Mindfulness and DBT: Skill Distress Tolerance
Distress Tolerance skills are used to help us cope and survive during a crisis, and helps us tolerate short term or long term pain (physical or emotional). Tolerating distress includes a mindfulness of breath and mindful awareness of situations and ourselves. Radical Acceptance.
All of us have crisis in our lives to some degree. Sometimes these crises are big, like a divorce, a death, trauma related things and our mental health. Sometimes these crises are small, like traffic, a long line at check out, or not knowing what to wear that day. Mindfulness DBT distress tolerance skills help you get to a more manageable emotional place for crisis survival.
A key ingredient of distress tolerance is the concept of radical acceptance. This refers to experiencing the situation and accepting the reality of it when it is something that you cannot change. By practicing radical acceptance without being judgmental or trying to fight reality, You will be less vulnerable to intense and prolonged negative feelings.
Mindfulness DBT distress tolerance acronym ACCEPTS is a group of skills to help you tolerate a negative emotion until you are able to address and eventually resolve the situation.ACCEPTS stands for Activities, Contributing, Comparisons, Emotions, Push away, Thoughts, and Sensation. These techniques are designed to keep your emotions manageable until you can resolve the problem.
ACTIVITIES Engage in an activity, and this can be just about any healthy activity. Read a book, make strawberry jam, go for a walk, call your friend, wash the dishes. Anything that keeps you busy and keeps your mind off the negative emotion will help.
CONTRIBUTING Do something kind for another person. Giving service can help you relieve emotional distress in a couple ways. An act of service is also an activity that, as mentioned above, will help get your mind off of the problem at hand. Additionally, we feel good about ourselves when we help someone else, and that in itself can help you deal with stress. Help cook dinner, mow the neighbor's lawn, or bake cookies for a friend or relative. Each of these contributing ideas will distract you from your current situation.
COMPARISONS Put your life in perspective. Is there a time when you've faced more difficult challenges than you're facing today? Maybe not—maybe this is the most intense situation and most intense emotion you've ever experienced. If that's the case, is there another person who has suffered more than you? Are you in your safe home, while in another part of the world someone else is searching for food and shelter after a natural disaster? The goal of this exercise is not to add more distress and emotional pain to your current situation. Instead, use this skill to add a different perspective to what youre experiencing right now.
EMOTIONS You have the power to invoke the opposite emotion of your current distressed feeling. If you are feeling anxious, practice meditation for 15 minutes. If you're feeling depressed, go ahead and Google Image search "adorable puppies". (If you're in need of a real laugh, search "ugly puppies".) Adding a dose of the opposite emotion helps reduce the intensity of the negative emotion.
PUSH AWAY When you cant deal with something just yet, its okay to push the problem out of your mind temporarily. You can push away by distracting yourself with other activities, thoughts, or mindfulness. You can even set a time to come back to the issue. You know that it will be addressed, and you can relax in the interim.
THOUGHTS Replace negative, anxious thoughts with activities that busy your mind, such as saying the alphabet backwards or doing a Sudoku puzzle. These distractions can help you avoid self-destructive behavior until you're able to achieve emotion regulation.
SENSATION Use your five senses to self-soothe during times of distress. A self-soothing behavior could be taking a warm bath with a lavender bath bomb and relaxing music, eating a comforting snack, or watching your favorite show. Anything that appeals to your senses can help you cope with the present situation.
1. I know this is alot to take in, and we are not going to move fast on this. What are your thoughts so far on what you read?
2. How do you think Mindfulness DBT Skills can help you in your daily life?
3. What are some things about this skill you like to know more about?
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@RumpleSteeleSkin
That is a lot to take in at once -- and I'm not fully wrapping my head around it (stressful day).
I think this is something I'm interested in exploring.
@diplomaticconfucious
HI Diplomation good to see you here
I agree with you on alot to take in at once. Take it slow. That is why we are doing these steps slow and not fast. Also whatever your worry or concern on this skill please share if you feel ready to
@RumpleSteeleSkin
I just need to take it like you would eating an elephant... one bite at a time.
Just so much going on ... my mind says "you want me to comprehend what right now?" :)
@RumpleSteeleSkin
Very helpful information. i find i am getting much better with dealing with most of the things using mindfulness thinking but i am still catching myself with getting negative thoughts when having to accept something i cannot change and just have to wait. i use distraction which is very helpful but would be interested in getting more information about the point "thoughts".
@amiablePeace77
HIya Peace great to see youGood to hear that the skills help you and you are seeing it. Wow to catch those negative thoughts can sometimes be hard-but seems you are doing radical acceptance
Using distraction skills in life things is good. Please can you explain on what you like more information on?
@RumpleSteeleSkin
I thought about it again and i guess i have to figure it out myself, everybody has to find out what is best for them.
i struggle when i am confronted with things which are fundamentally against my ideas of life, i mean very serious things.
@RumpleSteeleSkin thanks for this sorry I need to read up on DBT a little more. Thanks for sharing this.
@soulsings
I am trained in CBT and now it is DBT lol! confusing or what lol
@Rumplesteeleskin
thanks very interesting.
@MistyMagic well do a post on CBT and how that applies to mindfulness of vice versa!
I definitely understand the concept of radical acceptance because it is something that has happened many times throughout my life. I am still learning that I can't control everything and to not worry about things I cannot change.
@RumpleSteeleSkin
Hi there. So I'm just learning about dbt and this step of radical acceptance for things out of one's control and observing rather than attaching is something i've been practicing and getting better at (though hardly perfect let me tell you). My question is that as I've been doing this more and more over the last several months and becoming calmer in my working day, I observe the distress that co-workers put themselves under by attaching tightly to things they cannot control. For my subordinates, I encourage them not to attach and, surprisingly, I get back "Oh no it is mine" meaning the emotion. I feel this so it is right they are saying. I cannot respond to that as it is their choice. Is there anything I can say to gently help them question their own choices in this regard?
@oakhenge
Hi Oak good to see you hmm I'm not sure how to respond to this as I don't know the whole situation. Maybe the best way to help them is having them see this skill in YOU. Maybe also if you can talk with some co workers that you are closer to one this skill. You are right tho, it truly is up to them to have this extra stress or to find ways to eleiminate it or lesson it. I really enjoyed your post-thank you
Personally I feel it's hazardous to compare our situations to other people's. I don't want to make anyone feel like it's not okay for them to be feeling whatever they are feeling. But that is only one option and we are free to use any of the other options. I've recently revisited the idea that sometimes the right thing to do is actually to run away (or push away). I think we should try to differentiate between the times when it is good to face a fear and times when it is best to listen to our fears. I believe they are there for a reason too.
@Chiaroscuro1
Hi Chiaroscuro good to see you dropping inI too- agree that not to compare whatever someone is going through or their illnesses. When I done this forum thread it simply was based on "skills" as we all get into crisis! We all have thoughts/feelings that get so intense, it feels like things are so bad. If we use some "radical acceptance" and some other mindfulness skills we have ways of controling our own thoughts/feelings and moods.
@RumpleSteeleSkin
thanks so much for your post! It was super helpful! Really related to the post... and was so grateful you shared all these tools all together. I was doing some of the things listed and sometimes having a hard time figuring out if it was avoidance or healthy giving space and healing time, so this share on dbt really helped answer some questions and ease some uncertainty. I really found comfort in what I read. Thank you so much for sharing these tools!
2. How do you think Mindfulness DBT Skills can help you in your daily life? Today, it immediately helped calm some of the catastrophizing in my day. I started to hear my thoughts like, "If I don't respond right away, or today" I am a bad person. Or the worse fear "you are hurting this person you love" when I am just trying to do self care and take some space and hold some boundaries. Knowing I can push away and not keep emotionally pummeling myself and distract and not be a horrible mean person without consciousness really helps. Knowing I can choose many paths to healing helps so much. There isn't one right way! (Maybe I can stop beating myself up! 🤣 Lol)
3. What are some things about this skill you like to know more about? This had a lot of food for thought and I am going to reread it again. I have been thinking about the word tolerance and if it was a physical sensation in the body what it feels like. It feels spacious and calm and peaceful. The emotion would still be there but it wouldn't obliterate the rest of the emotions or obliterate the sun or moon or even the day, it would just coexist with everything else. There is a saying..there is room in our ....(fill in friendship..marriage... relationship) ... for... (anger, feeling betrayed, feeling sad...making mistakes..etc.. ). that is my favorite feeling.. Peace and tolerance... the opposite of ptsd and that tunnel vision back against wall feeling. when I tell myself there is enough room for...... emotion/mistake and I still love you/me/us i feel tolerance. The article opened lots of possibilities and spaciousness inside and maybe even enough for some peace, acceptance and self forgiveness today. What does tolerance feel like to tou? And what are some favorite tools to say to yourself to help move into these mindful states? I use RAIN sometimes. I recognize everything happening. I accept that this is happening just as it is. I investigate what I can do. And I allow myself to do what needs to be done without judging Or labeling myself or others. okay, that felt better just saying that.
I know i just can't keep going round a this merry go round of beating myself up for setting boundaries when someone hurts me, feeling guilty, and having to make the Other person worse in my mind so I don't forsake my boundaries. (not because what they did was okay, but because reliving it over and over in my head just hurts me). Please help me God. It's miserable. The distraction of dbt helps from going down those Unhealthy self-loathing paths, until I can get back on the path toward internal peace and love. Thanks for sharing! I needed this today!