Help too severe to treat but high functioning
My shrink has said that I have severe bpd and when in crisis I am a nightmare. I get that. I self harm, I od and I get anxious, I get angry... You get the picture.
The problem is in crisis I'm still high functioning and able to work in it for the most part. When jot in crisis I hold a responsible job and work 9-5 making most health care in my country out of the question. He said most therapies wouldn't work on me as im too self aware and knowledgeable of myself but in a crisis I'm a nightmare.
I don't know what to do. I never thought if myself of having severe bpd. I always thought it was mild but now I feel isolated and alone. I want to engage with people even less. I feel thsy I am a disease that cannot be fixed.
I do not know what to do and I'm looking for some guidance. This is the first time in my decade long diagnosis that I feel completely confused and alone.