You're never in the present,
And only once in the past.
Love I have come to resent,
By the shadow you have cast.
Upon my childhood smile,
And I have waited for awhile,
To feel like I belong.
You twist my tongue,
So constantly I'm on trial,
And my weary words
Though unheard
Are not what they seem.
What did you mean?
When you let me dance on your shoes,
Then on my heart leave a bruise,
So I can no longer
Look people in the eye.
Even though I try
I know I will forever feel the pain
As fresh as the day you left me
Now I can never be set free,
from the
overwhelming question
Why?
As our bond fades, like
Imploding stars,
In the
Night
sky.

Dear @the truthIsALie1 - This poem is powerful in its message and effect on the reader. And it has interesting rhythms, rhymes -- I especially like the first four lines. Thank you for sharing it here.

Let's hold our bloody hands together.

Reminds me of Macbeth

Expect to accept the excerpt. Except...

Ballad of the Mind - by G

You don't know where to begin

You don't know where to start

You thought the world was on your side

Until it left you in the dark

It's that feeling you get

When you're alone in the rain

Then you're hit with the blues

So you question if you're sane

You question if you're sane

'cause nothing makes no sense

You fear a brand new day

You can't bear that suspense

It's like running from the shadows

You're surrounded by a fence

So scared that you can't climb it

Frozen and too tense

The shadows creep up on you

As you panic in despair

If not for the pouring rain

You'd be drenched in your own tears

It's like you're taunted for no reason

Or the reason's just unclear

And you contemplated leaving

But then you contemplated fear

Minutes, days and weeks and month

And years have all gone by

Suddenly it all makes sense

And the sun begins to shine

It's almost like you held yourself

Captive in your mind

Like nothing happened

Though you wasted precious time

So many times you've asked yourself

Why am I alive

What's my purpose and would things change

If I were to die

Then maybe that old lady

That I helped across the street

Might not have made it

Then should would be deceased

I don't know the answers

It's hard to find a clue

But if I see somebody in the rain

I'll have an umbrella for them too

I really like this poem, it feels like the lyrics to a song. I especially like the first 9 stanzas. They were especially moving, I thought.