Module 2. Distress Tolerance: (Discussion #4) Self-Soothing
DBTuesday is a series of posts where we explore skills and concepts from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT).
This is one of several posts focusing on distress tolerance, which is the second module of DBT skills training. See this post for general info about DBT and this post for more info about distress tolerance.
What is self-soothing
Self-soothing is nurturing ourselves with our senses:
- Sight
- Hearing
- Touch
- Smell
- Taste
The goal is to feel as relaxed and comfy as possible. 😊
Examples of self-soothing
Here are just some ideas but you can pick whatever works for you that feels like it’s easy and effective.
1) Sight
- Find beautiful photos that you enjoy looking at (e.g. art, landscapes, beaches, mountains, flowers, cities)
- Spend time in nature and enjoy your surroundings (e.g. trees, grass, flowers)
- Look at the sky (e.g. sunrise, sunset, stars at night)
- Watch a movie with beautiful cinematography
- Go to a museum or gallery and enjoy the art
2) Hearing
- Listen to your favorite music
- Listen to natural sounds (e.g. breeze, birds, waves)
- Listen to an audio book, podcast, or TV show you enjoy
- Talk to a person you like whose voice you enjoy hearing
- Play a musical instrument or sing
3) Touch
- Take a warm shower or bath
- Wrap yourself in a soft blanket
- Pet an animal
- Give someone a hug
- Wear comfortable clothes
- Use a moisturizer or lotion
- Receive a massage
- Touch something smooth or fluffy
4) Smell
- Smell a flower
- Use a favorite perfume, cologne, or lotion
- Light a scented candle
- Notice scents of nature
- Cook a meal that smells delicious to you
- Buy some flowers or indoor plants you would enjoy smelling
- Go someplace where you enjoy the smell (e.g. flower shop, perfume shop, restaurant, bakery)
- Hug a person you love whose smell makes you feel calm
5) Taste
- Cook your favorite meal
- Go to your favorite place to eat
- Eat some snacks or comfort food (in moderation)
- Make yourself a cup of coffee, tea, cocoa, or anything else you enjoy
- Eat a piece of fresh fruit
- Chew gum or eat some sweets
Reflection
What are your favorite ways to self-soothe?
Sources:
https://dbt.tools/distress_tolerance/self-soothe.php
https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/distress-tolerance-dialectical-behavior-therapy-0117134
https://www.verywellmind.com/coping-with-stress-using-self-soothing-skills-2797579
Just sharing my own favorites:
- Changing into comfortable clothes (hoodie/sweatpants)
- Draping a blanket over my head and hugging myself with it
- Listening to music
- Meditating
@QuietMagic
I learned that I love my meditation app. I love the voice of the lady she calms me and the way she explains the journey while meditating. Hearing her gives me peace of mind. So it’s very true. I also love listening to music it helps me block out any type of negativity and it helps to immerse myself into a different frame of mind.🤍
@WhiteRoses25
Ooh, yeah I haven't listened to any guided meditations in a while, but I remember certain ones I used to love where like you said, just hearing the voice itself is almost like a cue that makes me instantly calm down. 😊
I like music for the same reason that it's like there's this energy outside of me and I just kind of get absorbed into it.
Lately I have really been missing professional massages, but I do use some massage tools which still feel nice to use. A warm bath feels good especially when chilled. When my medical treatment makes me feel hot and burnt a cold smoothie or even better bubble tea as chewing the pearls is soothing too.
@AffyAvo
All of those things sound amazing... I feel better just reading and imagining them. 😊
@QuietMagic :) Some of my favorites are - being outside in nature - watching the sky - the birds
Listening to music or the birds or even the wind through the trees
Petting the animals we have
I love the smell of apples and oranges - and the smell of fresh cut wood
Coffee! And sweets lol
@mytwistedsoul
Wow, I'm getting a visceral response when you start talking about all of those smells, lol. Sounds fantastic.
@QuietMagic The wood is the best. Each kind has its own different smell :)
How I self sooth . Music is huge to me I'm big into lyrics and instrumental sounds taking a bath with bubbles and candles lit no light on sitting in the dark listen to pod cast ted talks with a fuzzy blanket or a silky blanket lighting candles dropping wax in the warmer and just day dreaming
@diamondintheROUGH2022
I love music too. 💜 All of those things you mentioned sound wonderful. 😊
I like anything which has to do with nature. Seeing (horizon, landscapes or animals), hearing (any sounds of nature), smelling (flowers, moisture of water, other scents of forest and other environments).
I also definetely like beautiful cinematography. For hearing I like listening music and occasionally I sing.
Touch is another major thing. Blanket, hugs, shower for certain. Pets, massage and something smooth or fluffy.
Less for smell, but nature and food for certain. Favorite food for taste too.
@windSpirit
Nature sounds like it really checks off all of the boxes simultaneously. 😊 Touch is a great one too with there being so many ways to tap into that.