A place for Vase and Berry
Hi @bestVase7265 This is a place where we can chat with each other. Thank you so much for supporting me, Vase. I'm very grateful and I'm happy to continue our previous conversion here. 😊
ouch my hand hurts. i fell on it so bad. right hand. it's so red and throbbing and hurts.
been having such a good day and and was just jumping around a bit because i felt good. have no idea what happened but then i found myself fallen down on the floor on my stomach. like bit on the side. and my hand hurts so bad. actually my entire right arm hurts.
how on earth did i even fall like that? i didn't even realise when i fell, i didnt see or feel myself fall. i something feels really wrong with my body.
i have already been having some sort of a problem with my wrists lately if i write a lot and write too fast. i hope this doesnt make it worse.
also, it's 11:31 pm. where did the day even go by? i woke up, i got ready and had breakfast, and did some cleaning in my room like changing my bedsheets and dusting. then it was already time to shower and so i did. ooh and i also cut my hair! that did take time but i love how it turned out. anyways, i then had lunch and when i tried to study, i wrote a little and then wanted to lie down for 5 minutes so i did, and i fell asleep and nobody woke me up. i woke up like an hour later. i never fall asleep like that so i dunno what's going on. and then my mother came to teach and that took a while but we didnt really do much, and the whole day has somehow gone by. just like that.
Some days just go by fast. That's okay too. You did the stuff that you were supposed to do and you were relaxed about it.
I hope that the wrist injury heals soon. Those kinds of things just happen sometimes. I can't tell you the number of times that I injure myself (sometimes while sleeping) and I have no idea how I did it. But if you are patient then the pain lessens. @exuberantBlackberry9105
i hardly did any homework yesterday. and i stayed up till 4 am. now i have a truckload of work to do today. and the worst part, it's saraswati puja today. i hate this. we have to go to the temple and eat bhog thee which will be our lunch. i hate this i hate this i hate this. i hate going to that temple, it's so depressing.Â
the temple we go to is doing the puja tomorrow. so i don't have to go to that depressing place. i hate going there so much, i just hate it for some reason. in general, i don't hate visiting a temple. not that i like it, but it's just fine sorta thing. but i have some kind of a problem with this particular one and every time i go there, i come home and cry and have bad thoughts. i even cried sitting at the temple once. i just hate that place. something about the atmosphere there just doesn't work for me. yeah, so they're doing saraswati puja tomorrow and my mother will go while i go to school to get away from this. yay! now i have to so homework. it's so much.
i fell asleep today afternoon too. more like evening. i was feeling so awful, i was sleepy and everything just hurt and i wasn't doing my homework. so i decided to take a nap. when i went to bed, i started crying a lot and fell asleep at some point. my mother woke me up at 7 pm. that's 2 hours spent in bed crying or sleeping.
and i have a ton of work to finish now. it is just too much work and i have no idea how to finish it. i thought i would use this weekend to catch up with all my old schoolwork, but that didn't happen. now i dunno how i'll manage everything during the week. i have lots of submissions. and projects to work on. what do teachers even think of us? do we look like robots?
you know, i'm tired of school. i'm tired of homework. there's so much homework that i have no time to actually study. then i have this huge issue is procrastination. all because i'm overwhelmed with the amount of work. if it's very little work, i have the motivation to do it, you know? its like "i just have to finish this one little thing and then i'll be all done and i can relex." but that doesnt work when there's this much neverending work.
i remember when i was in 4th grade, i'd come home from school at 3 pm and immediately get all my homework done. and i would actually get all of that day's homework finished that day itself. the max that i worked till was 8 pm. and it's not like i worked nonstop from 3-8 pm. i'd eat some snacks in between, even have time to go to the park to play every day, and also attend drawing and music classes. i didnt have thos classes ever day, but played with my friends in the park every single day. and still finished all my homework on the same day.
now i come home from school at 3 pm, then spend over an hour showering and getting ready, then eating and not starting homework till af least 5:30 pm. that's the earliest i can ever start. and i never once leave the house after i get home from school. no playing with friends, no friends to play with, no classes to attend. just sit in my room and waste away my life. trying to do homework, watching youtube or cupsing, or just in general being distracted and slow with work.
what's wrong with me? and why so much homework? the more the homework, the less motivation i have to do it.
winter is officially over. it's vasant panchami. that's the first day of spring. and i know this is harsh and many people love spring, but i hate spring. one day it's hot and the next it's cold. so unpredictable and easy to get sick during spring. the weather is still so dry. perfect combo of all the things i don't like. summer is bad too but at least in summer, it's more predictable and we have holidays during the hottest days.
it's february and i want monsoon season already. i love rain i just love rain, have always loved it. i want rain. just some rain please. i want it to rain.
what the heck am i doing typing this at 2 am? trying to do homework and this weather thing is constantly popping up in my mind. needed to get it out. ugh.
Let's focus on the good in there - you ended up not having to go to the temple that you didn't want to go to.
I know the homework feels intense. I wish I could make it go away or be less intense, but I can't do that. The best that I can suggest is thinking in terms of little rewards rather than big ones. You may not get lots of hours off at the moment, but you can get 5 minutes here and there. If you can figure out how to make those really count and convince your brain that they are relax moments then you will feel less burnt out and more able to work successfully when you are studying. Remembering 4th grade isn't really going to help at this point because you can't go backwards.Â
You are allowed not to like spring. Each person likes different seasons. I don't really have a favorite myself. But with climate change seasons are changing themselves. So maybe you will get your favorite season a little sooner this year.
@exuberantBlackberry9105
i went to school today and i thought i escaped it. but my mother is repeatedly asking me to just go to the temple once. i'm using homework as an excuse not to go...
tomorrow i gotta go to school to see my maths paper. and we have geography notebook submission. on wednesday we have parent teacher meeting, meaning my mother will come to school in the afternoon and we'll get home late. on saturday we have english notebook submission. why the helll on saturday? i generally skip school on saturday but this time i cant because of this english submission. i cant submit it before time because then it would look like a planned absence, and if i submit it late again, the teacher will kill me. remember what happened last time with english notebook submission?
so this is a ton of work. i just want a break from all this. and we don't even know our exam dates yet. only that we'll have full syllabus for these exams.
i'm having a really hard time managing on so little sleep. i'm trying to completely my geography notebook but it's taking ages because i cant concentrate. it's 12 am and i have so much left. i just have to finish it if i wanna go to school tomorrow, because otherwise i could be punished as having to sit on the floor. that would be so embarrassing and i cant let that happen.
3:40 am. wish me luck. the last time i was up so late i couldnt go to school the next day.
i have to be up at 6:30 even if my father drops me. he dropped me today so he'll be msd tomorroe.Â
been awake today for evry mjnute jnce 7:10 am. im exhausted. physixslly snd mentslly. its just so much gojng on.....
Remember that too little sleep means that you get less work done not more. You end up spending too much time staring into space. Going to sleep will help you to work better in the morning.
You are doing the best you can. At least you were able to use homework to keep from having to go to temple.
Sending lots of strength and peace.@exuberantBlackberry9105
everything is a mess at school lately. i hate school. in wanna skip you know. school feels really awful. it just sucks.
we got our maths papers today and i got 39/50. which is absolutely awful. then i stayed up till 3:30 am last night to do geography homework last night and submission didn't even happen today. and i feel so ignored by my friend lately, especially during breaks. she hardly ever talks to me and is busy talking to this other kid who i don't like.
then the history teacher humiliated me in front of the whole class today. it hurt so much. and it angered me so much. i wish i could just throw something hard at her face. i hate her. why does she always have to do this and make fun of students and make all sorts of harsh, unnecessary, and hurtful comments?! i just want her out of my life, i hate to see her.
but she'll probably teach us next year too, so great. all that making fun of students - everyone starts laughing and i try not to because i know how hurt that one student must feel, but sometimes i laugh because everyone else does. normally i don't think much of it, but every time that stupid teacher says something to me, it gets me hating her real bad.
and school rules suck. why so much restriction everywhere? i'm glad the rules arent well enforced.
I am sorry it was such a rough, depressing day. The teacher should not have said whatever she did. Remember that she is probably putting students down to make herself feel better. I understand your frustration.
Work on getting some more sleep. It will help a great deal.
Had a rough day myself because my credit card info got stolen.Â