hi!
@Hilltop9394
heyo. this is gonna be totally weird and maybe you won’t get this! we don’t know! but my L account is for some reason not working so I can’t get into it and I can’t talk:/ since this is my member account I can only talk through forums. So for the foreseeable future while i see what’s going on i’ll say hi through here. If you get this.
oh! if you don’t recognize me remember bob 😎
ok! hopefully you see this!
@steph8402 Ok hi I just got this. I felt super bad because my phone was dead and I couldn’t say anything. If you can talk tomorrow or tonight please let me know. (:
yooo you got it! is tomorrow ok? i wanna try and figure out if i can get it back if not we’ll talk here tomorrow is that ok??
@Hilltop9394 Can you see this? I’m just checking to see if replying to the first one will appear at the top or something weird like that.
@Hilltop9394
hi! so account not fixed it says 7-10 business days so hopefully by next week i’ll have an answer.. so i guess we’ll just have to talk on here for the time being. i’m so sorry :/
@steph8402Do you still wanna talk? I don’t want it to be to much trouble for you
hi! i didn’t see this yes i totally want to!
@Hilltop9394
if you want to though.
@steph8402 yeah I’d like to
@steph8402 okay hi! How was your day?
@Hilltop9394
it was an off day how was yours?
@steph8402 I’m sorry it wasn’t the best. Mine was just ok. Do you wanna talk about yours?
@Hilltop9394
just friends i’ve had for forever don’t even know my birthday and they expect me to go on a senior trip with them during my birthday. just kinda sucked knowing they don’t care about me lol.
but
do you wanna talk about yours?
@steph8402 I’m sorry but they probably didn’t mean it to be rude. Some of the people I really enjoy talking to I don’t know their birthday and I still care about them very much. But that might just say something about myself and my character. But I’m sorry it sucks to feel like your not seen
@Hilltop9394
it’s ok. i’ve just known them for like four years and you would think they would at least know in the general like season lol. but yeah you’re a really awesome good guy. so it’s ok. i’m just saying like my friends aren’t as caring and stuff about me. but thank you.
what did you do today?
@steph8402 I’m sorry
@Hilltop9394 But my day was pretty mediocre. I went to school and then the gym and walk around Walmart with friends for a bit. And besides from some annoying people it was ok
@Hilltop9394 Also idk if you know how these forum things work but all the messages are slowly going to the right and heading of screen. Do you know how to fix it?
@Hilltop9394
bleh annoying people. i’m glad it was chill. hopefully not as cold as it was here. i had to stay inside all day since i still am like weirdly sick. but the gym sounds cool.
@steph8402 It got a bit warmer. But I hope you feel better soon. Do you still wanna talk or rest?
@Hilltop9394
i still wanna talk! it’s just a runny nose and sore throat i’ll be ok:) but thank you
@steph8402 Ok if you see this please reply to the A message with the ahhhh. Sorry I’m so lost on where to reply to. But I hope your feeling better tomorrow
A
aaaaaaah
jk
@steph8402 I was trying to fix the going to the right thing. This is so confusing lol
@Hilltop9394
lol yeah it’s weird i just gave up trying and i’ll just respond. sorry this is weird. and im so sorry my account is under review.
@steph8402 it’s ok, it’s not your fault. I just got really scared when I didn’t see are chat cause I thought we might never get to talk again and that super scary
@Hilltop9394
i know i know i went on midday and i freaked out. i was like trying to do everything and i was so scared too. couldn’t lose my twin obviously
@steph8402 haha yeah me too. I’d be completely lost. And I would have like zero way of ever finding you again. But it’s good that didn’t happen
@Hilltop9394
i know it was scary i was scared i wouldn’t find you again.
- @steph8402 I thought you might have gotten fed up with me or was upset and didn’t want to ever talk again
@Hilltop9394
oh my god no never. you’re like my favorite person to talk to. if i ever disappear it’s cos something awful happened lol
@steph8402 I know you wouldn’t I was just scared of that. You’re not mean like that I’m sorry I said that. I don’t see you that way at all I was just worried
@Hilltop9394
no no don’t feel sorry. it’s ok. i know people who just dip without saying anything. but like just know i wouldn’t do that without absolutely something horrible happened to me which probably won’t ever happen haha
@steph8402 yeah I hope nothing bad happens to you. But if you ever don’t wanna talk to me again please tell me. I’d understand. Please just don’t leave without saying anything.
@Hilltop9394
number 1: i don’t think i’d voluntarily just think to stop talking to you.
number 2: i pinky promise i will IF it ever comes to that
@steph8402 Ok thank you. I’m sorry if I’m being annoying. We can talk about something else
@Hilltop9394
its ok you’re not being annoying at all. i know the feeling of people just ghosting me without like no notice so it is scary and that’s why i got so scared yesterday about it because i didn’t want you to think that i just left you like that. you’re really awesome and cool and you deserve the best of the best!
Is it ok if we talk here my words are running off the screen. It’s like a typewriter lol
lmaoo yes that’s ok just restart it whenever you need to i have the app so it’s like easier to read for me
@steph8402 Ok. But I just don’t want you to be upset with me and mostly I don’t want you to stop talking to me. I don’t wanna bother you though either. I know you say you enjoy talking to me but I just don’t believe it. And I’m sorry but that my fault. I just have trouble with people being nice to me.
@Hilltop9394
yeah i know i get that. it’s ok it’s not your fault it’s the people around you who made you feel that way about people. i won’t stop talking to you(: you can “bother” me as much as you want. which like isn’t bothering whatsoever but yeah.
@Hilltop9394 But you’re really nice and I don’t want to ever be a burden to you. I’m sorry I don’t really know what to say I’m just really upset and feel bad about myself. But I don’t wanna turn this into a session of self deprecation because it always turns to a loop for the rest of the night. So let’s just talk about something else please. I don’t know what else to say about this
you don’t have to see all of them but here are a few of my favorites haha
https://ibb.co/QXhv94K
https://ibb.co/HGVn0zm
https://ibb.co/sHZ9Qpm
https://ibb.co/jG55QDT
https://ibb.co/ck9bDHd
https://ibb.co/vXhfQ27
https://ibb.co/nfvFKSm
https://ibb.co/YTtZCRg
https://ibb.co/Jzjsw3j
https://ibb.co/rdgfG3J
https://ibb.co/YQbptcY
https://ibb.co/r445tHq
https://ibb.co/5Y75y5j
https://ibb.co/C1NVbKV
https://ibb.co/q5pr4Ls
https://ibb.co/ZxrN7C8
https://ibb.co/cwMSFq4
https://ibb.co/VpGCSRr
https://ibb.co/q53J8Yd
https://ibb.co/2M16Z6b
https://ibb.co/GdCdxmg
https://ibb.co/fFjhrK3
https://ibb.co/WcbjV3L
https://ibb.co/2jTVSmW
https://ibb.co/H7JVhfV
https://ibb.co/rH7X2GV
https://ibb.co/HDNs4px
https://ibb.co/F8zr6QD
https://ibb.co/zs60t4Q
https://ibb.co/5hD4nZ2
https://ibb.co/0Dr5Ftg
https://ibb.co/7WC9ksz
https://ibb.co/mcG4gsX
https://ibb.co/H2rCGHC
https://ibb.co/Btf8ZWZ
https://ibb.co/z5ng10n
https://ibb.co/sWfxp8H
https://ibb.co/QKYT2Zy
https://ibb.co/9YDkzD9
https://ibb.co/hXbvMGC
https://ibb.co/xHGd2tY
also sorry it took forever they weren’t uploading fast enough
@steph8402 it’s ok it’s just gonna take forever cause I can’t just click them lol. But yeah its a ton of photos
ugh i know i’m so sorry. you can do it later. i don’t wanna make it a million times more complicated for you.
@steph8402 it’s okay I’ll check them all tomorrow. If anything it’s good cause it will give me something to do haha
@Hilltop9394 Something to do at work typo
oh hahaha yes do it! it will take a hot sec lol. but they’re cool pictures! at least i think so
@steph8402 Yeah I bet!
haha yeah. well i’m still really sorry we gotta talk like this for the foreseeable 7-10 business day response. i know it’s not technically my fault but i still feel bad.
@Hilltop9394 But it’s getting late and we should probably get some rest. I hope you have a good night and a good day tomorrow. And hopefully your account gets back to normal soon.
@Hilltop9394 It’s not your fault at all. It just sucks I gotta reload the page to see if you send a message
same here it does suck fr.
@Hilltop9394
hey! so apparently i’m going to a family taco night tonight. so sadly i can’t talk today :(
but i hope your day was good. have a good night and a good day tomorrow(:
Hi, are you good to talk tonight?
hey! yeah i’m good to talk:) how was your day?
@steph8402 it was pretty bad, what about you?
oh no. i’m sorry. do you wanna talk about it?
it was pretty chill last day of spring break
@steph8402 well at work we stared talking about dumb videos of us when we were younger and I don’t have any videos of me cause I didn’t like myself to make them and I didn’t have any to show because of I don’t talk to people. And all this just got me thinking about all my problems.
@Hilltop9394 And then my coworkers dad came for some reason and we started talking about our dads. But I didn’t have anything to say because I hate my dad. Which sounds so stupid and emo but I don’t want to but I just do. So all day I was thinking about my problems and was upset
@Hilltop9394 And then like an our ago my mom was asking me why I always seem so upset and in the last two years my grades have been horrible and said she’s thinking about calling someone like a therapist or something. But I can’t have that that would basically be the end of everything. It would admit I have a problem and having everyone know that I go to therapy is humiliating and I would do anything to not have that.
@Hilltop9394 I’m sorry that was so long but everything feels horrible and I feel like everything’s getting worse.
ah i’m sorry that happened. i don’t have videos of me younger that i made either. if that makes you feel any better. but hey we all got some problems but that doesn’t mean we are bad or weak or a loser or anything. so you need to think about how amazing you are and the positives of you
i’m also sorry about your the dad talk. i’m also really hate my dad so i get that.
@steph8402 I’m sorry you feel that way. I wish you had a better relationship. It’s just difficult when it’s family and I don’t even have a reason or know why I hate him
oh you don’t have to apologize for it being too long. it is hard when you won’t really have a reason to hate a family member but it is normal it’s not like it doesn’t happen. do you think you have a reason to hate your dad? or can you think of one
@steph8402 Its a few things but I feel like they’re kinda petty. I hate how he raised my brother to be a *** cause that’s how he is or was. I hate how he blames my mom for stuff and makes her the butt of jokes. I think he’s a coward for saying things like my life is *** and I nobody loves me in front of his kids. And I really hate how he’s only sometimes bad. I hate how he’s funny and good with talking to people because I don’t wanna admired anything about him. I know it’s wrong and stupid but I sometimes wish he was worse so I could have a real reason to hate him
@Hilltop9394 I’m sorry I feel a big pathetic ranting about him like that.
@Hilltop9394 a bit. Typo
hey. even if someone is sometimes good it doesn’t mean he is always. to the sounds of it he’s manipulating and kinda rude. which is reasonable to hate him.
sorry i’m not responding fast i keep having to refresh and it doesn’t do fast enough.
@steph8402 It’s ok I have the same problem and I’m doing the same thing. I’m sorry too
@steph8402 No it isn’t. And I hate how I’m bad at being mean or hating him. I wish I could leave at 18 and never speak to my family again but I know I’d feel too bad to do that. And it sounds way worse than it is. I’m probably over reacting a ton. I would put them no matter how much I hate them because they’re family. I hate how I’m similar to him too
it’s ok don’t apologize. and hey i think the same when i’m 18 i totally wanna leave and just cut them off but i just don’t think i could ever. why do you think you’re similar to your dad? and it’s ok not to hate your family and hate at the same time. it’s family and family is always complicated
@Hilltop9394 A few days ago he was talking about how his brother was always an *** hole and how he would always take advantage of people and was selfish. I don’t really remember what he said but the way he described it, it sounded exactly like my brother and me. And then I got worried cause I know that if baseball doesn’t work for my brother and he would ever came at my door asking for money or something I couldn’t say no. That probably sounds really mean or pretentious but that’s at least to me I could totally see him talking advantage of my inability to say no because he does it to me now
I feel like my dad’s a more aggressive version of me. Like the way he talks and acts I feel like I would be a more confident version of him. Like if I didn’t grow up insecure or secluded I would have been like him. Even his bad qualities. Like the way he gets mad and says stuff like no body cares about me it reminds me of me and I don’t like it. And I don’t think I can do anything about it. And sorry I’m talking so much especially with me being a super slow and sloppy typer
no no ur not a sloppy typer! i’m sorry for responding late it’s a little confusing in forums sometimes haha. you are not your father whatsoever! you are a nicer better person who yea is a little insecure but is NOT manipulative or mean or makes fun of people like that.
@steph8402 Thank you for saying that. I just don’t really know what to do about this. It’s nice to get it off my chest but I’m not sure how to use this information to better myself.
@Hilltop9394 Thank you and I’m sorry you have that problem too. But yeah hopefully we can figure out how to say no together. But really thank you for listening to me.
of course i believe in you and id help and listen to you any time we’re twins! haha
@steph8402 Yeah we’re twins hahahaha!
🕺👼
literally us
@steph8402 haha real
yessir. we’re probably gonna rule the world obviously 🙄
@steph8402 Ahahaha yeah obviously 🙄
@Hilltop9394 🕺🌎👼
exactlyyyyy well we’re on top of the world so like
🕺👼
🌎
that did not work but it’s ok.
@Hilltop9394 But what should or can I do? I just yapped for like an hour and I don’t really know what to do with it. It was nice to get it off my chest but I don’t know what to do with this information to better myself.