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Torean and Kiara: The 6th Revelation

Torean August 28th
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Seriously, Don't. Read. This. Thread. Nothing will be revealed to you, and you wouldn't comprehend it anyway. Every series needs a title with "revelation" or "revelations" and its always the worst one. So, there you go, it'll be super boring too. But the two of us are in for the long haul, so don't worry about us, we'll make it.

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jesusredeemedme2425 September 3rd
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Forced how?

Torean OP September 3rd
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By men being men and by being gross. Just in general. I don't know all the details, but I know you've been hurt

jesusredeemedme2425 September 3rd
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I made the choice to mess around with my first boyfriend.

Torean OP September 3rd
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How much can you be faulted for that? I was only 13 when I couldn't bring myself to stop a girl I liked from something. There's a lot of conflict that happens. It's not like just saying no to cigarettes. There's a lot of natural inclination to keep going, and in a case like that, probably a lot of connection and stuff.

jesusredeemedme2425 September 4th
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It’s an addiction. It started with the internet and stuff when I was younger. Then it got worse.

Torean OP September 4th
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Oooh me too. Another thing in common 😅

jesusredeemedme2425 September 5th
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It’s really REALLY hard to shake. Possibly as difficult as becoming free from a drug addiction…

Torean OP September 5th
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As someone who has skirted a borderline alcohol addiction, I can verify. It is really hard to shake the mentality even if you get past acting out.

jesusredeemedme2425 September 6th
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You did?


How so?

Torean OP September 6th
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I mean, I was probably averaging 10-15 drinks per week for a couple of years. Now I'm down to more like 3... And most of that is just casual hangouts playing pool with friends at the bar.


It's caused me issues in the past, maybe untold ones. I just want it to be something present occasionally and for it to stay positive. My body itself is good at letting me know now when to stop, even if my mind doesn't.

jesusredeemedme2425 September 6th
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I’m glad you’re more free now. <3


It? Wym?

Torean OP September 7th
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Thank you, definitely trying. ❤️😊


It as in drinking. I've never been mean, but it has worsened my impulsivity and anxiety before. That and it messes with my sleep and ability to lose weight... It does that part to everyone. There are benefits though, it just takes being smart with it and not going too crazy

jesusredeemedme2425 September 8th
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Benefits?

Torean OP September 8th
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Good state of mind, creativity, lowered stress, stuff like that

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Why would it make you creative?

Torean OP Saturday
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It helps bring out states of mind that are more interesting than what my sober mind is currently stuck in. Different creations become possble

Examples?

Torean OP Monday
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Like, I used to get started on writing new parts on stuff by going to a bar and getting a gin and juice. That's actually how my first painting turned out good (in my opinion) I hadn't painted in like .. 15 years

I dont recommend continuing to use that for creativity lol

Torean OP Monday
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Lol, I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, but it's worked for me. I .. kinda stopped doing it. I dunno, I've slowed it down even more

jesusredeemedme2425 August 31st
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I think if a man truly tried to love him… I’d fight it. I wouldn’t think it was real… Nothing feels real anymore. Love just… doesn’t work out for me. I don’t know that it exists…

Torean OP August 31st
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Hey, love has a hard time working out, but that doesn't mean that it's a lie or artificial. What you've been missing is real connection. Men tend to block real connection because of society. Just like they don't think it's ok to cry...

jesusredeemedme2425 September 1st
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Idk what that even is anymore.


Men need to know it’s ok to cry. I’m more attracted to a man who’s in touch with his feelings…

Torean OP September 1st
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Well, you deserve to know and feel the good aspects.


I agree. It's difficult for me to cry in a way, and it rarely happens, but I won't let society make me feel ashamed. We blind ourselves to more than just intense emotions if we internalize fighting something like that.

jesusredeemedme2425 September 1st
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I deserve nothing. I am a harlot.


Blind yourselves to what?

Torean OP September 1st
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You do deserve good things, and no one uses the word harlot anymore. That word doesn't define you. ❤️


We blind ourselves to realities of how we feel, how others feel, what those feelings effect, and how the cycle continues.

jesusredeemedme2425 September 1st
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I was thinking a different word… but I’d get censored. It starts with W…


And yes. It does. You don’t know what I’ve done.

Torean OP September 2nd
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I know what word you meant. 😉 I know better, there really is so much more to you than what you've done and how you struggle with it. ❤️


You don't know what I've done either. Those things don't define me. I'm finally having an easier time with it I think. But I wish I could describe... I've been dangerous about it .. I've blurred lines with some interesting roleplays... At least 3 of them were married... But it's been some time. I don't think I was capable of thinking or acting clearly during most of that. I've grown since then.

jesusredeemedme2425 September 3rd
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Doesn’t feel like it.


Interesting roleplays?

Torean OP September 3rd
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Well, I can see the positive things about you that are harder for you to see. ❤️ Sometimes an outside perspective is what you really need. Especially a non-judgy one that happens to like you a lot. 😉


Uh, yeah, I mean... That sounded weird. I don't know if you want to know, but it's not family type ones or too young type ones.


Also, I should probably add the disclaimer on the married ones that two of those husbands wanted to include me, and they other one was divorce-pending. I do have some honor.

jesusredeemedme2425 September 5th
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Maybe I need to be told what they are. ;)


You like me a lot??? Ooh, I didn’t know that! Tell me more! *puts my head on my hands and smiles at you expectantly* :)


Good, let’s not have anything weird lol XD


I do want to know lol


You did three at once?

Torean OP September 5th
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Hmm, so caring and fun to be around. It feels good to be loved by you, and you're someone that someone like me can actual mutually grow with. ❤️ Is that a start? Lol, I love the image of you reacting like that.


Ooh, different kinds of dominant stuff? 😉


No, not three at once. If it was, that could have been interesting... 😂

jesusredeemedme2425 September 6th
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I LOVE it when I can mutually grow with a man… It’s so much deeper and more beautiful. <3


*bats my long eyelashes at you* <3


That… could potentially be scary. :(


I didn’t mean all 3 couples at once XD

Torean OP September 6th
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I get what you mean. It is deep and beautiful ❤️ ❤️


It could potentially be a scary, but any good Dom respects limits and actually invests in making things feel safe and totally mutual. If the subject matter is uh... Spicier... Then it just needs to be at that safe mutuality.


Lol, so... I haven't exactly had a threeway either. 😂

jesusredeemedme2425 September 6th
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I’d be afraid :(


Me neither. Doesn’t interest me lol

Torean OP September 7th
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Things like that aren't for everyone, everyone has their own limits. I'd never want to make you afraid, you don't deserve that


Lol, I feel like I'd have to be deeply connected to two people to be interested in that... So probably not

jesusredeemedme2425 September 7th
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You might if you wanted to be dom.


Yeah I don’t like that idea lol

Torean OP September 8th
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No, never. I can want to be dom, but it's not ever in a way that it's at someone expense.

jesusredeemedme2425 September 8th
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Hmm… :’(

Torean OP September 8th
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I don't joke around with that. I can't stand Doms that brag about things like that